Greetings Everyone,
Unfortunately, I was not able to make one day and drank on Monday night, which resulted in one of my cell phones getting stolen and me late for work the next day(luckily I had to run a work errand which excused me being late). Through out the day on Tuesday, I felt ashamed, tired, bags under my eyes, my body aching all over, feeling hung-over and guilt for the lies I told that day to excuse my behavior. Beating myself up(which is what I do all the time, but yet never learn the lesson til it's too late), telling myself "Janet, all of this would not have happened had you not drank, what the heck were you thinking"
I read some of the posts but just couldn't bring myself to write in about my story, I felt failure :upset: You know how it goes with the old "beating yourself up" routine.
So, what do I do the minute I get off of work Tuesday night, stop by the local AM/PM market and buy a bottle of wine and of course finished it, all the while telling myself "tomorrow will be the day" that I will be able to start my AF count. This morning I awoke feeling pretty much the same but I did manage to get to work on time and through out the day kept telling myself "you can do it Janet". Through out the day AGAIN, I struggled and kept telling myself that I could do this. I have done this before and know that it's usually the first day that's the hardest. I took my Gaba, Kadzu, Milk Thistle, L-Glutamine and vitamins. On my way home, I was planning to go the gym but I was so tired from the drinking that I thought it would be best to go home, make myself a nice salad, watch TV and give my body a rest. Phew......what a relief....the 1st day was achieved
Well it's about 10:20pm and I am proud to say that I made it through the first day and wanted to thank everyone who belongs to this program and reading this long drawn out story, sorry. It did help me tremendously to be able to share my story. I realized that I started writing this post about 2 hours ago, all the while watching TV, eating my salad, drinking lots of cranberry juice and water, not once wanting to take a drink nor did my mind play any tricks into making me believe that "tomorrow will be the day", gosh I can't even begin to tell you how sick and tired I am of hearing that some old story.
I know that I will have day to day struggles and look forward to achieving my 30 AF count and to be able someday drinking moderately. But for now it's total abstinence for a while and I will need to start by sharing my day count with my MWO supporters and most importantly keep myself busy. I will start my workout regiment tomorrow and will start planning my next running event, this will really help me out alot and I am thankful that I still have the health to be physically fit. My goal one day is to do the Hawaii Iron Man and if I take control of this issue, that dream can happen
Thanks for reading my story and I will give you a post tomorrow with my Day 2 achievement. :thanks:
Unfortunately, I was not able to make one day and drank on Monday night, which resulted in one of my cell phones getting stolen and me late for work the next day(luckily I had to run a work errand which excused me being late). Through out the day on Tuesday, I felt ashamed, tired, bags under my eyes, my body aching all over, feeling hung-over and guilt for the lies I told that day to excuse my behavior. Beating myself up(which is what I do all the time, but yet never learn the lesson til it's too late), telling myself "Janet, all of this would not have happened had you not drank, what the heck were you thinking"
I read some of the posts but just couldn't bring myself to write in about my story, I felt failure :upset: You know how it goes with the old "beating yourself up" routine.So, what do I do the minute I get off of work Tuesday night, stop by the local AM/PM market and buy a bottle of wine and of course finished it, all the while telling myself "tomorrow will be the day" that I will be able to start my AF count. This morning I awoke feeling pretty much the same but I did manage to get to work on time and through out the day kept telling myself "you can do it Janet". Through out the day AGAIN, I struggled and kept telling myself that I could do this. I have done this before and know that it's usually the first day that's the hardest. I took my Gaba, Kadzu, Milk Thistle, L-Glutamine and vitamins. On my way home, I was planning to go the gym but I was so tired from the drinking that I thought it would be best to go home, make myself a nice salad, watch TV and give my body a rest. Phew......what a relief....the 1st day was achieved
Well it's about 10:20pm and I am proud to say that I made it through the first day and wanted to thank everyone who belongs to this program and reading this long drawn out story, sorry. It did help me tremendously to be able to share my story. I realized that I started writing this post about 2 hours ago, all the while watching TV, eating my salad, drinking lots of cranberry juice and water, not once wanting to take a drink nor did my mind play any tricks into making me believe that "tomorrow will be the day", gosh I can't even begin to tell you how sick and tired I am of hearing that some old story.
I know that I will have day to day struggles and look forward to achieving my 30 AF count and to be able someday drinking moderately. But for now it's total abstinence for a while and I will need to start by sharing my day count with my MWO supporters and most importantly keep myself busy. I will start my workout regiment tomorrow and will start planning my next running event, this will really help me out alot and I am thankful that I still have the health to be physically fit. My goal one day is to do the Hawaii Iron Man and if I take control of this issue, that dream can happen
Thanks for reading my story and I will give you a post tomorrow with my Day 2 achievement. :thanks:
Wow, it's going to be so nice to wake up with no hang overs and be able to start my workout. Night Night :h And for you, have a great day :thanks:
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