Losing Our Mothers

[Guest]

Losing Our Mothers

That is very true Lushy....although it does make their loss hard and your grief difficult you have something so so many people never have. I tell myself everyday If Billy had not died, Mama would not have come here, I would not have had this time with her to care for her. She would have been a million miles away from me. I am grateful for the time I have with her now.

[happycamper68]

Losing Our Mothers

Lushy,
Good post. You are so very right. :h

And Luvu- sounds like Billy brought your momma to you.

[Guest]

Losing Our Mothers

Happy...there is a reason for everything.....we may not know it when it happens, but in time...the reason comes to surface.

[Popeye]

Losing Our Mothers

When I was very young, my mum was perfect.
Then she took to drinking. Serious, heavy drinking and turned into a nightmare.
For many years I hated her. She ruined our whole family and made my life hell.
Then she was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and she made every effort to stop drinking.
We became friends again.
I had my mum back; and then she died.
I miss her.
She talks to me sometimes.

[AMELIA]

Losing Our Mothers

To all of you that have lost either parents or loved ones, I can not imagine how painful it would be. Reading your posts makes me stronger in my resolve to have as many good times with my parents as possible.:h
Amelia

[Noella]

Losing Our Mothers

I lost my mom when I was 18 - just after I started university (like as in 2 months after). As she was still in her 40s it was very unexpected. I was always much closer to my mom than my dad ( I love my dad too, but we have the same stubborn temper which made teenage years... umm... interesting).

When I left home, I knew I'd be "safe" because my family would still be there, then my mom died and I was suddenly on my own (yes - I still had/have a large and loving etended family, but I was an only child and my dad was having a hard time dealing so I was kind of lonely).

I felt really scattered, and I think that did start me down my road of drinking... I kind of felt detached from everything, a feeling alcohol both helped and exaggerated. It's been almost 13 years and I everyone once in a while I have to acknowledge that pain is still there, just so I don't go insane!

I know my Mom still watches out for me - I dream about her a few times a year and it's like i'm really there talking to her. While it's bittersweet when I wake up, it's still a great comfort.

Sending big hugs to everyone who has lost a parent or someone close to them - especially to thhose whose hurt is still recent.

[stillcrawling]

Losing Our Mothers

... and yet the sun keeps rising

I had a very difficult week b/c Monday was the anniversary of the unexpected death of my older brother that has really devastated my mother now for 30 years... she eloquently wrote on Monday:

"He was taken away from me -- yet the sun has had the audacity to rise and set each day as if nothing ever happened"

I think all of us who have lost loved ones feel this... I just wish that I had opened my e-mail later in the day on Monday as I literally cried all day -- I think with more empathy for my Mom than anything else ... Liz

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Losing Our Mothers

oh...geezz...

A thread about loss of a loved one...

It has been just over a month since Lindsay, my niece, died, at 21. I am doing sooo much better, in that I am not in "shock" like I was the first days after watching her die. But...everyday, it is becoming more real. That I won't hear her voice again, I think that is one of the hardest things for me. I am so afraid of forgetting her sweet voice. She called me "Aunt Bertha" because she thought it hysterical I was named for my great-grandmother. And I just think of her calling on the phone..."Hi Aunt Bertha". It is so hard. It gets better, and harder every day.

My parents are alive, and healthy, so I am fortunate. However, I never really felt the nurturance from them I craved. I don't know how it will feel when they are gone... I am sure I will be extremely sad, but not as sad as this. No way. Lindsay was as close to my own children as one can get. I remember her birth, I remember her at two...telling me "Aunt Beth the forsithia's are blooming!!" (she was always brilliant, and I was not yet "aunt Bertha"). I just remebered yesterday something she often would say...If we saw something odd, or somebody said something kind of out of context (usually my son), she would say..."that was random"...that was just Lindsay. God I do miss her.

OK. I am good, just in early mourning for a very well loved, amazing child. Here is a link if you want to see my beautiful niece, taken about a year before her death. It was published on the Princeton website with the news of her death.Princeton University - Princeton student Lindsay Jacob dies

[Noella]

Losing Our Mothers

never mind - the link works now

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Losing Our Mothers

So Noella!!

I am computer challenged!! Took me a while. Hope you enjoy the pic. She was the best Ever!!!

Beth

[hart]

Losing Our Mothers

I am sorry for all those who lost their loved ones. My story is like some of yours. I was extremely close to my mom. Long story, but suffice it to say I dont have any type of relationship w/my dad.

I was 23 when she died at 56. She had had cancer for a year and knew it but didn't tell me. I spent most of the last year of her life mad at her. She would call me at work and say I can't breathe come get me and I would have to drop everything and do so. Yet, she wouldn't go to the doctor (I thought) The day she died was another call and I almost beat the ambulance to the hospital....don't think I stoped at the half dozen stop signs that were between her home and the hospital.

I got to tell her I loved her before the cancer entered her brain. I stayed with her for 24 hours then they asked me if I wanted her to have the anti-seizure medication. Basically asking permission to let her die. So I did tell them not to give it and she died within the hour.

Bad year. Didn't eat and went down to under 100 lbs, bad, but the not drinking water or anything landed me in the hospital.

Sorry I am rambling. Still miss her all these years later. She was an alcoholic and didn't want to live, really. I am one too but I do want to live. I'm going AF again in August. The month she died.

[soccermom]

Losing Our Mothers

Beth,
Lindsay is still in our hearts. Thank you for allowing us to share a little bit of her with you.
Hugs!!

[happycamper68]

Losing Our Mothers

Bethy,

I've already seen her photo but looked at it again, what a precious child that suffered for so long- she was so beautiful and honestly, looks so much like my best friend that died at 30- Lucinda. She was an exceptional girl too, designed the Buffalo Int'l airport. I've talked about this before. I was there too when she died, at Sloane Kettering in NYC. It was horrific, seeing someone so young die that you had been best friends with since kindergarten. Too see her high school sweetheart that I also knew very well ( he asked me out first!- we all went to school together and I didn't like him!) that she married only 1 year before after like 14 years of dating- lose his first and only love to lymphoma.

We all sure have lost a lot too soon huh? I am so very sorry and know too well the fear that you will forget their voice. You won't. Sometimes you do but then you'll dream about her and it will come back. :h

[happycamper68]

Losing Our Mothers

Hart when I lost my mom i went down to 108 lbs and everyone thought I had an eating disorder. I have thrown out every pic of me from back then, except the ones that my mom is in. I was just too upset to eat and it totally ruined my metabolism. I didn't even drink back then. Now I am HUGE compared to that.

[memarcie]

Losing Our Mothers

On a good note, I just talked to mom and hopefully she will be released from the hospital tomorrow.