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    #16
    I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

    I believe in God, I believe that we are given signs everyday but sometimes we just don’t see them. With that said I got to work, opened up my MSN homepage to search for products (I am in purchasing) and the first story like strobe lighted to me and said that drug Topamax used for migraines had been found to reduce addictive behaviors that were associated with the brain and it mentioned alcohol and gambling I think. Anyway, I read the story, googled Topamax and I got to this sight. I bought the book and supp. instantly, called my doctor and made an appointment for the next day to try to get Topamax and here is the sad part......my doctor said why would you come to me, I'm not a substance abuse specialist? I said, I know but you are my general MD and I need a referral to see anyone else, she said she would help me and gave me a referral. She left the office and I heard her and the 2 receptionist talking about, who ever would have thought...how embarrassing...why drag us into her issues...all she cares about is a prescription and she can forget that...I was embarrassed, so humiliated, I wanted to die. Anyway, I swallow the lump in my throat, walked out and they handed me the referral and said someone will get with you within 4-6 weeks...can you believe that? 4-6 weeks, I come to you desperate and you blow me off and I say I need help I know this get me to a specialist and you say 4-6 weeks. That made me feel 3 times worse than when I went in. I went home and decided I would not let them ruin this for me or make me feel worse about myself than I already make myself feel everyday when I wake up to be reminded of what I did, or said to my kids the night before, or I see throw up in the toilet and don’t remember throwing up and pray to God the kids didn't see it...anyway, I digress...so I went on line and found a company to sell me Topamax, I paid for express shipping it said payment approved your shipment will arrive in 7-10 days, that was 12 days ago and it still isn't here. I am listening to the CD's, which I love, I am taking the supp. which make me horribly bloated and gassy, I have reduced my alcohol intake but it is a struggle, I crave it all the time, the supp. aren't taking the craving away and it is so hard. I hope my Topamax comes tomorrow!

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      #17
      I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

      Googled under "alternative to AA" I think!
      Sunny days, sweeping the, clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweeeet!!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to......LOL

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        #18
        I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

        While meditating each day I repeatedly asked for emotional support for my drinking from someone I could trust (other than AA). I believe that was the precursor to stumbling on MWO via the Internet and a non-alcohol related google.

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          #19
          I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

          I too was drinking wine in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep and googled medication to help alcoholics. I found the site, read the preview of the book, came back about a month later and got serious.

          Thanks God, RJ and MWO and all the folks here. That guy that posted ahead of me Bear was one of the first who reached out to me and I appreciate him especially.

          Melissa
          If I ruin my body where will I live? :ranger

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            #20
            I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

            The first time I drove home blacked out drunk and had to check the garage to see if my car was in there, I knew I really needed help and got on the computer that same morning totally hungover. I found Moderation Management first, then HAMS (I forget what that stands for, but its Harm Avoidance or something like that). I forget which site it was, but one of those then led me to 'Moderation Moms' which is a yahoo online group. I heard about MWO on there. Some of the ladies on there were doing it. I checked into it a little at that point, but it seemed a little out there for me at first (w/all the supps, meds, hypno, etc.). I figured I'd try MM on my own, but promised myself that if I failed, I would see my doctor. I had also seen an HBO special on addiction and had hopes that one of the Rx drugs might help me if I couldn't get it under control myself. Anyway, well I drove drunk again and the following morning came to MWO and committed myself to going forward with it. Ordered the PDF of the book and read the whole thing that night. The following Monday, I made an appointment w/my doctor. Saw her on Friday, got my Rx, filled it on the way home, stopped at Hi-Health for the other supplements, and started that night. Started the hypno two weeks later. And, got back to exercising too. I'm so glad I found this place and decided to take a chance to try it. It has turned my life around!

            (P.S. - Please nobody reply to tell me that drunk driving is horrible. I KNOW!!!)

