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    What Am I Going To Do About Me?

    Hey all...
    So I was doing really well...(Did an entire month of abs!)
    And i did way better than i thought I would, but then on the last day of May...I slipped. Since then I've been on a bender for the past 6 days, drinking 1-2 bottles of vodka per day. This is the first time I've had a clear enough head to even post on here. I can't believe I just threw away that whole month...
    Seriously, what am I going to do about myself? No matter how long I go without alcohol it seems I just slip back into the pattern.
    Maybe I should just give up....

    Meg

    #2
    What Am I Going To Do About Me?

    Don't ever give up hope!! Have you been on this program? read the book and used the meds and supps? The hyptno CD's? This program has turned my drinking into barely a blip on theradar screen.

    Hang in there and keep posting and especially Don't give up! There are people on this earth that will give you the support you need and this is exactly the place to start.

    Hugs,
    Hope

    Comment


      #3
      What Am I Going To Do About Me?

      Hey Meg--
      You still have your month of abs--nothing is thrown away! I'm so sorry, though, that you're feeling so bad about yourself right now...unfortunately, it's the nature of the thing that we slip and fall--that's because our relationship with alcohol is problematic and that's exactly why we're all HERE! All of us can understand what you're going through right now--we've either been through it before or we're actually going through right now...and all of us have the possibility of going through it again in the future....

      So, in answer to "what am i going to do about myself?--you're going to jump right in here and rack up some more AF days--you already know that you CAN DO IT! (And what you're NOT going to do is give up!!)

      Keep reading the boards on this site and sharing what you want--you'll find all sorts of support here and lots of stories just like yours...there is a whole program here that you might find helpful--it's all good and it all helps! Hang in here--we're all learning from each other and remember your story may be helpful to someone else...nothing is wasted!!

      best, susan

      Comment


        #4
        What Am I Going To Do About Me?

        hang in there

        hang in there!!!! you are worth it...i am telling you this program is changing my life and and can yours too...we are here to help and listen...the supps nad topa have really changed my body chemistry..i just feel way different...have you tried all the facets of the program?... just make this a new day ...and know that we are all here rooting for you and beliving you can make a change for the better...you did month you can start again.... red

        Comment


          #5
          What Am I Going To Do About Me?

          Re: hang in there

          Meg, i had 7 weeks of abs at the beginning of the year. I fell bad after, i drank for 2 months straight. Ive recommitted myself to this program and feeling much better. If I can do it so can you Meg!

          Marcie

          Comment


            #6
            What Am I Going To Do About Me?

            Re: hang in there

            Hey Meg, Welcome back! Why don't you get registered? It doesn't cost anything & you can get into to chat? and also we can send EZ mails directly back & forth if you like ...
            If you feel up to it ... check out the meditation under the "June moderation" for today, seems appropriate ... Just gotta get back on that horse! You can do it! We're here for ya! Are you doing any meds or supps? I remember you were doing the exercise. And you will again!! I know exactly how you feel. Really. I've been there more times than I can count...Hang in there. Go back & read what you wrote when you first found us here. Just do it again. We'll do it together, Hugs, Judie

            Comment


              #7
              What Am I Going To Do About Me?

              Dear Meg, I greatly relate to what you are going through. Jeez, I admire you got through an entire month. Me, I hit the four-day point and I take a dive. Whatever you do, DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have not given up on me, and I am a sad sack of shee-ut. This board can work magic for you if you post often and when you are in trouble because there are so many caring people, just in the same boat.

              As Suljul says, we can understand what you are going through. Myself, I dove into my bottle of wine today after many doc's appointments and they weren't even bad, just that I had to cut out work hours and use vacation hours which I badly need, blah blah blah. Anyway, my point is, you have done great. YOu should be very, very proud. I PRAY for the day I make 30 days without drinking.

              AND I knew that if I stopped and got that bottle of wine today I'd slip right back into the old pattern ... alcohol is a disease, we have a psychological need for it. At leats, in MHO. If I can go four days without it, I'm not physically dependent. If I slip, it's because I have not yet found the coping mechanisms to handle stress, instead of buying the bottle.

              Meg, just do what the rest of us here do when we slip up - recommit. YOu have accomplished a great thing - we all just need to find other ways to cope with pressure, stress, etc.

