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    Lost it

    Hi Guys
    Havnt been around for a while, have been having serious battleing issues with myself, the depression is getting pretty bad, and when i dont drink i just feel so alone, (my mum always said lonleness is a sickness). I have a few nights wasted and dont remember a think, but mostly i just sit and beat myself up, wondering how i got here, and what happened to all my friends, i know people have there own lives but this is not funny, i am so desperate for some company, I am sick of ringing everyone and no one rings me , please tell me that this will get better, i am taking the supps (ran out of kudzu) I am on antidepressants havent really listened to the taps(working all the time) trying to be positive, i just wish i had family to turn to, i have my kids but everytime i look into there eyes i feel so ashamed, what sort of life is this for them, maybe there dad is right i should move out and let him move in, he thinks i am just a waste of space, my kids said that they want to stay with me , its just so hard to be a single mum, and work with no support at all.
    anyway enought . Hope everyone else is doing better than me take care, try to be a bit happier next post.:upset:
    ACCEPTANCE IS A POWERFUL THING

    #2
    Lost it

    OOOHHH Chili Honey,,,
    We all know that alcohol is a depressant to start off with, taking a nice liesurely walk is peaceful and allows your mind to "be happy", so maybe Hon you should treat yourself along with your children ( sorry but I don't know how old they are...) to a nice walk and then a big old ice-cream cone... Trust in me " You and Your children will have a very nice time"... Sounds to me like you really need a "change of scenery" so this may just be the beginning of a really fun activity to share with your beautiful children... I hope that you get a double scoup of your favourite flavour... Be a kid and enjoy this !
    Sending you a Hug, Heeeerrreee Goes !! Did you get it ? Now, doesn't that feel a tiny bit better ? Please consider my suggestion. Take Good Care of you and yours, Hugs, ~Niblet~

    ~ I hear a whinny on the wind~

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      #3
      Lost it

      Hi Chili

      Yes, it is true that alcohol itself is a depressant so you may feel better by cutting down.

      Have you ever tried cognitive behavior therapy? It's a type of therapy that helps you recognize distortions in your thinking.

      The trouble is, as long as you are battling this drinking problem, you won't be taking steps to improve your social life. I think you should tackle drinking and see if things improve...

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        #4
        Lost it

        Hey Chilli,

        The drinking is surely knocking you down, but boy, you are knocking yourself down too. Your kids are saying they want to be with YOU. Even with your drinking, they want YOU!! Why not listen to them, instead of the voice in your head telling you how horrible you are??

        Also, you're right, you don't have much support. If your mother is telling you that loneliness is a sickness, and your exhusband undermining you like that, no wonder you feel like crap! You certainly need more supportive people than that in your life.

        I am a single mom, and I know it can be very lonely. You might be too depressed right now to be able to make friends, especially if you feel so badly about yourself. Drinking to relieve it makes it a vicious circle. You are on medication, but have you considered counseling? You need someone just for YOU, who will be in your corner, helping you with drinking and with your depression. You really deserve it. I have been in therapy for quite a while now, and I don't know how I would have managed without my therapist.


        Please take care, Chilli--you are a better woman than you believe you are.


        Hugs,:l

        Kathy
        AF as of August 5th, 2012

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          #5
          Lost it

          Hi chilli,
          Am sorry you`re so down, but think you have to break your troubles down into bite-sized pieces that you can deal with one at a time.

          Perhaps you would benefit from having the dose of your medication altered, or even have the medication changed over to another one. Believe me, I know what you mean, it`s so tempting to reach for the bottle when depressed, but as I now say..........there`s no great happiness to be found at the bottom of a wine bottle.

          If you can get on top of your depression, you will find it easier to curb your drinking.
          Everyone wants happiness NOW, but unfortunately it doesn`t happen like that............you have to work on improving each area of your life in turn, and once you`re feeling better, you will find yourself more inclined to reach out in friendship. I think I recall your kids are quite young, so if you invite their friends over, you`re bound to hit it off with one or two of their mums.

          Your kids obviously love you.........that in itself gives you so much. Make a plan of what you would like to be different about your life and devise little steps to get your plan rolling.............I know it`s not easy, but through time, you`ll be glad you made the effort.

          Wishing you love and luck,

          Starlight Impress

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            #6
            Lost it

            Ditto everyone above.

            I have had those terrible lonely days, when even though you love your kids you just wishe they would leave you alone. The more you go 'into' yourself though the more they pester you !!

            Try and just go out, even for 20-30 minutes with them to a swing park or place to kick a ball around, you can watch if it's too much for you?

            Maybe go and see the doctor again or mental health care team?

            Good Luck

            Diamond xx
            I feel as though it's all happening to someone right next to me.
            I'm close, I can feel it, I can hear it, but it isn't really me.

            Marilyn Monroe

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              #7
              Lost it

              Chilli,

              Your post is so familiar to me, I feel that way so often. I too am a single mother, and I know I am a wonderful mother too, as I am sure you are as well. My ex is a rat and my family is far away and emotionally distant anyway.... I feel pretty alone alot of the time, and, to tell you the truth, I AM alone a lot of the time. I'm glad you posted your feelings because it helps to express them. It also helps to hear back from people like me and like the other members who responded.. Because it turns out that you never are really truly alone in spirit. There are people here for you who honestly truly care and can relate. For me, drinking helped with the pain and filled in some of the lonliness. Without it, there's a hole. I have been very lonely and sad and have found it hard to cope. Keep it up though. I'm reading books, going to starbucks and treating myself to my favorite DVD's, anything I can to subsititute for that mug of beer. Get through it, write down all the things you are proud of, write down the things your kids will be proud of when they are grown up and know better. And email me! I am happy to hear from you! Just click on my name and you can do this anytime.

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                #8
                Lost it

                (((Chilli)))

                I am so sorry you are feeling low. I have no wisdom to add that others haven't already said. Know you are thought of and it WILL get better hon.:l

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