After 25 years I am leaving my husband

[rottrod]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

SK, I've noticed that something was up with you for a couple of weeks now. You've been making some bolder statements and asserting yourself more here in some threads and you've caught some flak for it but you've gotten a lot of support as well. I knew this was coming from somewhere, like something is stirring the pot in this woman. That same something will carry you through this.

You will have some tough times no doubt but you have friends here who think you are a terrific person and will always lend an ear or a shoulder. Plus you've got your faithful dog, what a blessing. Keep us up to date everyday. You will have a computer with you right?

My thoughts and prayers are with you,

Melissa

[gabby]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

SK, I too am coming off a 25 yr marriage with 3 sons. A lot of pain has happened yet I am so happy to be on my road away from the abuse.

One thing I am sorry for are the years I wasted hopeing for the change that never came.

So I am happy for my wisdom to finally come to terms with that knowledge - and my strength to make my own way which I am and will continue to be rewarded for.

SK....I feel confident that this is just begining of your rewards too. Be strong and breathe deeply and you will see them start to flow.

hugs...

[bird]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Sk,
Sorry you are hurting.I've been in relationship like that before and am so much better now to be out of it. There are lots of places to go with your dog. I've traveled all over and always take cat with me. Thinking of you. bird

[STARLIGHT]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

SK, my thoughts and prayers are with you. You are brave to be leaving a relationship that's not working anymore. I am in the same boat but, haven't gotten the courage to leave yet! I wish for you what you wish for yourself. Joy and happiness.
Love,
Starlight

[sujul]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

We have often noted that our alcohol addiction is like a bad, even abusive, relationship--maybe it might be helpful to reverse this idea and take in the fact that a bad relationship is like our addiction to alcohol. We keep hoping it will change, that it will get better, that it will be like it was at the beginning...and it can seem easier to remain in a situation which is familiar even though we are deeply unhappy there. But we also know that while it is painful to find a "way out"--it is also the most life-affirming act we can do for ourselves. It is the only way we can reclaim our true selves....

SKendall, Gabby, and everyone else looking to break free--you are an inspiration!

:l :l ~~

[sujul]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Posting at same time...

((((Starlight)))

:l :l

[Saint Jude]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Skendall, I'm wishing you peace, happiness, & strength...
My Grandma left my Grandpa after 54 years of marriage. She was a newlywed in her 70's! She swears it was some of the happiest years of her life... she's still going strong @ 99 years!
It's never too late to change & make improvements!
Best of luck to you & your doggie. You deserve to be happy & free...:h
:l Judie

[SKendall]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Thanks everyone. I just keep re-reading all of your wonderful messages and it really does help.

Hubby and I sat down this a.m. to chat. He doesn't want a divorce yet so we've agreed to call is a separation. I will have to apply for U.S. citizenship because if I stay in Canada longer than 180 days they will remove my green card and I will lose all pension and survivor benefits.

We live in such a remote area that if there were an accident here no one would find him or me, so I've asked him to call me every day just to let me know that he's alright. That made him smile. I also told him that if the anger goes away between us hopefully we will find our friendship again.

I will probably spend some time by the ocean this weekend and meditate.

Love you all.

Hilary:thanks: :h

[sammys]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Skendall, I am here for you and hope you feel better today.

Sammys

[MDBiker]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

My heart goes out to you and your husband. I don't know the particulars, but this is a very hard thing to do after 25 years. If he is physically abusing you, you must get away. But he should get some help. I wish you both the best.
God Bless

bear

[SKendall]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Hi again. No Bear, it's not physical abuse. Some mental - constant criticizm and isolation - all the power tools for a control freak.

I think he would find it easier if there was someone else in my life, but it's not just him. Hopefully we can remain good friends. He always said he didn't like my drinking habits, but he loved the control it gave him and was a regular saboteur of my sobriety.

[chrysa]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

SK..
Where do you live? Do you have kids? What do you do for $$? Just curious. No need to answer if you don't feel like it. Just wondering ..just thinking about you...that's all.

[happycamper68]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Hil,
Sounds like you are making a very sound decision. I wish you all the best and do respect you a lot for not trashing him on the site. I think sometimes we forget on our side of things the anguish we can cause others in our lives, I am sure you may have put him through the ringer as much as he did you. There isn't only one person at fault in a marriage, not usually anyway. But I am very happy that the rest of your life won't have you feeling stifled, angry, and controlled. I also hope you find a nice place for you and the doggie. :h

[hart]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

((((Skendall)))

I've always liked you. If you need a place to stay in the Pacific NW, write me. Laurah@Webband.com. I have had others stay. We have one dog who loves dogs and three cats, but we have an extra bedroom, A/C, Cable TV and and full basement if you want. My husband has let his friends stay and mine stay. Easy to get along with but we are both still drinking.

I remember when I left my husband and it was only 8 years. It was a very difficult time, friends and family can help.:l :l

[SKendall]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Hart, I hope you got my email, I'm interested.