Disappointment and confusion

[diamond]

Disappointment and confusion

Hi,

I feel that as some of the others have said that there are other things going on 'behind the scenes' and it is not necessarily you.

I would firstly approach your step-mother - she is approachable ?from what you said?
I also get the feeling that if he is usually meticulous person he may be having some degenerative disease such as pre-senile dementia or Parkinson's and maybe they don't want to tell the family? Maybe not ?

But I think if your wish is to continue the reconciliation you should consult with her first.

I hope this is ok?

Good Luck - hope you ride out the finances- I have been there too.

Diamond xx

[southernbelle47]

Disappointment and confusion

Happy...
It is so hard here in this life because our "earthly" parents are so.....well....human and imperfect..
My heart goes out to you because of your loss of your mom and the empty space that always leaves...

Try to think of your dad as "butt dust"....as God made man from dust and we will return to "dust"....all of us!
There is a level that we can connect to others on that goes beyond our "dust" or human-ness....

I'm sure your dad loves you....as others have said, maybe there is something going on with him that you don't know about...

As for your precious daughter....
I know in my case....others just can not understand what it is like for a son to go off to war...unless you've been there... It helps me not become bitter with them to remember that...

I love you,
Nancy

[happycamper68]

Disappointment and confusion

He IS BUTT dust! I love that expression!

Somone else said when talking about death about the sun always rises and sets no matter what and how unfair that is when people are are in such despair. the world keeps rolling along while we cry. I am sure you feel this way too about your son. :h

[southernbelle47]

Disappointment and confusion

:l 's to you and that sweet daughter....

Yes , let's all go to Sesame Street!
I LOVE that!
Nancy

[YoungAtHeart]

Disappointment and confusion

I don't know what to say, Patty, except that I'm sorry that your Dad is being weird--WHATEVER the reason. I agree that it might not be you at all.

I'm glad that your brother is a resource to you. It's always great to have a sympathetic sibling. Believe me, I KNOW!

Hugs, sweetie,:l
Kathy

[happycamper68]

Disappointment and confusion

Ugh he is such an asshole!

Well we just had a fight and it wasn't even about the money, or WAS it? He was acting weird the whole time he was here and I was slightly chilly.

He came over to see Sophie and was doing his usual overdoing it with overstimulating her- (she's autistic as everyone should know now). We've talked about this in the past and I've asked him to chill out with her but he refuses to listen. I talked to my stepmom about it a while ago and she said she'd speak to him because she witnessed it once. I swear everytime he plays with her I need a valium. Too many close calls and everything has to be amped up to a million. Why can't he just do a f-ing puzzle with her or maybe feed her a freaking meal?

So today he was overdoing it again and she got upset and was getting aggravated and I said to him "Dad would you just give her a little space? You don't need to be in her face every two seconds!". He said he was sick of my blaming her temperment on him, that he didn't do anything wrong, meanwhile she is usually fine until he takes it too far which is usually does. He also said he thought I was trying to sabotage the relationship between them. Meanwhile that's the last thing I want, he supposed to be her babysitter when she gets home from school so I can get a full time job!

I said I wasn't trying to do any such thing, but that the relationship cannot not just be about jumping on the bed and yelling stupid shit in her face all the time (I didn't use profanity when I spoke to him). So he said "this is not my fault", and said "oh no of course not, it never is", and he left. So that was that. I think he feels guilty now that my brother is loaning me the money and he is projecting. F him.

[sammys]

Disappointment and confusion

Wow, camper that is bullshit he is her Grandpa and his job as a Grandpa would be to show patience and calmness with her. Sorry to say this but he sounds like a big teenager who just does not get it, only thing with that is teenagers lack maturity so they have an reason for there behavior. As a Grandpa he should beable to sit and enjoy a bowl of icecream with her, or play catch very calmly, or take a walk, or he should scoop her up and talk gently to her.

I feel for you, this is not going to be easy for you!!
Hang in there!!! Your Brother sounds very cool!!!

XXXX
Sammys

[Guest]

Disappointment and confusion

He wanted you to ask him again perhaps???? Say you really needed it??? Is he like that? Had he been around he would understand how autistic behavior works and how to handle his grandchild...his loss.

[Guest]

Disappointment and confusion

Happy, Happy, Happy, I feel for ya! My relationship with my Dad sucked too! They are of a different generation where children like Sophie were not interacted with. They were sent away, or left hidden in the house for the Mom to deal with. I agree with luv, his loss. Perhaps one day he'll get it!
Hugs Babe
Mar

[happycamper68]

Disappointment and confusion

All I want is a normal dad and someone that isn't always disappointing me. I didn't think he would show up today but he did, he took it down a notch, then her therapist came and he left.

He never said a word about yesterday, or the money, or anything even remotely related to it.
They (him and my stepmom) must have gotten nervous I would cut them off again and they wouldn't get to see Sophie. Honestly I don't think they give a rat's ass about me at all. I have no idea anymore. I'm glad he showed up but an "I'm sorry" for once would be nice. Even worse is my hubby is really starting to hate him and wants to cut them off again.

Flip there is no such thing as having a conversation with my dad that does not involve him flying off the handle and either screaming or just walking out the door.

Ugh...Some wine would be nice right now. But I won't.

[stillcrawling]

Disappointment and confusion

ICK!

So sorry to see that your family woes continue. Thefact that he loses hiscool indicates that he is being irrational... hang in there! Liz

[happycamper68]

Disappointment and confusion

Yeah he is a bit of a nutjob. I thought he would mellow with age but it ain't happening.

[Jacy]

Disappointment and confusion

Just Curious

I tried Gaba and 5-htp yesterday. I took the Gaba right after I ate I felt fine. I took the 5-htp an hour before bedtime like it said to. I woked up this morning with a headache and sick to the stomach. Has anyone had these symtoms taking these supps?

I ordered different supps that have been recommended to me and the cd but I probably will not have it until I get back from vacation. I wanted to be taking something in the mean time.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Jacy

[happycamper68]

Disappointment and confusion

Do you have L-Glutamine for cravings? - also for bed can you get melatonin? Yu can both of these at the vitamin store- get capsules for the L-Glut (500 mg and take 2) and 1mg of the melatonin- 3mg should do it for sleep but I take 6mg! It depends on how good of a sleeper you are.