Wedding to go to....

[sujul]

I could use some support please!

Tomorrow I'm attending a huge, fancy wedding where the alcohol will be flowing freely, there will be lots and lots of champagne and.....

This is the first really big social event with lots of drinking that I have been to in the more than a year since I became abs and I realize I'm just a little stressed about it....

And there are all sorts of "issues"--

1) I hate getting all dressed up in heels, panyhose, semi-formal dress....

2) The wedding couple and many of the guests are members of a congregation that we recently left for another church/denomination...so there will be all sorts of questions about that....

3) There will be a couple there who we had a falling out with last year...we used to be really good friends and then we had a major disagreement and now we don't see each other anymore--actually I think it had more to do with the fact that we all used to drink a lot of wine and now I don't....

4) The minister who will be performing part of the ceremony (it's an interfaith wedding) is our former minister who took it a little personally when we left...

5) Just driving there is a nightmare since I have to navigate a maze of highways, tunnels, bridges, etc....I am not at all familar with the route and it's the type of situation that if you go wrong it's impossible to figure out how to get back...

6) No one will be trying to get me to drink because most of this crowd was very suppportive when I went to rehab last year...but sometimes it's uncomfortable knowing that people are being "careful" around you...plus, I usually try to avoid situations where I feel very aware that I am not drinking....

7) There will likely be waiters floating about with lovely chilled glasses of champagne....

There is no possibility of not going because the wedding pair credit me with getting them together and then helping them work through some relationship issues....plus, I WANT to celebrate this with them!

I'm sure I'm making more out of this than I need....and I'm trying to focus on good stuff like the fact that I have a great dress and fabulous shoes and since I've seen many of these people I have remained sober, lost 30 lbs and graduated from seminary!

But if you could just send a few words of encouragement in my direction I would so appreciate it....

xx

[ScoobyDoo]

Wedding to go to....

Oh wow Su... I'd be feeling stressed too. That's a tall order and understandable!

OK... I always think things always turn out a lot differently to how we imagine they might. So I think you'll probably be really pleasantly suprised at how it actually turns out by tomorrow night.

Another thing you could do, is tonight, do a meditation, and imagine yourself at the wedding, feeling calm and in control. Deep breathing and relaxed and enjoying.

another tool you could whip out tomorrow is when the waiters walk past with those glasses of poison (Do I sound like Allan Carr or what?!) you can gently remind yourself that in the morning you will be one of few who will be waking up feeling fan-bloody-tastic. How about you plan a lovely morning brunch for yourself... really spoil yourself.

I'll keep thinking and post some more ideas...

Scoobs

[ScoobyDoo]

Wedding to go to....

PS I mean a morning brunch for the morning after the wedding. as opposed to the morning of the wedding. Just thought I'd better clarify or you'd think I was giving weirdo advice. :H

[memarcie]

Wedding to go to....

Sujul, you are a strong woman and you will make it through tomorrow just fine.

Hang in there!

[lucky 2.0]

Wedding to go to....

I think Scooby's suggestion of visualization of you being peaceful and in control and happy with your choice to remain alcohol-free is very important. Remember how proud you feel for your accomplishments- graduating seminary is no easy task, nor is losing 30 lbs.

You will be fine sojul.

EDIT: I keep forgeting my avatar is a sexy man's butt. I hope you are not offended. It is a long story. You can ask irish about it! It will be different on Monday, I promise. He is pretty hot though, don't you think? LOL

[sujul]

Wedding to go to....

You guys rock! Thanks! I'll definitely be visualizing...just as soon as I've finished this gigantic bowl of my latest treat: Edy's Vanillla Bean No Sugar Added Slow Churned Ice Cream--minimal calories, very yummy!

[magic]

Wedding to go to....

Hi Su,

Do you know of Mapquest?

MapQuest: Driving Directions

It will give you specific directions there and back although I used it to get to a funeral on Thursday and one of the streets it sent me on was a bike trail!

Otherwise it was great.

I agree with the others, you will be fine, anticipation is always the worst.

