why is it that when u start to feel positive something very quickly grabs a hold a you an drags you back under?
that something i ve discovered is ME
yesterday after work i stupidly without even thinking grabbed a bottle a brandy an jumped on the bus, y y y , after all i said,
my bf only bought 16 beers, not the usual 36, BUT the sun was shining an all the locals were out in the beer garden, so we went pub,he said just 4 one an have a chat wiv em all, a nice social drink, id hid the brandy, from him,
i drunk my pint quick so had to get another, a lady i no was sat with the biggest bruise down her face an a bloodshot eye, we got chattin, i had 2 ask how, its not the first time i ve seen this on her, we got chatting an her husband dissapeard, she got cramp in her foot an fell on the banisters, MY ARSE the bruise was in the wrong place,
i think seeing her bought bk so many memories an really riled me up,
only had 2 in the pub but bf sensed id had more, he is learning, he asked if id had brandy, damm he s gettin good, its a blessing but i felt so ashamed,
ALSO i had 2 much money left, because i owe on a bill , i just keep forgetting, i told him this an give him my money an then
BOOO HOOOO BOOO HOOOO, i was off crying my eyes out sobbing y do u want me im fxxxing useless, im a bad bad mum u know the story,
i think now he really knows i need locking up, an cant b trusted cos my free will is so weak an feeble i cant even go in a supermarket without buyin brandy, i feel so stupid,
i fell asleep curled up on my bf, woke up an drunk beer fell asleep again, woke up soaked, id poured a whole can over my self in my sleep,
good job we got a leather sofa, it hasent stained, been drying it out this morning,
im not gonna beat myself to much, i just know i really need to speak to this counceller an get detoxed quick, I DONT WANT TO BE THIS USELESS PERSON, so y y y am i drinking brandy in my coffee now, cos i got work in a min an need to feel normal, what a waste of my life, BUT im not to down, im gonna go town, 4 LL glut an poss kuzudu if they sell it, im still trying xxxx
that something i ve discovered is ME
yesterday after work i stupidly without even thinking grabbed a bottle a brandy an jumped on the bus, y y y , after all i said,
my bf only bought 16 beers, not the usual 36, BUT the sun was shining an all the locals were out in the beer garden, so we went pub,he said just 4 one an have a chat wiv em all, a nice social drink, id hid the brandy, from him,
i drunk my pint quick so had to get another, a lady i no was sat with the biggest bruise down her face an a bloodshot eye, we got chattin, i had 2 ask how, its not the first time i ve seen this on her, we got chatting an her husband dissapeard, she got cramp in her foot an fell on the banisters, MY ARSE the bruise was in the wrong place,
i think seeing her bought bk so many memories an really riled me up,
only had 2 in the pub but bf sensed id had more, he is learning, he asked if id had brandy, damm he s gettin good, its a blessing but i felt so ashamed,
ALSO i had 2 much money left, because i owe on a bill , i just keep forgetting, i told him this an give him my money an then
BOOO HOOOO BOOO HOOOO, i was off crying my eyes out sobbing y do u want me im fxxxing useless, im a bad bad mum u know the story,
i think now he really knows i need locking up, an cant b trusted cos my free will is so weak an feeble i cant even go in a supermarket without buyin brandy, i feel so stupid,
i fell asleep curled up on my bf, woke up an drunk beer fell asleep again, woke up soaked, id poured a whole can over my self in my sleep,
good job we got a leather sofa, it hasent stained, been drying it out this morning,
im not gonna beat myself to much, i just know i really need to speak to this counceller an get detoxed quick, I DONT WANT TO BE THIS USELESS PERSON, so y y y am i drinking brandy in my coffee now, cos i got work in a min an need to feel normal, what a waste of my life, BUT im not to down, im gonna go town, 4 LL glut an poss kuzudu if they sell it, im still trying xxxx
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