Hi Everyone.
I read a post that was sent a while ago. It was a post that upset some people. It got me thinking. I just wanted to write what is on my mind. Bear with me.
We are all a mixed bunch of people from all walks of life and we come together on this forum to gain and give.....so much. I have been coming here for 5 months now. I feel like its been more like 5 years as I have been through so much during this time. I tend to log on every morning and have a read. Its almost like the ritual of going through the daily papers, but 10000 times more private of course! Someone here said they find it depressing. But, I think Starlight Impress has it right. You take what you need and leave the rest. An excellent way of looking at it.
Every morning, I come here in yet another different frame of mind. If I happen to feel good I might only tune into the "laughing out loud" posts. If I'm feeling down, I might search for a story that I can relate to and try to find something that makes me feel better or something that I can sit and feel miserable with! Because I might need a good cry! My mood at the time dictates what and where I go to on the site. When I first joined, I needed and craved help, and advice. I needed a friendly ear, desperately. I got it. As the months moved on, I was very up and down ...I needed reassurance that I wasn't "A Mad Drunk"!!! ( sorry- referring sarcastically to an old post!!!) I got that reassurance.
As time went on- I felt strong enough to advise others on my thoughts, ideas etc, on how to get through this horrible drink problem- alive! Recovery for me means also helping others and sharing experiences. This forum is an amazing place because we look for what we need at the time. If we ask , we get.
But.. there is one point that I really want to stress... and that is......YES, we are a sensitive bunch. We are all at varying stages of this "thing". You might want to call it alcoholism, drink problem, disease, whatever--- But would'nt anyone be sensitive after what we all go through and struggle with every waking minute of our day? I am high on that sensitive list. I am on a difficult journey to sobriety; often painful, sometimes fantastic...and I would not wish this on my worst enemy. In a way, my life has got harder since i decided to stop drinking. I can't bury my head in the sand anymore. I can't hide. I, as an alcoholic always find it a bugger to like myself. I have spent so many years dripping with alcohol, despising my actions, my mind, my being. Through all my soul-searching I have become more sensitive generally, good or bad, I don't know. But what I do know is....its great to come here and hear nice things said to me. Kind people who care and want to genuinly help. That is what we all need after so much abuse we give ourselves from drinking. Don't you think? So if being vulnerable gets us better, then bring it on. I think everyone has something to offer. But words can be mis-interpreted and its easy to upset us! In the past, - I have found myself getting upset because I thought no one liked me here- I wasn't in with 'the click'. But then I took a step back and realised there is no click. Its all in my mind.
Anyway, if you have got to this part of my post, you deserve a medal! Thanks for listening to me. and Thanks for being there for me.
Bella xxx
I read a post that was sent a while ago. It was a post that upset some people. It got me thinking. I just wanted to write what is on my mind. Bear with me.
We are all a mixed bunch of people from all walks of life and we come together on this forum to gain and give.....so much. I have been coming here for 5 months now. I feel like its been more like 5 years as I have been through so much during this time. I tend to log on every morning and have a read. Its almost like the ritual of going through the daily papers, but 10000 times more private of course! Someone here said they find it depressing. But, I think Starlight Impress has it right. You take what you need and leave the rest. An excellent way of looking at it.
Every morning, I come here in yet another different frame of mind. If I happen to feel good I might only tune into the "laughing out loud" posts. If I'm feeling down, I might search for a story that I can relate to and try to find something that makes me feel better or something that I can sit and feel miserable with! Because I might need a good cry! My mood at the time dictates what and where I go to on the site. When I first joined, I needed and craved help, and advice. I needed a friendly ear, desperately. I got it. As the months moved on, I was very up and down ...I needed reassurance that I wasn't "A Mad Drunk"!!! ( sorry- referring sarcastically to an old post!!!) I got that reassurance.
As time went on- I felt strong enough to advise others on my thoughts, ideas etc, on how to get through this horrible drink problem- alive! Recovery for me means also helping others and sharing experiences. This forum is an amazing place because we look for what we need at the time. If we ask , we get.
But.. there is one point that I really want to stress... and that is......YES, we are a sensitive bunch. We are all at varying stages of this "thing". You might want to call it alcoholism, drink problem, disease, whatever--- But would'nt anyone be sensitive after what we all go through and struggle with every waking minute of our day? I am high on that sensitive list. I am on a difficult journey to sobriety; often painful, sometimes fantastic...and I would not wish this on my worst enemy. In a way, my life has got harder since i decided to stop drinking. I can't bury my head in the sand anymore. I can't hide. I, as an alcoholic always find it a bugger to like myself. I have spent so many years dripping with alcohol, despising my actions, my mind, my being. Through all my soul-searching I have become more sensitive generally, good or bad, I don't know. But what I do know is....its great to come here and hear nice things said to me. Kind people who care and want to genuinly help. That is what we all need after so much abuse we give ourselves from drinking. Don't you think? So if being vulnerable gets us better, then bring it on. I think everyone has something to offer. But words can be mis-interpreted and its easy to upset us! In the past, - I have found myself getting upset because I thought no one liked me here- I wasn't in with 'the click'. But then I took a step back and realised there is no click. Its all in my mind.
Anyway, if you have got to this part of my post, you deserve a medal! Thanks for listening to me. and Thanks for being there for me.
Bella xxx
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