Day from you know where

[Guest]

So yesterday was a really bad day for me. I ended up finding some documentation implying that my hubby was having some online affairs/flirtings and I completely flipped out. I was full of rage and anxiety and the like. I ended up drinking some vodka and some beer. But, despite how upset and devastated and riddled with anxiety I was, I actually didn't go overboard. It was like my body just wasen't really interested in drinking anymore past a few - and I drank a lot slower too than usual. I dont know if this is the supps actually kicking in or what but I am pleased (though I am not thrilled about myself drinking in the first place).
By the way, me and hubby had a long, tearful talk and APPARENTLY i misunderstood what I read....hmm....I will be keeping an eye on him. I guess online flirting etc. is better than the real thing?...anyways, I am giving him one more chance because he is the love of my life and is so good to me, generally.
Just thought I would share.
Luv you all
Jen

[Guest]

Day from you know where

That had to be extreamly stressful. I can see how it happened. YESSSSS.........Keep a very close eye on him. To bad there is the distrust now. Been there. G

[Guest]

Day from you know where

Sorry to hear that Jen, but good job on not over doing it with the booze.

Marcie

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Day from you know where

Hang in there Jen. We all stumble and fall. Good for you for not going overboard with the drinking. Hope you find that fine line between trust and caution with your love! If you are at all like me, watch for the aftershocks two or three days later. I usually handle myself okay in the crisis! Take care, and all the best!

Kathy

[Guest]

Day from you know where

Jen, I'm sorry. What I said is harsh. More about me than you I'm sure. The distrust just hit a nerve. sorry, gabby

[Guest]

Day from you know where

Gabby
Don't worry about it, I understand and I agree with what you said anyways.
Ladies - I have my eyes WIDE open, dont worry.
As for the 3-4 day aftershock - I know it well and I am preparing. Wish me luck!
Hugs to all,
Jen

[Guest]

Day from you know where

Ji Jenneh...
My heart goes out to you for what you discovered - I went through the EXACT same thing this past December. Unfortunately, I did not handle it as well as you, and my husband WAS in fact having an online affair. It is still devastating, and I went bolistic. I started shaking so bad and got so freaked out I thought I was having a complete nervous breakdown. I definitely turned to the booze, and didnt stop for days. It was the only way I knew to deal with the pain.

But here we are six months later, and I am happy to report that we have since been to counseling, and I think he was as mortified that I discovered it, as I was devastated. He took a leave of absence for the entire month of December (I discovered it on Dec 1st), and we just focused on reconciliation and tracing backwards as to where we go so off track. Like you, I love my husband very much and am giving it another chance, and he is doing all that he can to earn my trust back, but I can tell you that it takes a while to get over. I am not totally over it YET, but it gets easier with time.

Good for you for managing your drinking through all of that, and wise counsel to be on the lookout for triggers in your emotions that may set you off. If you ever want to talk, I've been there, done that and got the T-shirt.... And yes, you would be wise to keep an eye on him. I still do!

(EZ box me if you want)

Allie

[Guest]

Day from you know where

how do u do that? gab

[Guest]

Day from you know where

Hope it all works out for you Jen. Paula

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Day from you know where

Jen,
Allie and I connected with this from the get-go cuz of hubbies with the almost-but-didn't-so-it's-not-as-bad.... pseudo affair BS. Still stinks, girlfriend. Same as you, I guess what I found I "took wrong". We, too, have been through counselling now. He had blamed a lot on my drinking. Probably legitimately so. I'm not saying it was not problematic! Geesh. Anyhow, we have gotten to root causes, and long story short, things are much, much better now.
Aw, Jen, I'm sorry this happened, BUT I AM GLAD you found it. Do keep an eye out. I trust my husband now, I do. It's difficult when I trusted him BEFORE, though, then found evidence that there was something that was being carried on behind my back. Not going to live my life in fear or skepticism or this big pool of mistrust, but my eyes are wide open and not drowning in a pool of wine every night.8o Catch my drift, girlfriend?
Love ya, Jen. You take care and keep me posted. ez mail me too or email me if you want to talk. How is that topa thing going?
Becca

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Day from you know where

Thanks guys for your support. Wow, I guess this stuff (internet/real 'affair' - or almost?) happens a lot. It makes me sad. Anyways, it looks like I will be getting topa after all - my doctor is still researching it but it looks hopeful.
Here's to hoping!
Thanks again everyone for everything.
Jen.

[Guest]

Day from you know where

Hi jen,and all you other lovely people that this has touched also.Sorry to hear about your recent events,it is awfull when you think you know someone so well and it is all thrown up in the air.It is such an awfull shock.This recently happened to me nothing concrete just a letter i found,could have been something or nothing.Just wanted to ask and be reasured it was nothing,but no.Lots of confusing explanations never actually addressing the point.A little defencive also.I just could not do that(gutless)and you are right it makes you feel physically sick,and mentally- well.We are not the best of coping with pain at the best of times.So well done for being moderate.I was not as controlled.Sometimes fate works in mysterious ways i know for me it has been a revelation.the final straw, i can let go (lots of other issues) i dont like this person and they don't deserve me!! But for you maybe it will work the other way.I hope you find inner peace what ever.
Do not post that much but am always here when i can its been a life line
C XX