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NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

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    #1

    NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

    Finally facing facts........that my drinking nonsense has to stop, hence my managing to arrive home without a bottle accompanying me.

    Am almost hysterical for want (need???) of a drink.
    Nothing to prevent me from getting a btl. other than myself........shops still open here, but despite my suffering, I refuse to go buy any booze.

    Just wanted to post this thought............am not going through this personal Hell tonight, only to give in tomorrow night..........would be bloody stupid, as then I would have suffered this `torture`tonight for sweet f*** all !!!!!

    Starlight Impress
    Tags: None
    #2
    NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

    Don't give in, everyone is rooting for you,

    just stay on here tonight forget about shops - they'll be closed soon, even the offy is closing early tonight honey !

    Love ya girl
    Diamond xx
    I feel as though it's all happening to someone right next to me.
    I'm close, I can feel it, I can hear it, but it isn't really me.

    Marilyn Monroe

    Comment

      #3
      NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

      Starlight:

      A couple of things rescued me when the drinking urge just about drove me into a straightjacket several months ago.

      -L-theanine, about 200 to 400 mgs.
      -Phenibut, between 500 and 1000 mgs. powder in water.

      Do you have your l-glutamine and calms forte? Those are good, but not near the power of those two I mentioned.

      I can recognize from your post the absolute crisis state. Been there many times, but please know that I believe those days are long in the past for me now. It took a while, but it is absolutely worth the suffering. Please believe me. It is worth the pain.

      Neil

      Comment

        #4
        NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

        ((((Starlight)))

        I'm starting AF with you today. I too have already thought of the leftover beer in the fridge. But I'm not giving in. And I'm stopping after work at the store for the lithium orotate. And taking my Campral. We can do this together hon!!!:l

        Comment

          #5
          NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

          More2life...............great to hear you`re not buying any for tonight either!!

          Diamond...............still 1 hr. to go `til off licence closes........OH MY!!!!!!

          Neil.........am cold turkey............sure need those supps you recommend........God, you so understand where I`m at..........I am straight-jacket material at mo.!!!

          Hart, yip, said I`d start Monday with you.........we gotta start some day, so this is it, eh?

          Starlight Impress

          Comment

            #6
            NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

            Star, more2 and I are right here with you....yes, I've had the "omg, ants are crawling on me feelings, I'm gonna pop a cork!".... Just breathe and get those supps, the L-glut for the cravings and the LO is all natural too, More2 and I are on it, it helps the thought process pretty much, and makes me "happier" during this struggle....lol....the Calms Forte is great too...Hart, welcome to Monday! Ok gang, no wine tonight.....we'll all be pin-headed tonight, but happier tomorrow, and feeling stronger!
            "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending"

            Comment

              #7
              NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

              Neil
              Can you describe the phenibut and L-theanine more? These are two supps I HAVENT been taking - and I take about 20 a day! (slight exaggeratoin...?)
              Over 4 months AF :h

              Comment

                #8
                NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

                Star don't go to the shop. I love you too much. We are all here holding your hands so tightly. I'm sure you can feel this. This has to start with day one and this is day one. Not day one of torture, day one of eventually (after some pain - maybe a lot of pain) freedom. Isn't that a nice vision to keep in front of you right now. FREEDOM.

                I know you are a beautiful person and want this and will do this. For now, just one night. Have some water, drink some tea, have a nice hot long relaxing bath - with stuff that smells really nice. Pamper yourself.

                :h
                Rest in Peace, Bear. We miss you.

                Comment

                  #9
                  NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

                  Am suffering terribly Mags, but I won`t go buy any.
                  Am in tears, `cos I know it`s all over...........my drinking days are over now..........I just have to get through the withdrawal..........so much for my 6 wks. of succesful mods.........I ended up back where I started.................am such a mess tonight...........feel broken, yet determined............

                  Starlight Impress

                  Comment

                    #10
                    NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

                    Hey Starlight
                    Feeling depressed etc. is very very common but it gets better. It's like losing a friend, I think. I have heard this many times. Remember: this too shall pass. Also, even if you are not in AA (which I dont believe you are), the Serenity prayer works wonders when i am stressed etc: I dont know if you are religious at all (I am not) but i still find comfort in the words: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
                    You are too good to suffer this way - and the suffering - it WILL pass. I am also aiming for AF so lets travel together, This is day 3 for me.
                    Best wishes
                    Jen
                    Over 4 months AF :h

                    Comment

                      #11
                      NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

                      InnerStrength:

                      I found this link to a MWO post I made last year, to thank a member CV1 from the past who recommended it to me back then.

                      It has links to my sources, and more info. Sometime check out CV1's posts in Research section from last summer. A ton of info buried in there.


                      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...-cv1-5924.html

                      Neil

                      Comment

                        #12
                        NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

                        Remember I am here with you holding your hand. I won't let go, because I'm too lazy to move my fingers. I will hold it all night, if you want me to.

                        One day at a time. Today is tough. Tomorrow will be tough again, but not as tough as today. Time goes by. Remember you only have to do this for one night or one day.

                        Feel my fingers squeezing. OUCH! So much for the fantasy.

                        Keep well :h
                        Rest in Peace, Bear. We miss you.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

                          I`m with you jen.

                          The cravings are driving me to distraction right now, and on top of that it`s the knowing that my drinking is all over..........there is no other way for me, and I feel adrift..........

                          Starlight Impress

                          Comment

                            #14
                            NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

                            Star I am routing for you as well, I know how strong you are! You are not broken, not by a long shot. Look how far you've come, don't forget that. Just keep going forward. HUGS
                            "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

                            Comment

                              #15
                              NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THIS SUFFERING.

                              I know, I am scared too. But it WILL get better, thats what is carrying me. We can be scared, but successful - together. Let's do this! Holding your hand
                              Jen
                              Over 4 months AF :h

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