This is about as low as I have ever been....

[IAD]

Hay all,
I'm about as low as I can get ! My 19 year old son jumped all over me and called me a drunk! He also told me that he loved me & what the hell was I doing to myself ! Great... If I knew what the hell I was doing to myself I would'nt do it ! Crap ! what am I to do ! IAD

[happycamper68]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

Well IAD that's about the best incentive to stop drinking as you are gonna get. I know people say you have to do it for yourself first, but if you cannot do that, maybe you can try for him. Talk to him honestly about how hard it is and how very sorry you are about the situation, and makes sure he knows you adore him. Good luck! :h

[gabby]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

IAD, I know how it feels to have your kid put you down. Stings real bad. But maybe its a good thing. Hopefully it opened the door to a good conversation a little later. He probably feels sorry. Let the dust settle and hopefully you can talk.

[IAD]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

Thanks all,
Have to take this all in stride. It really broke my heart. sorry:h

[chilli]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

Hi Iad
That is horrible, he needs to have a bit more respect for you, and maybe try to help you instead of run you down. If only people relized that we dont want to be this way either, and telling us we are hopeless just makes us feel that way, and just makes things worse.
I believe you are probably a great dad sober, and its a shame that he dosnt focus on the good sometimes. I am sure he does love you very much, and is just frustrated that you dont just stop, if they only new the torture, frustration, self hate, etc that we feel every day maybe they would stop and think that perhaps we are doing our best and if it was that easy we would not be here in the first place, I know when you look into there eyes you feel such shame, just try to remember you are trying and you are a good person without the alcohol, and you are doing something about it, or you would not be on here. There are a lot of us out here and we all have our own struggles and reasons, but just remember you were not born this way, you can change it, keep your chin up and start again today, you can not change what happened yesterday but you can change tomorrow.
Take care Chill

[Newyear]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

Hey IAD. Sorry, I hope you can use this experience for something good.
There is nothing you can do right this minute to change this.
You can't hurry up and prove your son wrong, you can only do that over time.
That is painful but true.
The only thing you can do right now - today, tonight, - is not drink. It is probably the one thing you want to do too. Don't drink tonight - ok? Take a deep breath and know that you are changing things.
Wish you well :l
Lisa

[Accountable for Me]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

Nobody knows this about me... I have another child who hates me because I drank. She is 13. They will come around when they feel the trust is there. I have never exposed this part of my life ever here.

[Guest]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

OH...it HURTS...nothing hurts worse. NOTHING...NOT EVER, will hurt worse than that! I KNOW....but you know what...sobber up and go AF and prove to him you are doing it and NOTHING, I mean NOTHING will feel better than the day he says he is proud of you either!!!! I know that too!!!! My 13 year old does not hand out compliments lightly and the day she hugged me and told me she was proud of me and she noticed how hard I was trying, I cried and she did too. They suffer this disease with us and they celebrate our success with us. Have you tried topa? I started the supps, started drinking tons of water, started topa, and tried like hell...I am now going on 4 months AF. The first 30 days were hard but once I got that under my belt, it did get easier.

[Accountable for Me]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

I agree with you Luv.

[IAD]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

Acounable & all,
Thanks, I'll get over this, as all of us have had to do for one reason or another. The one thing that my son did say to me that sticks in my mind ....Dad I love you. It's enough to keep me going ! IAD:thanks:

[gabby]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

IAD, This happened for a reason....and I think its gonna be a good one. This week we are all gonna find out. Keep your chin up.....like you all tell me. I this will turn out good with you and your son.

[YoungAtHeart]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

Hi IAD, I'm sorry that your son's commentary was so painful. He so obviously cares about you! The good news is that he is nowhere near giving up on you, or he wouldn't get angry.

You probably know what you should do, even if you don't like it much. Keep your chin up and keep trying.

Hugs,:l
Kathy

[happycamper68]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

It really is uncanny, your children will love you no matter what (usually), I love my dad because he is my dad but I have zero respect for him. You cannot expect a child to understand your addiction, it'll take him until he is probably in his 30's to fully get it.

I am an alcoholic, but my brother's ex-wife was the worst drunk you've ever seen. Dragged the kids into the car drunk, shoplifted and made them help, cheated on my brother while the kids were home. He got full custody of them and guess where they are right now? At their mother's house because my brother is an idiot and feels like he deserves some freedom (at the detriment of his own children but long story). Ex sis in law stopped drinking years ago (maybe 5?) but is still the same disgusting person I always knew but the kids will always love her. I think kids always think it is their fault on some level ( I never did growing up even though my dad was a drunk I really always disliked him I have no idea why I didn't get the child guilt).

Right now though you have a very angry young man on your hands that still loves you. As a person who still does not really love her father the way she should (because of what he did to my now deceased mom) try REALLY hard to fix it. I know you are better than my dad because you found this website and are willing to be an open honest person and try to beat this thing. It must have been hard for you to post that post but you love your son enough to have done so. I probably have more respect for you right now than I do my own father. Truly. You've got some work to do at home and now you know how he really feels.

Accountable, I had no idea and I am so sorry. She will come around when she trusts you. She doesn't hate you, she hates what you are doing. She loves you and wants her mommy.

Just as a side a lot of us have kids and don't realize the impact this can have long term on them. We should though because a lot of us come from alcoholic families and probably swore way back when we would never do this to our own. My daughter is autistic but if she weren't she would probably be mad at me right now for drinking, she honestly has no idea. And one her of her first words would have been wine. How sick is that.

[Mags]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

IAD You have been so open and honest here. I admire that. You are trying so hard. I admire that also. Your son should admire you and he wants to, but he can't understand what you are going through. Be honest with him - kids can always smell a lie. Let him know how much you love him and how hard you are trying. Maybe ask him to help you just by trying to understand - read some posts on the Loved Ones forum or something.

You are a good man. Your son sees that, too. Please, please, please, let this be your wake up call to really work harder and do this once and for all. You must do this now for him and for you.

Take care. :h

[Cinders]

This is about as low as I have ever been....

I am So Sorry

What makes it so hard, is you know he is ultimately right, and you know he has no right to say it.

sigh.

IAD, we (us parents) are in such a hard spot. Don't give up. Keep fighting for the right thing. Show your son you can beat this.

Some day he will be so proud becaue he will understand you won a battle harder than most people have ever fought and won.

Do this for you AND him.

All the best, (really crossing my fingers for both of us, here)
Cindi