My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

[Finkle]

OK, deep breathes...If anyone is aware my lovely, beautiful, caring and understanding partner is back from work tomorrow for a week. Now, since my recent admission to him that I require help to stop drinking, he will go at it like hammer and tongs!!!! I have drank every night because I know when he comes home I wont be able to.. I know I will drink tonight and have to get up early to hide all the evidence...Problem is, how do I remain calm and control the cravings whilst he is home. I know its a blessing because if I can make it from tmrw to Friday that will be my first 4 days AF in ??????????? Any advice, I want to be ever so good and make his short time at home before he is off again pleasant and serene without being a basket case! :thanks:

[Hannah]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

Finkie, did you never drink while he was at home before? I would suggest just talk to him, surely he will understand that you need some help, and things will get better when you get some help . . . if you work at it.

[gabby]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

Finkle, hon, you have to first decide if you are stopping drinking for him or you. When you are stopping for you - you will be more sucessfull.

[Flip]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

I'm presuming he works on the mines Finkle? Is the separation what keeps you together? Dog, you know my opinion, but I'll repeat here again - get rid of him!!

[deeds]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

i know the feeling

it is so strange to think over and over again that this is the last time I might be able to drink so I have to get hammered "just in case". I too have a great problem with this mental brain fart about being good to myself and thinking this is it just drink! I have to remind myself that there is all the booze in the world out there everyday to kill me. I have to do this for myself not my boyfriend, husband, friend, etc. I feel that all the time lately since I have committed myself to getting a grip on my drinking. Don't let the "I have to get all the booze I can right now because it won't be available tomorrow" syndrome out of your life. I still have thoughts about that but have to stop myself and say who really are you drinking for? and why am I killing myself with booze?

xoxo deeds

[beatle]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

Sounds like you really want to stop drinking and that's why you told your bf. Now you are worried you won't be able to live up to his expectations and your own, as well. Maybe it's best that you explain you are not ready to stop right away but want his help to cut down and then stop after a while, so that he is not too hard on you and you both don't get too disappointed. Just an idea.

[Finkle]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

You are all right, I need to stop for myself as it is affecting my memory, but I do stop for him as he doesnt like it (unless he is also drinking)...I do drink at home when he is home but only if he is. FLIP - you dont agree with partners working away at the mines????

Thanks for your great supportive repsones,
Mel
xxx

[Flip]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

I have no opinion of the mines one way or the other - my ex used to work at Southern Cross and I loved the three weeks he was away. What I didn't realise was that I only stayed as long as I did BECAUSE he was away so much. So what I was asking is: is your relationship truely happy or is it surviving because he's away so much?

You really need to work out WHY you drink.

[Deilight]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

Hey Finkle!

I agree with Gabby and Deeds. I'm posting public because other people also need to see. I think you need to be more honest with yourself and your man. It's like, sometimes it's exciting to have something to hide. Like a little secret. Little secrets like drinking are not good secrets, it's like having an affair with alcohol. Would you cheat on him? That's what this is like, a bit. You have to decide whether you want to stop or you want to drink. NOT what your partner wants or thinks on the subject. I'm not tring to be hard on you. Just honest about what I see.

Today we start right? I'm going in for a AF week. It feels easier because I didn't go large this weekend.

Love, light and strength bella!

[beatle]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

I think everyone here has given very good advice, but maybe a little to hard to accomplish. I just mean that it sounds like you are really trying and need some help but that you are very afraid of failure. I think you should make clear goals, but not too high, and accomplish them. I just don't want to see you get terribly discouraged if things don't work out and all because you have reached out for help.

Back to your original post... have you tried any of the things reccommended by the MWO program to help you with cravings, like kudzu, l-glutamin, etc. I haven't yet tried them, but they seem to help others a lot. Maybe together with your own determination, your boyfriend's heavy hand, and these "helping hands", you can manage to stay sober and calm and enjoy your time together.

[chrysa]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

I would suggest taking kudzu daily and gaba or l-glutamin daily if you can get them. Also important would be melatonin or valerian tea or a sleepy time pill or herb concoction to help you relax in the evenings. Eat a lot. Exercise so it tires you out so you can sleep.

[Determinatrix]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

Hammer and tongs???? Are we talking about sex?
(He has been away for 3 weeks!!)

Sorry - back to the point. Gabby is right - Who are you doing this for?
I am trying to remember who posted about the conflict of wanting someone to help and
then hating that same someone who will hold you accountable when you do drink.
You will begin to resent and rebel.

You can do this, Finkle.
Dx

[Finkle]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

Hahahhahaha - no not talking about the big S.

Nevermind about being harsh anyone, its what you need sometimes. Thanks for all your support. Not so sure about taking supps yet, I would like to prove to myself that I can do it.

[me145]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

hey girl. my bf hates my drinking too, however he drinks everyday sometimes a little sometimes a lot. however, i get had gotten to drunk at times and he had to carry me home once. i also have gotten shitfaced bitchy to him on numerous occasions. then the next day hes told me and i cant remember a thing. ive been better the past month but who knows how long it will last. if i were you i wouldnt plan on getting shitfaced drunk bc its ur last night though. ( im sure he'll be away again soon so dont think of it as your last night in fact, i dont usually ever PLan that now because of my past problems-but of course it happens. if u really must drink, get a six pack and do it before bedtime so thats the most you can drink...

[Finkle]

My biyfriends back and Im going to be in trouble

Howdy Me145, when I read your name I think it says MEL, and then I thinks its me hahaha, make sense???

I have tried the six pack thingy and it worked for me last night, most impressed with myself. But I have that thought lurking in the brain, "what if someone pops in and I wont have enough for me" or "i better get a carton and that will last the week", yeah right!

Its funny how some partners are very "do as I say, not as I do"... Mine usually binge drinks on the weekends and stays out until the wee hours while I am at home, we have discussed this many times. He has SO much freedom in our relationship, yet my drinking is monitored. I have done so many embarrassing things I wouldnt know where to start telling you...