Buying A Car - Feel Remorse

[Reenie]

I'll try to make this short. I'm stressed over something non alcoholic related. For well over a year now, I've been wanting to buy a BMW. I have been looking on the net, and have test driven new and pre-owned vehicles. My husband has been supportive of me and has mentioned on occassion to go and buy one! Well I did... and I have buyer's remorse! You see, this evening, while driving over a tall, very busy bridge, and enroute to an appointment at the car dealership, my husband kind of took the wind from my sails. (Not sure if that's the right phrase). Anyway, my husband is usually fun and loving.... But when he's grouchy... I can't stand it! He's tough to talk to... Actually, he and I really don't communicate too well... Whenever conversation gets tough, we both just walk away from each other. Rarely do we get in big blow out fights. Anyway, as we were descending down, the bridge, our conversation wasn't going to well. He had mentioned that the car I was going to test drive wasn't for me and "that there is a better model out there". I didn't like his tone, and was beginning, why the f did I ask him to come along with me? All I wanted was some decent communication, support and his input upon seeing and test driving the car. I was already hearing negatives about it sight unseen. Bottom line is, the conversation got heated. I have to admit... I was calm, but just wanted to tone him down a little. I slowly started to pull over to the shoulder of the road, and in doings so, I said, "calm down or get out of the car". Would you believe the knucklehead jumped out of the car even while the car was still moving? He kicked the door shut and kept walking over the bridge! If any of you live in NJ, you probably know the Driscoll Bridge... Yep... It was my husband you saw out there in rush hour traffic! I still remained calm and asked him to get back in... But he kept walking, up and over. I stayed on the side of the road for about 3 minutes hoping that maybe he would come back to his senses. He not once looked back, nor did he answer his cell phone. I intern, continued on to my appointment. I test drove the car and left a down payment of $1,000. Here's my dillema: This is supposed to be a happy time for me. I always wanted a BMW whether it be new or pre-owned. The one I'm buying is pre-owned. Although I negotiated the price down, I think it's still $2k to high. I thought I would be excited about getting my new car. I'm not. When I got home, it took several hours before I told my husband I plan on picking the car up tomorrow. He said, I'm too hastey and he could have gotten me a better one. I'm buying a 2004 BMW 530i. He wants me to get a BMW 530xi (4 wheel drive). Meanwhile, that model only comes in a 2006 and later years. Now I'm burdend with guilt. I'm questioning if I was too hastey putting money down on this car and if I'm ever going to like the car because it reminds me of the wackiness on the bridge. IS IT EASY TO BREAK A CONTRACT? I CAN ALWAYS CANCEL THE CHECK IF I REALLY FEEL LIKE I CAN'T BRING THIS CAR HOME. Thanks to all of you who suffered through this long post! PS: 20 days AF!

[Accountable for Me]

Buying A Car - Feel Remorse

First of all congrats on your 20 days AF!

It sounds as if you had a pretty dramatic night. I have to say good for you for going to the dealership anyway and test driving the car. If you like it, then you should buy it. Don't let his actions tonight deter you from what you want. I am not sure why he isn't being supportive in your decision to purchase. There will always be some better model out there. Just like buying a computer, appliances, etc.

Sorry you aren't feeling all psyched up about it at the moment. Maybe just sleep on it and see how you feel in the morning. One thing to bare in mind is if you don't buy it and you really want it, it may cause resentment towards him. His behaviour tonight was childish.

Whatever you decide, do it for you. BMW's are pretty sweet no matter what year or model. Very classy vehicles.

Here is to hoping you find the wind again!

[Reenie]

Buying A Car - Feel Remorse

Accountable: Thank you for your reply. For some reason, after writing that long post, I didn't think it stucK! I'm so glad that it did and I value your perspective. You are right. I need to sleep on it. Also, if I really like the car and really want it, then I should move forward with my decision. At the time, it was the best decision for me inspite of the drama on the bridge. I think my husband was "trying" to voice his opinion about the car and what he had learned regarding the difference between an i (2 wheel drive) and an ix (4 wheel drive). I find he has a hard time communicating and/or getting his point accross. In addition, I find that I'm losing my patience having to listen to him. Meanwhile, thanks for the congrats on the 20 days. After leaving the dealership, I thought of going somewhere to have a drink, and then decided that it just wasn't worth it. Have a good night.

[Accountable for Me]

Buying A Car - Feel Remorse

Good on you for not going out for a drink. You are doing very well. Let us know if you will be sporting your new vehicle tomorrow!

[Guest]

Buying A Car - Feel Remorse

Rennie, buy the car you want! your the one driving it right? I just bought myself a little convertible did I need it? No.Want it OH YES!! My husband kept reminding me all the reason I didn't want it "you hate road noise, you hate it when your hair is messed up etc." I have it and he love that car as much as I do. Men are strange, they are every bit as moody as they claim women are, hell people are moody. Go with your gut if this car is for you get it. I felt buyers remorse, until I took mine out on a 1000 mile road trip recently and let me say remorse no longer. The real reason I wanted a convertible my dog, he is 10 and deserves to have a little fun in what is left of his left. I have got him the doggie harness and doggles so we are set! Rennie you only get one turn on this earth have some fun. Congrats on the 20 A/F. Next time husband wants to jump out of the car remind him that he has really bad aim; the water is below!
Hugs& Smiles
Mar
BTW : You'll look damn sexy in that beemer!

[diamond]

Buying A Car - Feel Remorse

Congratulations for 20 days - what an achievement !

Don't worry about your husband - me and mine do that a lot too !!

If you want the car - I love BMW's- have it, it is you driving it and don't worry if in future anything goes wrong on it, cars ALWAYS breakdown at some point, so don't let him tell you it was the wrong choice !!


Good Luck

Diamond xx

[Reenie]

Buying A Car - Feel Remorse

Wow Ladies! Thank you! I spoke to the saleman this morning. I told him that I'm feeling as if our negotiations aren't a win-win situation, etc... I got him down another $1K. I gave him my insurance info. and will be picking up my white (tan interior) BMW this evening around 8 pm! I agree with you 100% This is my dream car. It's me who is going to drive it and not my husband. He's a truck man! Meanwhile, I made a For Sale Sign for my Jeep Cherokee. When it sells it sells. I'll miss it, but once I get that BMW in my hands the wackey bridge incident will be a distant memory... So will my Jeep. Simey, I test drove a convertable. I couldn't negotiate a price that I deemed reasonable. I also thought of the fun my Yorkie would have riding in it! So true, you only go around once! It's just a car, but it makes me happy. Thank you for your support. Aside from you all, know one knows I'm picking the car up tonight. I don't even know how I'm goint to get to the dealership. A cab ride perhaps?!

[hart]

Buying A Car - Feel Remorse

Reenie Congrats on 20 days AF and for NOT giving in to the urge to drink last nite. And congrats on ur car!! I bet you look like a hot babe in it!:goodjob: