To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

[Rocky]

Since I had broken my AF run a couple weeks ago I decided to test Moderation.

last weekend I did OK with a couple drinks Friday and Sat. On the one hand I felt good that I could do it and limit the amount, but on the other hand I had this strong impression on me that I was still putting poison in me and that nothing good could come of it.

I know it is the triggers of life (stress: money, job, family, old mistakes, sins, failures and the reality of they're fruit) that cause me or move me to want a drink.

Yesterday having a house full of partying drinking people I joined in, but did not moderate well. I am mad a me today, and realize that moderation may not be for me.

However... I must figure out how to deal with the things that throw me over the edge. I trust and turn to my faith continually but still fall because we are not perfect.

I have been to the Doc about my Medicine (efexxor) and he increased for now but we agreed I should go to a Psychologist to talk through issues and the underling problems for the need of medicine...(next Thursday)
From my viewpoint I have never thought very highly of psychotherapy as these people are just like us, and they listen and take our money but does anything ever get resolved?

Maybe some of you have some feed back on this.

Well Bless you all, as we continue on the journey...

Rocky

[Guest]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

Hi Rocky,
I have never been one for psychologists and psychiatrists either...........like you say, at the end of the day, they`re just people much like ourselves...........only, they have specific training which we lack. I still think there is a great deal of stigma attached to psychotherapy, which is a shame, as I think many of us could really benefit from it and possibly even get to the root of why we drink, with a view to resolving those issues. I hope next wk.`s appointment goes well.

As far as drinking is concerned, you have did so very well with your lengthy AF spell and stopping at a couple last weekend. I guess the night you overindulged is just a reminder to us all that we will always be faced with temptation.......maybe forever.I also think we all regard alcohol as poison to varying degrees as we realize its potential power of destruction.

I wish you much love and luck,

Starlight Impress

[IAD]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

Rocky,
Poop hapens ! Lets get started on the right track ! It's rough..... I have to deal with this problem every day...... Help!!!!! Give me something......to make it to next day . IAD:thanks:

[Breez]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

Hi Rocky

That's probably the hardest part of going AF- not using alcohol as a crutch anymore. To stand on our two feet, alone, and face the world in all it has to offer is a huge step.

Who says we can't use tools to help make it easier. Try the psych. and see what happens. With my journey I tried everything under the sun because I wanted a life where alcohol did not dictate it. I wanted a life where thoughts of alcohol (how much to drink, when to drink, slow down) weren't consuming my thoughts.

I tried mods. and that didn't take away the nagging feelings. Sure I sometimes succeeded with mods but it still turned into a circle of successes & failures. My main goal was to get rid of the hangovers and stop the cycle-to wake up & appreciate each day. I didn't arrive at Abs overnight-there was a lot of trial & error to find what worked and what made me happy. I finally feel liberated from alcohol. I can stand alone without that crutch & it feels good. I learned to handle things without alcohol being my only answer. I see the world thru AF glasses & my future looks bright. My mod glasses only showed cloudiness(unpredicable) as I could never know if that first drink would lead to 1 or 7.

Rock-try anything once. The psych. may give you suggestions on how to handle situations that you yourself may not have thought of. I wish you success & happiness in whatever decision you make.

[sujul]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

Sorry you're not feeling so good, Rocky--:l

Psychotherapy is only as good as the therapist--a good therapist is able to help you find your own answers....in other words, it's not about them knowing more than you do or being somehow better people, but rather that they should have the skills to help you discover the best that's in you and explore your own path.

The best therapists are careful listeners who then ask skillful questions that help you explore your options and discover your own answers...it's a skill like anything else and some are better than others...

[Niblet]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

Hello Rocky, I hope that you find your own perfect nitch in this adventure we are all on.. I wish you well... Just like anything else though, when you are listening to your doctor, filter out what doesn't apply to you... Good Luck, we are here for you. ~Niblet~

[adagirl]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

To go AF or Mods, this is the million $ question huh! I have the same question for myself long-term. Right now, I am trying mods, but I wonder if the only reason I am able to do it is because of the med I am on (Naltrexone). One thing I can say about moding is that you certainly have to start thinking of alcohol in a new way if you are ever going to mod successfully. It can no longer be a crutch or something you turn to in stress. You have to plan plan plan and be commited to the mod limits that you make for yourself. You have to be realistic w/yourself as to whether or not it is really possible for you to enjoy JUST 1, 2, 3 or whatever your limit will be. This is why I'm not sure if mods will work for me if I go off of the Naltrexone. The Naltrexone makes me 'enjoy' alcohol less and makes me able to stop when I planned to stop. My previous experience w/alcohol (without medication) is that I enjoy it way too much and something goes off in my head where it just becomes way too difficult to stop at a reasonable amount.

