girfriends

[Lucy Van Pelt]

OK
maybe I am alone in this...

My whole life my closest confedents have always been my best girl friends. I have always had one, or two. Some women think that women who drink have problems with women..well, I don't, I love my women friends, they are the air I breathe.

My thing is, I have lost some of my closest friends over years, not due to dissention, just due to changes in life, and I have a hard time with that. When I become close with someone, over time, i have a hard time undersanding the friendship falling away, because it becomes less convinenient. I have come to realize that this is what happens...I don't like it.

I am am outgoing, decent looking sociable woman, don't get me wrong. I just don't like giving up the connection that good friends make. Ok...that is my thoughts tonight...

Any opinions??

[Waves 2]

girfriends

I have lost touch with two friends that I never thought I would lose touch with because we were so close and when we do meet up now somehow it's not the same.

On the other hand, two friends who moved away from the area came back to see me a little while ago and it was just as if they had never left, we just got on as if we had seen each other yesterday.

I am not sure why this happens. Possibly, I think, as the children get older and go to different schools, and you get jobs which keep you busy it's harder to spend as much time together so your relationship changes and you can drift apart whereas if people move away the relationship is sort of frozen in time so it just quickly melts back into the same feeling when you do meet up again.

[lucky 2.0]

girfriends

it is not good or bad but- life changes. my zen advise is: do not become too attached to anything or anyone

[tryingsohard]

girfriends

my motto has always been if u cant trust your own mum, who can u trust!!

not a good 1 but very true, the last 10 yrs i ve not relied on any 1, cos when people take it away u r stranded,,

ok look where thats got me,

i had a best friend at school, we were so close the loss was enormous when we fell out, i dont sem 2 off been able to have a proper best frien since then,

over yrs i must of become more secretive or something,

i do not have 1 gf i can call to meet up it s quite sad really, i have pushed every1 away, saves the hurt later i guess, but now im jus lonely, but i guess i dont really have the time,

[STARLIGHT]

girfriends

Hi tringsohard,

I know just how you feel! Most of the time I feel lonely and isolated in my circumtances at this moment. But, I also realzie I am the only one who can make a change in my life. My love and happiness is up to me. I wish you strentgh and happiness, as I do for all of us.

Love,
Angel

[Bella]

girfriends

Its hard to loose a friend or two. Like you Bak, my friends are the air I breathe. I am much, much closer to my friends than I am to my sister or my mum. I can be totally myself with my friends. But earlier on in the year I lost a great friendship because her husband made a big pass at me and she sided with him. She believed me but because she has small kids she had to stay with him. Fair enough. But now, he won't let her see me anymore. He denied everything and rules her with a rod of iron. I was and still am so sad because we were close. I miss her. I have another friend who I have known for 20 years. She now lives 200 miles away, but we are still best friends and see eachother at least 10 times a year and talk on the phone every other day. The distance has made no difference to our friendship. If I did not have a close friend I would be so lonely. I think circumstances can either keep a friendship going or break it. Bella xx

[hart]

girfriends

I totally understand. I have friends I used to be close with but due to changed circumstances are what I call, X-mas card friends. Only at X-mas do I hear what's been happening with them, and them me, for the most part. I have friends that moved across the country but I speak via e-mail and a once in a while phone call that when I do see, it's as if we were never apart. I have office friends I love but never socialize with outside the office.

My best friends if my cousin and she lives 250 miles away. When I see her we ALWAYS have a great time, she is like a sister.

I don't know how I would live w/o humans. Though I can imerse myself in books and I dearly luv my husband.

Sorry. :hijacked: You were saying......:H

[lushy]

girfriends

Hart, that is so true about how we end up becoming Christmas card friends. That has happened to so many people in my life as well. I think it is part of the cycle of life and change. I am always envious of people who have a group of friends that they have had since 2nd grade and wonder how they do it. Life just gets too busy as we get older.

