Help, why now??

[Kitty]

Dear all,

I'm on my 20th day af, and up to now I've felt really strong, but all of a sudden I feel my resolve weakening. My mom and her boyfriend are coming to visit tomorrow and I don't know if that's the reason I feel stressed or wether it is my drinking voice "telling" me I should be stressed.

I don't understand my feelings right now, I can't wait to see my mom and for her to see where I live ( I recently relocated and haven't seen her sice Christmas) but I'm so worried about the weekend. It is the first time my folks and my fiancee's folks have met and I am worried because of the temptation this weekend may bring. Have "drinks" at my future FIL's boat club tomorrow afternoon then a meal, plus Sunday lunch when no doubt the Vino will be flowing.

I kind of wish my mom wasn't coming but then I feel selfish because my folks really want to see me. I have avoided social occasions since trying af because I don't feel strong enough but I can't keep doing that forever.

There is an opened bottle of wine that my partner left tonight in the fridge and I really want to drink it, but then what?

God this is hard.

Kitty

[ducky]

Help, why now??

Gosh Kitty, it is hard. But don't look too far down the road. How about not drinking the bottle in the fridge and not drinking this w/e but not making any decisions past that? It's hard to say forever but maybe I will get through this w/e could work?

[rottrod]

Help, why now??

Kitty, the best thing you can do for yourself right now is to dump it out and end the stress for tonight.

Tomorrow will present new stress of it's own but you will be rested and hopefully stronger. I know you don't want to break your AF streak, but if you do it's just one day. Don't do it (drink)tonight because then tomorrow it will be easier. Whatever you do, enjoy the time with your mom and your future FIL. I don't remember if you are taking Kudzu and L-Glut but arm yourself now and tomorrow before you go.

You are a very strong person and whatever happens this weekend when she is gone you can be AF again if you fall down. You have done so well and we all certainly know how badly you want this.

Have a great time and don't work yourself up with worry. It's not helping anything.

Melissa

[Kitty]

Help, why now??

Thanks Rotrod and Ducky,

I just feel so helpless against this. My kitten Monty has only been here a week, but I think he knows something is wrong. He just hopped onto my chest to give me a snuggle and now I'm crying.

I hate this so much, I desperately want to be free of this.

I've been so proud of myself but now I am so low, I'm bloody fed up with this. Wish I could just have the "bad" side of my brain cut out!!

Kitty

[gracie29]

Help, why now??

I'm a newbie. However, after visiting my doc and the counselor supposedly I'm medicating myself with alcohol for some under lying reason and once I'm sober I'll begin to figure it all out. Not quite sure about that, however, after two months of therapy and embarking on this journey, two things come to mind that cause me anxiety - my job and my family primarily the mother figure. I love my mother and in some ways she's my best friend but she has so many expectations about life that I find myself in that same unrealistic world. Thoughts?

[YoungAtHeart]

Help, why now??

Hi Kitty,

Try and pour the wine down the sink, at least tonight. Tomorrow is another day. Does your bf know how much you are struggling?

Don't blame yourself for being anxious. This is a big occasion and of course you are nervous. Once upon a time, you would have dealt with the anxiety by drinking. Now you're trying to do it yourself. If you want, just tell us all here if there are any anxieties more than the drinking that are bugging you right now, and feel free to have a good cry!

Sometimes I have flashes of anger that just make me want to pop when I have a craving!

Take care, sweetie. We're here for you!

Hugs,:l
Kathy

[magic]

Help, why now??

Crap.............

Twenty days is three weeks. Three weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what I would do. Three weeks isn't very long to have been avoiding social situiations where there will be alcohol, but you can't hardly call in sick on this one can you?

See if you can turn off the little voice. Remove the wine from the fridge. Put it somewhere else, not so visable. Tell said voice to P**s off, you're busy with more important matters.

Make some strong coffee and eat chocolate. Really. Put your coffee in a travel mug and go for a walk.

Now think about how GOOD you will feel about yourself if you wake up in the morning with another AF day under your belt and how GREAT it will feel to see your mom that way.

Decide what to wear to the boat club, and let us all know, and think of how much more confident you will feel AF at the boat club with parents, even if you tell yourself that you WILL NOT have that drink until you are home and in bed. A trick I used to use. It worked. By the time I got home I was so damned pleased with myself I never did have the promised drink.

Ditto for Sunday. You will be so proud of yourself and so will we!

Yes, it's hard. But look forward. I never think about drinking now.

Life is good. And you have a long one to look forward to.

magic xx:schmokin:

[sujul]

Help, why now??

Kitty--

I have a "Monty" cat also! He and his "brother," Jasper were a tremendous comfort to me when I was getting abs--probably because they were also with me when I was so miserable before abs...they knew more about my despair than anyone else on earth...:l

Now, I'm not generally one to TELL someone what to do BUT....throw out the wine, ASAP! As a clever someone so vividly said recently, it will be calling to you from the fridge, drink me, drink me-- as long as it's there....Even after 15 mos abs I would not trust myself alone with an open bottle of wine in the fridge...or even an unopened bottle of wine, for that matter!

I know that this is tough but you are tougher! Drinking is not going to help this situation--it will only make it worse. I mean you want to be your best for this occasion so I would do as Magic and the others suggest, plan this out, give yourself non-alcoholic treats, promise yourself a drink after it's over....all sorts of little "tricks" that can only help you get through this....look, by Monday it will be over, right?

Keep checking in here--you can do this! And Magic's right--think how proud of yourself you will be--eyes on the prize, eyes on the prize!

:l :l :l

[lilaclover]

Help, why now??

I cheering for you Kitty ! (Remember that domino effect !!!) Hugs and good wishes coming your way !

[Kitty]

Help, why now??

Thank you all sooo much!

I'm so tired right now but I've poured the wine down the sink. It wasn't mine but my OH knows I'm trying. And Lilac I don't want to start those "dominos" toppling!

Found a sleeping tablet so hopefully I'll be asleep soon. Off to bed and I'll think about the weekend tomorrow.

I don't know what I'd do without you all.

Thanks,

Kitty

[sujul]

Help, why now??

:goodjob: --Sleep tight...this too shall pass--and it will be okay, because YOU are going to be okay... So proud of you!

[magic]

Help, why now??

Kitty

This is little Jemimah, a month old tomorrow.

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO PROUD as well. And Su is right, this to shall pass, it always does.

I am waiting to find out what you will be wearing to the boat (ship/boat, is there a difference?).

magic xx:yougo:

[memarcie]

Help, why now??

You are right Kitty, this is hard. Very hard.

I'm glad you poured out the wine and wish you good luck and strength this weekend.
:l
Marcie

[beatle]

Help, why now??

good going kitty.
(What is it with these Monty cats? I've got three of them.)
Anyway, we're all waiting to hear about the wkend.
good luck

[MDBiker]

Help, why now??

I don't know if it will help you kitty, but in similar situations I tell myself I am not driking because I want to make a better impression, not because I can't. When I am not drinking for a reason like this it is no different than when I didn't drink when I was a drunk. Does this make any sense? I wish you the best
bear