I need advice from my friends here

[fsophiah]

I haven't been around for a little while, partly because I felt stalled and partly because I have had so many changes so fast that my life seems sort of, well, redirected. So redirected that I sought help from a psychiatrist who came highly recommended from someone I trust. I went to him because I felt that I had boundary issues. My mother recently moved to town and into an independent living facility, my son in Japan's Korean girlfriend moved in with us for a year (she doesn't drive), and I am called upon a lot to babysit my local son's daughter. Everyone seemed to have an agenda. Also, my Japan son and my mother both have narcissistic personality disorder, and they both lean very heavily on me. (More than one therapist has confirmed this diagnosis with both of them.) The shrink asked whether my Japan son has alcohol problems (he does), so the guy said that AA really did very well with narcissistic types. All of a sudden, I can see where this is going. I've had two sessions with the guy, and I feel beseiged by AA jargon, probably because my husband got sober with AA 20 years ago. I fell in love with MWO last year, took topamax, and loved what it did for my alcohol cravings and consumption, but it just wrecked my digestive system. I had to quit the topa. Now, I've back to drinking every day, and I have 2-4 glasses of wine a day. I don't want to go to AA. I want to try another medication. Now, I'm afraid to ask my therapist for medication because he's been pushing AA, and I haven't even told him that I think I'm drinking too much. You know that look you get when you say you want to moderate...eyes roll, and you know he's thinking denial, denial, denial... I feel safe here, so I need some advice. I have to go back to him on Friday. If you've stuck with reading this, thanks. It's kind of long. I welcome all pms.

[hablur]

I need advice from my friends here

Welcome back. I would drop him and find another doctor .. the one that first gave you topamax and begin taking it again. I have begun seeing a therapist and see a PDoc and they both know that if they bring up the AA word with me it will be the last time they see me.

I wish you the best of luck and welcome back. Please continue to post!

[morrison]

I need advice from my friends here

fsophia, welcome back. Sorry to hear the topa was hurting your body. There are other alternatives. Bear, one of the members here, mentioned a once a month shot that they have out there now. I'm going to ask my doc about it the next time I see him. Once a month shot sounds too good to be true. I always miss my pills. I don't know why I do that, but I still do. Anyway, there is Campral, but that isn't for moderation, its for abstinence. I don't know what else there is for moderation, but science is really making some leaps and bounds with the chemical correlation to alcoholism, and not just looking at the spiritual side, as AA tends to do.

[fsophiah]

I need advice from my friends here

Thanks, guys. And you are right. I am most interested in the chemical side. I'm not the narcissistic one, and I have a spiritual life. I just don't want to feel that I have to have my life totally consumed with my identification with alcohol.

[gabby]

I need advice from my friends here

fsophiah.....no advise right now just a big welcome back and big hugs!!!!!!

[Guest]

I need advice from my friends here

Hi fsophiah and great that you`ve came back.

I think we all know what`s right for ourselves to a certain degree and think your psychiatrist almost pushing AA down your throat isn`t doing you any favours.

Good to hear that you feel very at home at M.W.O. and have enjoyed success through this site in the past. I understand that you can`t tolerate the topa, but lots of people here are successfully cutting down or abstaining on some of the other meds. or even just coping with the supps. Plus, as you are already aware, the support here is second to none.

I wish you much luck,

Starlight Impress

[tea]

I need advice from my friends here

Hi Fs, good to hear from you (what does Fsopiah mean ?). Anyway just want to say that I know what you mean, if you don't want to stop altogether then you/we must be 'in denial' or 'de nile' as the song goes, there really isn't (I don't think) any way of someone who is not a 'problem drinker/alcy' to understand, I truly believe they think we are just greedy, alcy, have no control and therefore second class citizens because we get drunk (a lot - grin) or used to get drunk. I know for certain that I didn't understand how my lovely Dad just didn't stop drinking if he hated being drunk so much..... oh my, I really do now, unfortunately too late, he died aged 60 from chronic alcoholism, and here I am, right here on MWO. I often wonder if if if if if in his day there were alternatives to AA would it have made a difference to him, I do know for certain that he would have loved to have been a part of this, the 'crew' on here would really have tickled him, the honesty, the humility, but I do believe most of all the humour.

Lx

[sammys]

I need advice from my friends here

Went to an AA meeting once and I did not like it one bit, I guess your not supposed to like it but I hated the way everyone has to say I am an alcoholic and then tell some story of what happened to them et. It was all to weird for me. I don't have an answer for you but I do agree with what you are saying. I think that alot of people feel the way you do.


Sammys

[ducky]

I need advice from my friends here

Welcome back, fsophia, you were posting when I first joined but haven't seen you lately. Glad you are back. Could you try the supps and see if it helps you moderate? Cutting from 2-4 to 1-2 would put you in the recommended range, and that would be a start...

Sounds like you have an awful lot on your plate just now. I hope being back here will help.

[IAD]

I need advice from my friends here

I have friends that sware by AA and others that Sware at it ! I don't know....what ever works ! We are here to give you support either way ! I have friends in AA but I don't belong. It's up to you! MWO gives you an alternitive. IAD

[Beaches]

I need advice from my friends here

Welcome back,
It has been a long time I was wondering where you have been. I knew you had a lot going on with your family. I agree, maybe finding a new therapist would help. What about Campral if Topa upset up your stomach?? I have never tried it but I know a lot people here swear by it.
I hope you find peace soon.

[happycamper68]

I need advice from my friends here

FS,
Hi hon,
Get a new doc and get Campral or Naltrexone or both (The shot is Naltrexone but they also have pills- I got the pills- the shot is once a month I wouldn't go that route)-
I HAD great success with the combo and was moderating quite well (4 or 5 days AF and then 2 or 3 days non AF). Then I had an eye infection and I got nervous because I had a bad issue with Topa and my eyes.

I don't think the Campral or Naltrexone had anything to do with it now, but I have been drinking too much lately and am going to start over. Mind you these 2 drugs are meant for abstinence but they worked for me for mods as long as I didn't drink for several days in a row. Hope this helps and so glad you are back! Camper :h

[eustacia]

I need advice from my friends here

fsophiah--I sent you a PM.

E

[chrysa]

I need advice from my friends here

Hi Dear fsophia,

I want to repsond..you are such a caring soul ..don't know if this will help..you are an intelligent woman..so take everything and then make up your own mind.

Do you mind if I net this out..I am so tired..

Drop this psychiatrist... ( I am a stong believer that mature women should have mature female shrinks..period)

You must always go with what YOU know has worked..MWO worked but not the topa ..my scenario exactly!! AA does not seem to go with your grain at this point..just because he has an MD behind his name means nothing.... go with your gut

I think you do need to take control & set some boundaries in your life...with mother, son, babysitting, etc. Perhaps a nice female therapist or even knowledgeable friend could help you set up a plan

2-4 glasses of wine per day...well you are not a drunk yet..by far..and you are mentally clear about your problem... I am not the best example as I drink the same...and I struggle to reduce..just saying...you have plenty plenty of options here...

You sound very stressed...work on getting those external stresses under control first....

grain of salt..grain of salt...
Luv~C~

[tawnyfrog]

I need advice from my friends here

fsophia

I've sent you a PM.