              All the best and hugs
              Cathy

              Comment


                #8
                What Am I Going To Do About Me?

                Meg,
                I can only repeat what everybody else has said! "All is not lost" You did 30 days! How cool is that! Maybe keeping a journal could help, that way you could look back and see what your triggers are. I know I couldn't do this alone so am doing therapy with my doctor. The idea is to work out what goes on in my mind and change the way I think (BIG JOB!) In other words change my thought patterns so I don't reach for those 1, 2 or 3 bottles.
                You can pick yourself up and start again, I know its hard but visualise all of us with our helping hands out to catch you!
                You have made a great start and NONE of it has been thrown away!
                Be as gentle with yourself as you are with others.
                Love Shas

                Comment


                  #9
                  What Am I Going To Do About Me?

                  Hey everybody,
                  thank you so much for your wonderful support and replies! *e-hugs everyone*
                  So today is day one again, yesterday i had already started drinking so i decided to let it go until today.
                  I am not doing any of the meds, i am doing supps, and hypno though.
                  I woke up this morning and poured out every drop of vodka in the apartment. I'm going to start fresh. ^^
                  Hope everyone's having a good Tuesday.

                  XOXO
                  Meg :

                  Comment


                    #10
                    What Am I Going To Do About Me?

                    Hi Meg Welcome back! Glad to see ya here... Hugs back @ ya! Judie

                    Comment


                      #11
                      What Am I Going To Do About Me?

                      Dear Meg, We don't know each other yet but over the years I have logged a zillion one week, one month, and even once one year of sobriety. I don't think you lost a thing and you gained a great deal with your sobriety for the month and enough that you realized that you wanted it back again. I applaud you for the month you did well and I look forward to reading more about how you are doing in the days to come. It will surely be difficult but you are on your way simply by posting and giving us the chance to share our own thoughts of our slips and slides. I wish you well, Lefty in Asia

                      Comment


                        #12
                        What Am I Going To Do About Me?

                        Again...

                        After 4 days of abs I messed up again saturday night.
                        Except way more public this time.

                        I odn't know what happened. A friend and I were going to my friend's baby shower together, and when she picked me up, i was loaded on vodka and xanax. i had been really stressed all day because of my doctor's appointment today, and i guess i was thinking "just one". like always, it was more than just one, showed up at my friend's baby shower, made an ass of myself, passed out, and my friend dragged me to her place.

                        I am so embarassed. I haven't even called my friend yet..(the one who the baby shower was for)
                        I odn't even know what I said, but I hope it wasn't too horrible. So now everyone probably knows about my problem.....great.

                        But at least I got what i deserved yesterday morning. :x

                        XOXO

                        Meg :

                        Comment


                          #13
                          What Am I Going To Do About Me?

                          Re: Again...

                          Hi Meg, Damn! I know that feeling all too well...

                          Are you on topa? Or any of the supps? They really do help. Also how about the CD's? I know all too well how hard a struggle it is to get out of that cycle of going overboard with drinking. But if you really are determined... and commit to this program, YOU CAN DO IT! I know you're determined! Gosh GIRL! You made it a month of abs, right off the bat! I haven't been able to do that!:b

                          If you haven't tried the topa, I really highly reccomend it. It has made a world of difference in my life. It's so good to have my life back. I know you have what it takes! Keep posting, and welcome back, Hugs Judie

                          Comment


                            #14
                            What Am I Going To Do About Me?

                            Re: Again...

                            Hey Judie,
                            I am doing the exercise, the supps and hypno. but i don't know where i can get topa in canada.
                            I am going to the doctor's later today because i need to be tested for rhumatoid arthritis because lately i have been getting joint pain and it runs in my family. My aunt has it and my mom died from complications from it. I'm so worried about it!!! :
                            I'm having a glass of iwne right now before i go, just to relax, and hopefully ill be able to keep it to one...

                            Thankyou for your reply!!! *e-hugs*

                            XOXO
                            Meg

                            Comment


                              #15
                              What Am I Going To Do About Me?

                              Re: Again...

                              Hi Meg, You might want to try telling the Doc you get migrains (a little white lie...to get the Topa) I've heard of people doing that, as topa is prescribed for them... Good luck!

                              Comment

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