[Guest]

girfriends

I really, don't have any friends. I have the Christmas card friend, where we speak once a year at best. Then I have then friend who usually only comes around if she needs something I.E. decorating advice. I do have 2 MWO friends that I talk to via telephone. But noone that I can just go to lunch with or have silly girl talk. It does get lonely. Women for some reason tend not to like me, for the life of me I have tried to forge friendships but to no avail. I have wondered sometimes if it was the loneliness that helped contribute to the drinking problem. That's why I own dogs I guess, they have no choice but to be my friends.
Smiles
Mar

[Guest]

girfriends

I could not get through life without my girlfriends. I have one girlfriend that has been through everything with me...she was even in the delivery room when my son was born because his Daddy was working out of town. I was in her wedding, we have been friends for 15+ years. She lives in Florida and we see each other once a year...
Then there is my good friend here...oh Lord have we been through it. She has been my rock. Through all the drunk times...she does not drink...she has come and got me out of the woods when I was crying and having breakdowns at Billy tree, we stole his ashes together, she came and got me when I ripped all the IV's out and left the hospital....she did Billy's eulogy for me at his funeral. These two ladies are my sisters, we have shared more in life than many families.

[diamond]

girfriends

I tend to make friends with 'needy' people, i think because i feel i am not good enough to have people who are independent and can 'do their own thing'.

I have to be the one that goes to hospital apointments with them, drive them around, lend them money.

the trouble is - after a few years i get fed up of them sponging off me and i break away, ending up with a succession of friends - each one similar to the last.

me, I am - fed up and poorer in pocket and emotions, i know i do it but i can't seem to help myself.

Any clues??

[imatree]

girfriends

Oh Simeybear, as I started reading this thread I figured I wouldn't contribute and would just be an envious onlooker... as I too don't have any friends. I had two close girlfriends a few years ago - one was my drinking pal, damn could we put down some wine! But she moved away and we don't keep in touch now, I think for me largely because I need to disconnect from 'drinking buddy', also other stuff there... And the other one, we used to be housemates, but she's kind of a nut job, has hurt me much over the years. Even just a couple weeks ago. I'd totally write her off if our kids were not close.

Anyway - I have hope that all will change as I continue on this healing track. I know the primary reason I don't have friends - I honestly feel inferior to all my peers. Always have, ever since I was a kid. Since being a mom, and an alcoholic mom at that, it's been worse. So I"m hopeful that as I discover who I am without the booze I'll be able to gain confidence and take that out into the world and make some connections.

Because quite frankly, I'm tired of being lonely.

[amethyst]

girfriends

Simey and Ima and all the others-it's funny but it never occured to me till reading your post Simey that my drinking picked up significantly after I fell out of touch with my friends. We moved to a new area, didn't know anyone, but made good, fast friends quickly that lasted for 4 plus years. Then suddenly 2 of the 3 moved away, and family problems consumed the other (and me). My hubby travels-LOTS for business, and I am alone far more often than I am with someone. It's funny that I never connected that before! Since hubby is away so much it is hard to get out with people I meet now(since I have kids at home). I have friends now, but rarely get to go out or phone chat with them. Hummm. Interesting new line of thought coming in....

[sammys]

girfriends

It is an adjustment for me also when a friend either moves or because of different life changes like for instance my one friend started her family at the same time I was going into business. I was always working as she of course was doing baby and kid things. But all in all I have to say that we are still very good friends although we are not in touch much. I feel the same love for them all and when we do run into each other at times it is always so great.

Sammys others who I have associated with in the past and did not stay friends with were not worth my friendship

Sammys

[Beaches]

girfriends

I have 2 friends here that I have had since grade school. We meet out once a month however lately there has been a shift. We are supposed to go on a "girls weekend" in Aug which I thought would be just the three of us. However it turns out they are calling in lots of other people from their college days, who I don't know and my one girlfriend couldn't talk to me on the phone because her husband was there.

That sends up a flag for me that this is something I don't want to be involved with and I am hurt. I wanted it just to be us. But they are not at that place. I am working so hard on getting my drinking under control and they think getting plastered is hilarious. I am at a crossroads myself.