Remember your wonderful accomplishments and be your intelligent and gracious self.

magic xx :schmokin:

[Waves 2]

Wedding to go to....

Hi Sujul,
I love your avatar.

I can fully understand your thoughts on the wedding. However, things are usually worse in our worried state than in reality. Also, people don't usually choose a wedding to start an old argument up. There will be lots of other people there to take the attention away from you although the fact that you look so much better is bound to attract some.

On a practical note. I would make sure you have some water available. Like you say, the waiters will be wandering around with champagne but not with water. Also in my experience, in some places they don't rush to bring you water when you ask.

Good luck and enjoy the wedding.

[tawnyfrog]

Wedding to go to....

Hey - my experience with weddings ... there's usually a drunk uncle to take care of the 'attention' factor ...


Relax and enjoy.

[Guest]

Wedding to go to....

Hi sujul,
Sorry to hear going to this wedding is causing you concern. I think a wedding is very much that type of occasion though, where people are brought together who may not have seen each other for a long time, and all too often, people who have had a disagreement are having to be in the same place also. There will be other people attending the same wedding, with similar concerns.

I think you should focus your mind on how you really want to go to this wedding to celebrate with the happy couple, since you`ve had a hand in helping this wedding to take place.

Whenever in a situation like this in the past, I`ve generally found that most of the worries I obsessed about didn`t actually come to pass on the big day, as people were so wrapped up in congratulating the happy couple, parents etc. However, I always believe it`s better to have a couple of answers prepared..........just in case..........like for the couple whose church you no longer attend...........if you`ve prepared an answer in advance, it will save you any embarassment and prevent you becoming flustered, which would see many people headed right for the champagne. If you have a couple of answers at the ready, you`re more likely to keep your cool..........

I think if you mentally prepare yourself, you`ll do splendidly. You`ve come too far to let the tension of a social gathering cause you to throw it all away. And you`ve lost over 2 stones............you`ll look stunning in your wedding attire.

Lovely as it may be, remember, it`s just a wedding, and your sobriety is every bit as important to you and your loved ones.

I wish you well for the big day.

Much love,

Starlight Impress

[sujul]

Wedding to go to....

Thank you, lovely people, for your help! I've done the Mapquest thing (and backed it up with Yahoo) and I've visualized myself cool and collected...the thing is no one will suspect that I'm a little anxious--I am far too adept at putting on a facade that looks like I have it all "together" even when I don't..... I have also worked up some capsule respones to all the questions about our switching denominations (the majority of the folks there AND the minister are members of our former church--it has been quite a big deal that we left....).

So, thank you all--here goes! I'll report back on all incidents of drunken uncles, etc. later on....

((((scoobs, marcie, lucky, magic, tawny, waves, starlight))))

xxx

[louise]

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You will be calm and collected, enjoy seeing old friends who now wish you well in your choices, plus you will manage to have a great time celebrating with your friends and the waiters are just so happy to bring you sparkling water!

[southernbelle47]

Wedding to go to....

Hey guys....what's with all the "butt" avitars???

Su......
Changing churches is a personal thing between you and your God....Let Him take care of the rest...
Just telll them that Your prayed about it and for "this season" in your life you feel led to "branch out"....or "go out" ...whatever language they understand up there...

You go girl....
Can't wait to hear the stories.

Nancy:h

[sujul]

Wedding to go to....

(((((Louise and Nancy))))

Okay, I'm REALLY going to tear myself away from here and get ready....I feel good about this--thanks!

Update later on!

[lucky 2.0]

Wedding to go to....

Hi Belle and others,

I have to explain the butt avatar thing because many of you are wondering. The crazy irish cat thought it would be funny to greet lushy back from her trip with everyone having butt avatars and we blindly followed the suggestion and have had fun with it. This happened on the subsciber thread so I thought I would mention it here in general for 2 reasons:

1. You understand why butts are taking over the boards
2. You can get a butt avatar for our dear lushy also

Don't ask me why. Seemed like a good idea. The butts will be gone Monday and I am sorry if any are offended. I am waiting for RJ to ban me for mine but he is HOT!

OK, back to Sojul's success @ the wedding!