Hi all
I have not posted for a while so I thought I would just let you all know how Im doing with AF.......well Im nearlly 40 days Af ........and I feel like myself again.....positive easy going care free.....where as when I was drinking I was negative, morbid, uptight, and I worried about everything.......It just goes to shows that when you drink its not just a pleasant buzz to make you feel relaxed and outgoing and happy......deep in the back of your mind the poisen is at work destroying your morals your health your happiness your personality. You see when I first started drinking when I was 21 im now 31 I didnt know much about the real damage alcohol could cause....of course I seen drunks in the streets.....I thought it was so clean cut.....get drunk.....sleep.....party again......I used to think to myself it would be good to be a drunk sitting on the benchs with friends not a care in the world....feeling that buzz.... of course I didnt but.....HOW STUPID WAS I.......nobody tells you about the other side of drinking the DARK side....the mental torture the fight you face to to keep a grip on reality because your mind is so screwed up from drinking to much.......its not just the fact of loosing your family home kids etc.....you face the fact you can loose your mind too.....Ive been there a few times when detoxing.....and it was the closest Ive ever got to feeling mental.....I didnt like it.....thats what keeps me away from the drink now.....not the hangovers.....not the shame.....not the taste or the smell....but the pure fact of loosing my mind......I have had a seizure before and ended up in hospital.....I never knew about seizures through alcohol until then.....my point is if i knew then what I know now.....would I have not abused drink the way I did????......I know what drugs can do Ive never touched drugs in my life im too scared because for some reason I was educated on drugs....why not alcohol....all I knew was its ruins your liver if you drink too much.
Before I found this site I used to think that there was something wrong with me but when I read your posts I realise that we suffer the same feelings.....and I realised that it wasnt me personnaly it was the alcohol...and that the way I was feeling was something I could STOP.....by not drinking....and it has....I have my slips and falls but I dont enjoy drinking anymore......how can I enjoy something that was destroying my mind...... I dont care about the silly ads that make alcohol look pretty and the people that get excited about going out for the night to get hammered ......because I can see beyond the colourful labels and the excitement....and I see me drunk a mess and only there in person but not in mind just a shell on the way to the mental home. So no thankyou I dont want a drink Ill have a diet coke and ice and lemon and my sanity please ( soundness of mind ).
Thanks for reading Luv Keepon:h
I have not posted for a while so I thought I would just let you all know how Im doing with AF.......well Im nearlly 40 days Af ........and I feel like myself again.....positive easy going care free.....where as when I was drinking I was negative, morbid, uptight, and I worried about everything.......It just goes to shows that when you drink its not just a pleasant buzz to make you feel relaxed and outgoing and happy......deep in the back of your mind the poisen is at work destroying your morals your health your happiness your personality. You see when I first started drinking when I was 21 im now 31 I didnt know much about the real damage alcohol could cause....of course I seen drunks in the streets.....I thought it was so clean cut.....get drunk.....sleep.....party again......I used to think to myself it would be good to be a drunk sitting on the benchs with friends not a care in the world....feeling that buzz.... of course I didnt but.....HOW STUPID WAS I.......nobody tells you about the other side of drinking the DARK side....the mental torture the fight you face to to keep a grip on reality because your mind is so screwed up from drinking to much.......its not just the fact of loosing your family home kids etc.....you face the fact you can loose your mind too.....Ive been there a few times when detoxing.....and it was the closest Ive ever got to feeling mental.....I didnt like it.....thats what keeps me away from the drink now.....not the hangovers.....not the shame.....not the taste or the smell....but the pure fact of loosing my mind......I have had a seizure before and ended up in hospital.....I never knew about seizures through alcohol until then.....my point is if i knew then what I know now.....would I have not abused drink the way I did????......I know what drugs can do Ive never touched drugs in my life im too scared because for some reason I was educated on drugs....why not alcohol....all I knew was its ruins your liver if you drink too much.
Before I found this site I used to think that there was something wrong with me but when I read your posts I realise that we suffer the same feelings.....and I realised that it wasnt me personnaly it was the alcohol...and that the way I was feeling was something I could STOP.....by not drinking....and it has....I have my slips and falls but I dont enjoy drinking anymore......how can I enjoy something that was destroying my mind...... I dont care about the silly ads that make alcohol look pretty and the people that get excited about going out for the night to get hammered ......because I can see beyond the colourful labels and the excitement....and I see me drunk a mess and only there in person but not in mind just a shell on the way to the mental home. So no thankyou I dont want a drink Ill have a diet coke and ice and lemon and my sanity please ( soundness of mind ).
Thanks for reading Luv Keepon:h
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