After 25 years I am leaving my husband

[SKendall]

I just want to say that he and I have agreed to separate. I don't want to disrepect him here when he can't support himself. However, the longer I was sober and the less he was able to control me..... This left it to me. I want to leave,. I don't have a place where I can take my old pug mix. But I think I will do okay.

[sujul]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Dear SKendall--
I won't pretend to have the right words here, but please know that I'm thinking of you at what must be a difficult time to say the least... You have much courage to take this step for yourself and clearly know what you need to do to live your own life....you have my sympathy for the pain that brought you to this point and my heartfelt best wishes for the future you deserve.

Stay close--and let us support you in whatever ways we can--

((((Hugs)))) :l :l :l

[Determinatrix]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

SKendall,

I respect your desire to not disrespect your husband here. You must be a classy lady.

25 yrs is a long time! Go easy on yourself thru the transition.

Better times ahead,
Dx

[Beaches]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

SKendall,
My heart goes out to you. I know this has to be so hard for you. I don't really know what to say except that I am here for you and wish you the very best.

xoxoox

I also hope you end up in a place with your dog because that sounds really important too :h

[tawnyfrog]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

SK,

I know you will not have made this decision lightly. I wish you all things you wish for yourself.

Take good care.

[SKendall]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Thanks to all who have offered your support. Don't really know where to go. Probably my best bet is Texas, because they allow pets in apts. and Victoria doesn't. But, I love the Pacific Northwest and maybe will come back later.

[louise]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

SK - I'm sorry. Even though it was your decision and it sounds as it may be for the best, it is still painful after that many years. Especially to have to move far away. I will hold the thought that you and your dog are able to find a place to live someplace you love.

[imatree]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Hi SK... My heart goes out to you. I can't even imagine all the downs of letting go of such a long term relationship, and also what I hope you are also are experiencing as hopes for a new life after so much time with another.
A book comes to mind to recommend to you... "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. She's an American woman who, after her marriage fell apart and she thought she too was, discovered peace in Buddhism. Gaining benefit from the book definitely doesn't require you to become Buddhist, but just offers simple yet profound advice on how to grow into wisdom and peace while experiencing life's tougher trials.

I hope you do all you need to find support for your heart and mind.
Peace and love to you,
Sue

[SKendall]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Thanks to all, and Imatree, I've noted that book and the author. It's difficult right now, but I do lean to Buddhism. I am on my second glass of wine and a long term of abs. but will eat some chocolate now and not take it further.:thanks:

[SKendall]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

I am hurting.

[imatree]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Of course you are honey. Let yourself hurt.
You will grieve.
And you will live on.
And you will shine once more.
Read Pema.... I have a strong hunch you will resonate stongly with her. Where are you?? If you are near I'll drive right over and give you my copy.
sending you hugs....

[roxane]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

hi skendal

i feel for you, it will not have been an easy decision. you could have put it off longer, but you havent.

it will hurt and for a while yet, but, you know that it is the right thing and it will get better.

your dog will be important to you, so you are right to keep him/her with you.

i wish you all the best.

roxane

[SKendall]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Thanks so much. I have kept a studio apt. in Victoria, B.C. for the last 3 years to keep the marriage. It's gotten too expensive, so I had to give it up. We live in a very isolated area, no friends, etc. I have a lot of friends on island, but just realized the phone never rings here. So, I no longer have the apt. and don't know what to do. I really need to have my old dog with me.

[magic]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

Courage

You are very brave.
Give yourself a bit of time and you will know what to do.
You will gather strength as the days pass, I promise, and the woman you thought you had lost will find her way home to you.

You must trust me on this.

magic xx:hug:

[Bella]

After 25 years I am leaving my husband

SKendall I am very sorry things have not worked out between you and your husband. Becoming sober after years of abuse makes for a different, stronger person. Someone who now knows and trusts their own being. It is great that you can no longer be controlled by someone. You will get by and be alot happier. I wish you well and think how how very brave and sensible you are. Bella xxxx