i tried

[jay42]

i voultenteerd for a mental health programme i tired to help this guy but it didnt work out
i tried my best
now im gettig in my ear from my brother saying im a fascist cosi ddint help him enough
load of bullshit i tried you know
my supervisor siad im the best male voulnenter there and the person i tried to befriend was beyond help .
so my brother knows nothig i dropped the guy cos he was leading me into booze
i had to do it 10 days AF free
now im drinking again always people blame me always blame
i
im tired tired of being in my body my friends are gone my cat is gone
..im not even talkig about slef pity
if my own my own brother cant understand me
well fuk him
..
i try ..... what can i do
i want to live
buti cant see any reason

[morrison]

i tried

Wow jay. That is just terrible. Having family not support you is just devistating. I don't know why your brother would say those things. I wish I had an answer. Maybe he is jealous? I've seen a lot of sibling rivalry in other families, as well as my own. You've done your best. And if counseling this person was truly leading you to booze, you made the right decision. Don't second guess yourself. If you were to counsel him, and you were on the booze, you would only make things worse with that person, and make things worse for yourself. It is not selfish to take care of number one. I hate when people put that stuff on you. If you don't take care of youself, you can NEVER be there for others. That is something that this board reinforces. We see members come on here, that are having rough times in their lives with family, friends, and co-workers. Once they pull things together, they are much more useful to the people around them, and then can truly see who is worth helping, and who is not. Take time, care for yourself, and things will work out. There are people here that understand. Don't ever give up jay.

[imatree]

i tried

Jay, there's something that shouldn't surprise me as much as it does, because it has happened numerous times, but still it always surprises me that those times when I feel utterly hopeless and drenched in despair - these times, these feelings, always turn around.

YOU KNOW you did your best, allow yourself some peace in that. And give yourself some kudos for the AF days.
Just because he's your brother doesn't mean his opinion of you in anyway defines who you are or what you are capable of. Only you do that.

Peace to you, keep posting....

[jay42]

i tried

seems he doesnt want anything to do with me anymore
i have to carry on ...
i want to leave......
we are all rsponsible for our own salvation i know this.
.
hi betty slimey bear popeye .
im all written out
just .nothing

[rachel28]

i tried

hey come on, bro s an sisters always fall out, me an mine just started talking after 2 yrs of nothing,

please please help your self first, u deserve it as much as the next,
u sound like such a giving loving person,
love ur self

u sound like u have give everything u r to every 1 else,

find who u r

an try an like u, never mind any 1 else,

give yourself something, please,

[betty boop]

i tried

Ooh, Jay Love,

Don't be all wrote out, I'm glad you posted because I was wondering where you are .......... Well done on your 10 days AF ...........

We are all here for you ..........

Biggest BB hugs ever, BB xx

[Guest]

i tried

Hi jay42,
Families and so called `friends` can give us such a hard time. My mother does try to understand my drinking, but keeps saying how I haven`t really got a problem, simply because she can`t face admitting that the daughter she raised does indeed have a drink problem!!! She means well.....bless her, but she will never understand where I`m at, or where I`m coming from, simply because `the drink` has never got her. You really have to have our problem to fully understand it.

Jay, am really just starting out......almost a month moderating...........whether aiming for mods or abs, this is so bloody, desperately hard. You`ve proved your worth work-wise and tried to help that guy as much as you possibly could, but when you realized he was dragging you down and causing you to turn to the booze again, you did right to bale out...........our battle is so hard that we really have to put ourselves first. Your brother would have to be in our shoes to understand this.You have nothing for which to feel guilty, so don`t let others try to dump that at your door.

Much love,

Starlight Impress

[Guest]

i tried

Oh Jay, I would never blame you, your human you reached out to another unfortunaltely your brother couldn't see that. We all feel tired of exsisiting from time to time., but please don't give up! Your brothers issues are his own, he has to deal with them not you. Please know you are not alone a lot of people care and only want the best for you! Your A/f string of days was wonderful, lets try again shall we?
BIG HUGS!!
Mar

[Popeye]

i tried

C'mon Jay,
There's always a light..always.
I'm certain of this.

Paul.

[jonboy1968]

i tried

Jay.
Concentrate on yourself, I know it is selfish, but you arent a counselor. If your bro has a problem with that then tell him to sort your mates problems out. You have your problems to sort out.

[IAD]

i tried

Que sedra.... sedra ! You do what you can do......... after that let the chips fall where they will fall ! You have done all you can do, Carry on & do the best you can do. Don't let other people tell you what you should do ! IAD

[Bean]

i tried

I know it's hard when you feel like you put yourself out there and try to help someone and be a good friend/sibling/employee and only seem to get hassle back and people putting you down but I am a firm beleiver that what goes around, comes around. You may not be aware of it yet but being and doing good things generates good energy and attracts good things to you. Sounds like your brother is the one with the problem. When I am low in self esteem I always think everyone else knows better than me and is right but it's not the case. As others have already said, you need to take care of yourself and when you are feeling a bit better it will be easier to resolve these issues.
Don't give up. Thinking of you.
Bean x

[Pisces]

i tried

Hi Jay,

Ask me about family, lol, don't.

I feel a connection with you, because of our poetry I guess.

I hope you will feel a good connection here, with the friends that we've chosen for our MWO family, and I reckon we all understand,

Take care bro, love you xxx, Jas