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**42cat** · July 16, 2007, 07:05 AM

Am I over-reacting?

That was a totally mean thing for your mother-in-law to say, in my opinion. I can't imagine saying that to someone else! OMG.

I am overweight myself (lost 75 lbs last year, and 50 more to go - hard pounds to lose, mostly because of drinking ... *sigh*) ..... My daughter has a couple of bigger friends as well, and I have a few big friends. I just can't imagine saying something like that. What goes through a person's head to think that that's OK to say?!

People are different sizes for lots of different reasons... some of them personal/private reasons, some of them it doesn't matter so much ... but how dare anyone call that into a conversation like that?

It was totally inappropriate and uncalled for. In my humble opinion.

Hope you had a good time despite that!

~Catt

**Guest** · July 16, 2007, 07:10 AM

Am I over-reacting?

Mother in law is a bitch! What a horrible thing to say. I'd probably would have said Yes I can loose the weight, but unfortunaly you'll always be ugly. I'm mean like that! So sorry lotus you had to take that hit. totally wrong
Hugs
Mar

**Cinders** · July 16, 2007, 07:13 AM

Am I over-reacting?

It was incredibly Rude

She is a battle axe.

You are not overreacting.

Big hugs from someone who has been very large and knows how family can hurt.

Cindi

**Keepon!!!!** · July 16, 2007, 07:16 AM

Am I over-reacting?

Hi Lotus

Your mother in law is a biatccccccchhhhh........how dare she that is out of order......what did your partner say about this????......my ex boyfriends mother always put me down in everyway......she used to whisper about me in the kitchen with my boyfriend......when i waz overweight she critized me....when i exercised and lost the weight she said I was toooo skinny you carnt win with them....anyway chin up and smile.....luv Keepon:h

**betty boop** · July 16, 2007, 07:20 AM

Am I over-reacting?

Aaah Lotus love, how awful ......

She is a terrible person, how hurtful ...

Love & Hugs, BB xx:h :l :h :l

**Lotus** · July 16, 2007, 07:26 AM

Am I over-reacting?

Thank you all

I did mention it to my husband but he was like "oh you know mum". Typical response from someone who doesn't want to confront his mother!! That's why I thought I was over-reacting about the comment. Husband said something like "water off a duck's back".

Sometimes, people can be so hurtful......No I will not use this as excuse to drink tonight! LOL

**Mackeral** · July 16, 2007, 07:26 AM

Am I over-reacting?

I can't beleive some people can be that nasty on purpose..I think some people don't realise how nasty they are being...Being the better person though i find it's always better not to stoop to some peoples level...When someone is nasty to me i find being extra nice back to them makes them feel really guilty...Or...If that does'nt work go get a big stick out the garden and beat some manners into the bitch...

**Cherry** · July 16, 2007, 07:35 AM

Am I over-reacting?

Your not overreacting sweetheart don't allow this women to undermine your love and belief in yourself. She obviously has her own issues to be so rude, cruel and judgemental. People like that are usually miserable beneath it all and end up very lonely.

I've had my share of problems when I was married with my mother in law and looking back now, I would disregard her opinion altogether and do what was right for me and my husband - me first. If you sacrifice yourself and allow her to get to you and make you unhappy she has won. Who gives a toss what she thinks, there's alot better people in world who I'm sure think your wonderful and special.

**Lotus** · July 16, 2007, 07:40 AM

Am I over-reacting?

Thanks Cherry

BTW you're new to this site?

**YoungAtHeart** · July 16, 2007, 07:47 AM

Am I over-reacting?

Well, you MIL's cousin wasn't exactly bringing up a neutral topic, either, now, hmmm.....now she's not so nice either....complicated family you've married into, Lotus. And yes, MIL seems like quite an undermining b*tch. Too bad your husband can't confront her.

**Popeye** · July 16, 2007, 08:07 AM

Am I over-reacting?

You weren't overreacting.
What a horrible thing to say.

**wwbarb** · July 16, 2007, 08:37 AM

Am I over-reacting?

I would have come unglued. That is an absolutely horrible thing to say. "You know my mom" is not a good enough answer either for your husband. He needs to stand up and tell mom that if she ever says anything like that again, it will be the last time you share a meal together.

Keep on keepin on. Don't let the b*stards get you down. Good for you for eating healthy and going to the gym. Take care of yourself and know you are a better person than she makes you feel like you are.

:h :h

**sammys** · July 16, 2007, 08:50 AM

Am I over-reacting?

Wow, that was mean. Sounds like that group was looking for trouble even asking something like that in front of your MIL was not right. Stay away from them for awhile and take some time for yourself, you do not need dinner with these people if thats how it is.

Sammys

**Accountable for Me** · July 16, 2007, 09:43 AM

Am I over-reacting?

That is harsh. What a horrible thing for her to say. Not to mention, your cousin-in-law wasn't helping anything by starting a conversation that obviously was immature and negative. Don't let her stand in your way of your progress. I would of come unglued on my husband for not standing up for me or noting her comment was out of line. My husband is a puss and probably would of said nothing as well, and would of told me the same as yours did. But he would of received a burning earful nonetheless.

You are doing so well. Unfortunately we cannot choose our family or our family-in-laws. My father-in-law thinks I am a stinking drunk and has been way over the top with hurtful comments. Funny thing is he use to be a drunk and beat his ex-wife silly back in the day. And not to mention his sons - both are alcoholics and my brother in law is a chronic pot smoker to boot. But that is OK, I guess.

I finally had given up on caring what others think of me. When I started applying this to my life, I have gained a lot more respect. Some people are cruel and they obviously don't like themselves very much. They try to get power by bringing others down.

Anyway, hang in there. And don't put up with that garbage. The next time she decides to embarrass you - confront her on it right then and there. Just tell her in a very calm tone you do not appreciate her belittling you or something to that effect. I pretty much guarantee she wouldn't do it again - especially if you confront her on it in front of people.

Hang in there.

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