Anyway, I wish you all the best in making this decision. I know it is hard. Most of us are still grappling w/this I think. Oh, and on psychotherapy, I've never done it, but I do like the hypno a lot. Maybe give that a try if you haven't before. Best of luck to you!

[Bella]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

Hi Rocky. I had counselling, is that like psychotherapy? He listened and I talked. By talking I was able to work through issues I had. I am very clear after having these sessions why I turn to alcohol. So , I feel it benefitted me alot.

My thoughts on moderating or abstaining? I find it too much of a strain to moderate. It makes me feel like I have a lead around my neck. Or perhaps a choke chain that I have to pull on every so often to keep myself in check. No thanks, I'm not a dog!!!! AF all the way I'm afraid, Its easier. all the best to you. Bella xxx

[gabby]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

Rock,
Make sure you like your therapist. You will know right off the bat. It ya don't - don't even waste your time just like anyone you meet - you will either hit it off right away or not. Just go to someone else right away. Maybe try both sexes.

This past weekend I had a sip of beer. That was a SIP. I know I will never be able to moderate cuz....damm, even with the topa it tasted good. I have an addictive personality and I know it could be all to easy to be right back. It starts with just a little and works right back into the old pattern. Unless I went to a state where beer wasn't available. I don't seem to have the problem with all alcohol - just cold beer however do emensly enjoy the buzz.

Love seein you post. Good luck my friend. C

[tea]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

Hi Rocky, really sad to hear you are not so great just now but lovely to see you in a different thread than our usual. Wish I could offer you the 'feel good factor' that I take from you almost daily. Also wish you could know what an inspiring guy you are in this steep climb we are all struggling with. Wish I could think of more. Thinking of you.

Lorna

[IAD]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

Rocky,,,,,
Help me ! Thier a lot of people that think it's ok to cheat, lie & be ok with it I need your quidencce ! Move forward ! IAD

[morrison]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

Rocky, I love this line you typed, because this is exactly how I feel:

I know it is the triggers of life (stress: money, job, family, old mistakes, sins, failures and the reality of they're fruit) that cause me or move me to want a drink.

Ding ding ding. We have a winner. That is it in a nutshell. I find, personally, that keeping busy really helps. If I don't have the time to drink, I won't drink. Work nights are always easy for me. Well, not always, but they are easier that non work nights. I can't handle feeling like garbage at work anymore. The years have caught up. BUT, when I know I can lie in bed the next morning, the little demon on my shoulder gets a lot harder to ignore. So, I'm doing some other side work, but it isn't constant. I try to arrange things to do, but it's not the same. I almost feel like I need a personal assistant to punch me in the mouth if I get near alcohol. Hmmm. Maybe that's not a bad idea. I'm getting the phone book now. Like I'd be able to afford it. Oh well. Hang in there Rocky. Don't be down on yourself. Fact is, less people can mod than not. I would say the percentage heavily weighs in the favor of abs. I truly don't understand people that can mod, but I'm beyond the point of being envious. I just gotta except it.

[nancy]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

Go for the therapy

I think you should go for the therapy, whether you go AF or not.

Starlight mentioned stigma of psychotherapy, but i think that is a regional issue. Some of the counselors do know more about life and problems than we do and they have a distance from our problems.

I agree with the people who said try both sexes and see if you hit it off right away and don't waste time. Having unsuccessful therapy, feeling like the person doesn't get you,can be very depressing. :upset: Try to trust your gut about the therapist choice. I had an amazing therapist once and it changed my life. He was like Dr. House!

You need to learn how to soothe yourself some other way and learn to accept all of your feelings. It's hard work.

[julie001]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

Therapy can be very helpful if you hook up with a good therapist. One of the most valuable aspects is that you can be completely honest (like we are able to do here), and you will recognize that it feels wonderful to be doing somethng proactive for yourself. Good luck.

Julie

[Sweet Cheeks]

To Mod or to AF which is possible? if any?

I agree with Sujul Rocky, there are therapists which are good and bad; just hope you find a good one if you go that route.

My husband has suffered from depression for years and has only now found a therapist who is "unravelling these knots" as he says. Hopefully a good one can help you too, but what you have to remember is how far you've moved forward so far - sounds as if you're determined to succeed though and yes being honest is important - you're only cheating yourself if you don't come clean.

I too have had the same AF/moderation battle and I'm just going with the flow right now. As hubby's therapist says if you don't like it make some changes, however small and the small ones will all add up to make larger more impactful changes. By signing on here, that's a start and we can all get through this with each others support.

Good luck
Sweet