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              #21
              I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

              Lanette, that was an awful experience with your doctor and so unprofessional of her,
              I would look for another doctor. Hope the topa comes soon, I took it and the other supps
              and it helped me a great deal.
              Best of luck Paula.
              .

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                #22
                I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

                Hi everyone,

                Also Hi to Lanette and welcome,

                ditto everyone else I think I was searching for help and came across mwo, and thanks to everyone on here for all your help

                Diamond xx
                I feel as though it's all happening to someone right next to me.
                I'm close, I can feel it, I can hear it, but it isn't really me.

                Marilyn Monroe

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                  #23
                  I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

                  Finding MWO

                  I had a bad experience and wanted to do something about it. But I didn't agree with the AA model. I opted for therapy to help me work out underlying issues (depression) that I felt were causing me to drink. I wanted a non-judgemental approach and no simple slogans, which I HATE.

                  I also looked up Moderation Management and as I recall there was a link to MWO on that website.

                  I have learned so much since coming here. My diet has radically changed and I have more compassion about my problem. since coming, I have had many fewer bad days, none as bad as the one that led me to this site in the first place. Also,I like reaching out to people struggling with similar issues without standing up in a public forum and identifying myself in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable.

                  What an education this website has given me...

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                    #24
                    I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

                    Google wins again. Don't remember the key words, I'm sure I was under the influence at the time. That's a horror story from Lanette. I found MWO through Google, read the book and then I went to my doctor and said, I know why my blood pressure is high, and then showed him some other substance abuse book I purchased 5 years before and then showed him some things I downloaded on Topamax and said I want this. He gave me a similar response that he wasn't a specialist and then a speech about how unlikely it was I would be successful and wanted the AA thing which was a big "ain't gonna happen" thing for me. I eventually said I respected his opinion but I would like to try this first and I understood if he felt uncomfortable not prescribing it. It would take some effort, but I'd find it on the internet. Then he caved. It's not the silver bullet, but it was at least silver plated if you know what I mean. In other words, I'm not where I want to be but I'm 80% there and that's quite an accomplishment.

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                      #25
                      I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

                      I googled something or other about alcohol problems and found MWO in Nov 2005.
                      Marcie

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                        #26
                        I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

                        I was feeling down on myself and decided to seek a therapist. While on the net looking for a therapist that would be covered by my insurance, I looked up the words "Drinking and Moderation." That is how I stumbled upon this site. I immediately bought the book and CD's. I'm happy that I found this site. I don't post on it all that often, but I've been reading the post consistently since May 06.
                        September 23, 2011

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                          #27
                          I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

                          Lanette, welcome. Sorry you had such a horror story at your docs office. I landed here through a thread of on-line weight watchers for those trying to cut down on alcohol consumption partially or totally. Maybe WWBarb was there?! What a blessing this place has been though.Thanks to all!
                          Life itself is the proper binge. Julia Child

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                            #28
                            I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

                            I knew AA wasn't for me, as I am a closet alcoholic, even my best friends wouldn't guess. So I neeeded something else, and I googled alcoholism and found a few sites. This was the first one (maybe the only one?) I found that was open forum, and I immediately felt like I was home. Best thing that could even have happened!
                            The furture lies before you like newly fallen snow - be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.

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                              #29
                              I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

                              I would like to take a minute guys to say "Thank-You" so much for sharing all your stories.. Lanette, Hon you have been through too much for that Dr. to brush you off like that... If it helps you to let us know how you're feeling just to help you through a craving, then that is what we are here to do. Allow us to be a soft place for you.
                              Thanks again everybody and God Bless you RJ. Hugs, ~Niblet~

                              ~ I hear a whinny on the wind~

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                                #30
                                I'M JUST CURIOUS EVERYBODY

                                I had been struggling with Alcohol, but as a "functioning" acholic for years... I was happily married to a non-drinker, but who realized I had a problem ( I told him, we have been dealing with this for 12 years) and he found the site!!! Pretty cool. He doesent come on, but he turned me on to it. thank God
                                formerly known as bak310

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