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    Need some reassurance

    Hello All
    Well, I was doing quite well, so I thought. Trying to moderate....well, this weekend I really messed up. On Friday night I had waaay too much. On Saturday night I wasen't as bad - actually I was proud of myself because I had a few drinks and left the bar (where my friends were quite enebriated) and went home at a reasonable time, and I was fine. In fact, the hubby was really proud of me. Yesterday though, a good friend of mine (and a drinking buddy) invited me downtown. I KNEW going downtown to see him would involve alcohol but convinced myself it would "be ok". I would just have a couple. Well, a couple turned into a few and the few turned into that desperate urge to have more. Last night I went to my parents' house for dinner. I found a bottle of red wine and drank from it throughout the evening (they didn't know though I called my mother - who is a problem drinker too) and confessed. This morning I felt terrible and didnt make it into work until 10:00.
    I am very upset with myself. It appears that mod is not oging to work for me and I think I will have to do the abs thing. I am so terrified. SO terrified.
    I need some reassurance that this program will work for me. Can people who are doing abs perhaps give me some reassurance? Not a huge long story - I dont want anyone to be inconvenienced - but perhaps a small blurb about what you are taking, what you are doing, how hard has it been etc.?
    I also worry because most of my friends are real drinkers. I might have to separate myself from them for a while while I do this.
    I am so sad. Please help!
    Thanks all
    Jen|I

    #2
    Need some reassurance

    Hi, Jen. I'm fairly new and I still am having a hard time. Cannot get beyond four days ... jeez. Still I get up and keep trying to make it through five days. Today I have to go see my doc about my physical last week - seems I have high cholesterol. I posted but no one responded. Had hoped to get some feedback, myself, so I understand you need someone to talk to.

    I bought (downloaded) the book, taking the supps and vitamins. I am not doing the Campral or Topa because I am already on xanax. I have anxiety, anyway.

    I too have "separated" myself from drinking buddies. For me, mod is not the answer. I KNOW in my heart it is abs. I'm working hard to get there. My partner is also a heavy drinker/alcoholic (whatever one wants to call me - to me, it's about the same - if we have a problem getting off the booze then I personally think alcoholic but that is just MHO).

    At least he is doing the program with me. But as I said, we slip up. Keep getting back on the wagon.
    Hugs
    Cathy

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      #3
      Need some reassurance

      need some reassurance

      Hi Jen & Cathy - thanks Cathy for the nice words this morning. It looks like none of us are alone in this struggle. Jen, I had a very very bad weekend too! I actually called in sick this morning bad,bad....

      These boards are really helpful in knowing we are not alone. It is only 9:00 am here but am reading the paper - did not do that all weekend as I was drunk and getting a few things done around here.

      Peb

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        #4
        Need some reassurance

        Re: need some reassurance

        I almost called in sick myself this morning. I am praying that I can do this.
        Thanks for your replies you guys.
        all support and help is always appreciated.
        Hugs
        Jen

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          #5
          Need some reassurance

          Re: need some reassurance

          I can completely relate coming off a bad weekend myself. Would give anything to crawl back into bed and sleep off this hangover/hatred I have for myself today. I have no excuses, only hope that this week will be better. Good luck to all of you as well!!

          Comment


            #6
            Need some reassurance

            Re: need some reassurance

            Hi Jen-
            I can completely relate. I was so proud of myself last week but lost it over the weekend. I know abs is what I need to do but can't quite seem to get there. I also wanted to call into work this morning but forced myself to "pay the price" and come in. Hang in there and hopefully we will all make it!!
            Julie J.

            Comment


              #7
              Need some reassurance

              Re: need some reassurance

              Kate
              Thank you for your reply. You have given me inspiration (as well as everyone else here in the program - you guys are all fantastic). Here is to Day 2 of abs! (I know, not long, but I am feeling good and strong and hopeful).
              Cheers everyone
              Jen

              Comment


                #8
                Need some reassurance

                Re: need some reassurance

                Jen, Ohhh maaaaaaan can I relate to you! Many many years of desperately trying to moderate my drinking. Sometimes I'd go completely on the wagon. No booze at all. After a while... maybe a week, a month, 3 months and once even 4 years... I'd think OK. I've got this under control. I'll just have a couple of drinks and be done with it. HA! Every single time I tried, it'd end up the same... weeks or even months of drinking would just dissapear before I even realized I was out of control... again. So, I'm seeking abstinance.

                I'm new to MWO. Just my 8th day of abs. today... But I'm LOVING it so far. This is by far the best quitting experience I've had. Hardly any cravings, I'm actually sleeping like a normal person and my body feels sooooooo good.

                People here tell me that if you do exactly what the book says to do (and it's pretty simple...really), that it WILL work.

                So here's what I'm doing:
                *Taking the All In One and supplements in the exact doses and times recommended in the directions. I'm making myself eat (tying to make healthy choices) so I can take the sups between meals as directed and drinking lots of water.
                *I just started ... UGH... excersizing yesterday. The book says only 3 times per week for 20 minutes.
                *Just ordered the abstinance cd's and will start those as directed, once they arrive.

                That's it. I'm not doing the topa at this point as I'm not really having cravings, which amases me, but will keep an open mind to it should that change for me.

                Wishing you the best, Jen. If you bring your determination and resolve along for the ride, you can do this!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Need some reassurance

                  hi jen, im having the same wobbles right now and i only just started im on day 4, 3 days without wine but ive had an awful day, emotional turmoil and my brain has clicked back into drinking mode. maybe tomorrow the hang over will flick the switch back again? what matters is that i refuse to give up, even when i have a speed wobble. i WILL learn to deal with emotional problems without opening a bottle of wine. keep your spirits up and dont see it as a defeat, just a test on your resolve.


                  xxx
                  clare

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Need some reassurance

                    I'm with Clare - I cannot get beyond day four - yet. But I keep trying. You can, too. Hang in there! Best Cathy

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Need some reassurance

                      ok. Here it goes...
                      After way too many years of not wanting to believe it, I have come to the conclusion that I cannot drink "moderately". I don't drink to be social. I drink for the effect, It is way too important to me, and I can stop at one or two once and awhile, but not without wishing I had more. So the sad truth is I have to accept abstinance. Getting there is the difficult part. For me, I have found Topamax to be an invaluable tool. It has truly made alcohol not very interesting, and if I do drink, it doesn't do anything for me (sadly to say, in a way). so, I am able to abstain, without much struggle, which is helping me to break the daily habit. I don't hang with drinkers or have it as part of my social life so that part will hopefully be easy. We will see. But I recommend Topa as a means to get and stay sober.

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