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**AAthlete** · July 30, 2007, 08:43 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

Rocky, are you doing okay?

**Rocky** · July 30, 2007, 08:47 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

AAthlete;171655 wrote: Rocky, are you doing okay?

Hi AA,

I am OK, I just realize I can not moderate. (at least without Topa, which I have not tried)
I have tried to moderate the last two weeks and had more then is good for me.

And it seems each day I am being drug back into the old ways I had before...

**retteacher** · July 30, 2007, 08:51 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

Rocky: I too cannot moderate. I tell myself that every day. Now that I have some sobriety behind me (20 days), a sick little voice inside tells me I can be a social drinker again some day (soon). I know I cannot, because I do not have an "off" switch. I keep asking myself why that little demon inside me rears its ugly head when I've been feeling so great. It's been a good 15 years since I've had a string of AF days like this. Keep coming here...we all need each other. Mary

**AAthlete** · July 30, 2007, 09:00 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

I can never have another drink, and I have accepted that as the price I am willing to pay to have the rest of my life back. I truly believe that if I were to keep on drinking, I would either wind up dead, in a hospital or in jail. Moderation may work for some people, but over the last couple of years I never truly drank because I liked the taste of it - I did it to get drunk.

**wakupmom** · July 30, 2007, 09:15 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

Yep!! Me too,I agree that for some mods just isn't an option.Its about the realisation that it won't work and facing the fact that if you want any quality of life the drinking can no longer be a part of it.Its about accepting and then learning how to live with it-like bereavment... a long painfull process.They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.Keep trying.All i want to see is a person of substance,some one i can be proud of.Its so good to be with you guys xx

**Sante** · July 30, 2007, 09:21 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

I wish I had this knowledge / commitment. The wiser part of me "knows" I cannot drink, but the beastlier part of me won't accept it. I keep compromising with myself, fooling myself that I can drink. But everytime I pick up, I get drunk...and hate myself...and on and on. How do I fight with this beast inside of me. How do I win over it?

**gabby** · July 30, 2007, 09:25 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

Rock, I know if I went ahead and had few beers to soothe my anxiety of what I am goin through I would be right back where you are.

Get the topa dear friend. And stay here at MWO.

Loves and hugs.....

**Mags** · July 30, 2007, 09:52 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

Rocky
I know you are a very dear man of deep faith. Please get the topa if you need it. You deserve better than this. Please help yourself all you can, let us help you all we can, and pray for the rest of the help you need. You're a special guy (I REALLY mean that - it's not BS). I wish the best for you.

**retteacher** · July 30, 2007, 10:38 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

Sante: I answered you on the newbie forum, but I want to speak to you again. I can just hear how much you want to get rid of the drinking. When I first went AF (20 days ago), I didn't look too far into the future. I agree w/the folks on this thread who said that there is a grief process we need to go through in giving up booze. Also, I'm learning to put other things in place of the bad habit of drinking: spirituality, honesty, clarity, productiveness, etc.

I meditate while I walk my dog. After reading the book "How to Quit Drinking Without AA.", I took up one of the suggestions in the book. I review in my mind the pros of not drinking & the cons of drinking (I even get specific & remember events that were ruined due to drinking).

Mainly, coming to MWO has helped tremendously! I couldn't have done it without everyone here. I have a sense of helping & being helped. Keep coming.

Love, Mary

**gabby** · July 30, 2007, 10:41 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

Thinkin of all you guys - Helps me stay strong too.

group hug here......wish it could be in real life sometimes.

**beatle** · July 30, 2007, 10:43 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

very inspiring thread here.
alcohol is not my friend.
alcohol is my enemy...

**Mags** · July 30, 2007, 10:57 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

:hug: :groupluv: :hug:

**Sante** · July 30, 2007, 11:11 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

Everyone and, esp., Mary:
This is a great thread for me. I know I can't drink...ever...and now I just have to put that fact into action by not drinking TODAY. Thank you, Mary, for your advice and words of encouragement. I have such admiration for anyone who can stay AF, even one day.
Sante

**gabby** · July 30, 2007, 11:28 AM

Alcohol is not my friend

These are awesome threads lately. I love the way I see people working in a positive direction off of other people's days of sobreity. Keep goin guys!

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