Party Girl to Couch Potato Pooper

[Deilight]

Even though i'm aiming for AF, I have been VERY moderate (1 or 2 a day) in the past 7 days (after my big slide) with 2 days AF. My weekend was sober but to say the least- very difficult and lonely!

For the last 15 years of my life (less a few when out of the city), life has revolved around going out to bars and clubs and getting wasted. Now what? I felt good about not going to the pub over the weekend and sticking to 1 or 2 drinks a day. BUT, I didn't know what to do with myself. I was happy to stay in with DVD's but that's not going to entertain me every weekend while others are out drinking a partying. I fear hermit-life coming along.

So all those who like me have been barflies/pub going folk and now aren't- what do you do to entertain yourself? I know I can't hang out in a bar just yet in safety.

HELP!

[beatle]

Party Girl to Couch Potato Pooper

I would try to look at in a positive way-- think of all the time you wasted and now you have so much more time to do things-- get a hobby, find others who share the hobby. You could even educate yourself in something. The possibilities are unlimited. And think of all you can do with the money you are not throwing away on booze. Buy yourself something you've always wanted but couldn't afford cause you were using your money on alcohol.

[Robert Smith]

Party Girl to Couch Potato Pooper

Deilight;172516 wrote: Even though i'm aiming for AF, I have been VERY moderate (1 or 2 a day) in the past 7 days (after my big slide) with 2 days AF. My weekend was sober but to say the least- very difficult and lonely!

For the last 15 years of my life (less a few when out of the city), life has revolved around going out to bars and clubs and getting wasted. Now what? I felt good about not going to the pub over the weekend and sticking to 1 or 2 drinks a day. BUT, I didn't know what to do with myself. I was happy to stay in with DVD's but that's not going to entertain me every weekend while others are out drinking a partying. I fear hermit-life coming along.

So all those who like me have been barflies/pub going folk and now aren't- what do you do to entertain yourself? I know I can't hang out in a bar just yet in safety.

HELP!

Hi Delight,
interesting reading your post and learning how our habits are so different but yet the same . My routine revolved around my children so I have never gone to a club, well, maybe a few times but that would be it . I have been drinking steady though every
night between 10-11:30 or so . The thing with me is that I have never been bored because I have been busy with family life, fitness, volunteering in the community etc.
My suggestion is to start working out in the evening if you haven't . I work out during
my lunch hour doing weight training and in the evening look for a group aerobic activity.Step aerobics is popular with the ladies and I am assuming you are one . I'm
looking forward to table tennis tonight for a couple of hours and the way I play I will
be soaked when finished. Do what you enjoy and there you will find good friends to help
you along. Oh and the bonus is the endorphine rush that you get for a few hours is
the best natural drug out there .
Ask Diamond. I've inspired her to work out and she is loving it . Now if I could only follow her lead and stop drinking:H

The Sponge

[hart]

Party Girl to Couch Potato Pooper

((((Delight)))

Ask your friends. If you were my friend living here and you told me you were going AF I would say let's rent some movies, eat goodies and (well with one of my friends we have a dye party where we dye each other's hair) but you could do each other's makeup or put curlers in. Just have an old fashioned slumber party, or, a late nite one, what the heck, no one will be drinking so they or you can drive home. Or play games, or cards. Think back to when you didn't drink and what things kids do! I'm just a big kid so it comes easily to me :H

[Deilight]

Party Girl to Couch Potato Pooper

Thanks guys!

Hey Robert! Was wondering when I would see you pop up. We chatted when I first came on this site, good to hear from you. The exercise thing....mmm. I'm not an aerobic fan, I cant; do high impact exercise, got bum knees (really!) Did yoga a few years ago for a couple of weeks but got back to drinking. I need to find a place in my area, I need the guidance and motivation of a class to get to doing anything physical.

I'm not your typcial "girly girl" and so don't do the make up and curlers thing. Most of my mates are guys and unfortunately most of them drink and know me to be the party animal that can drink all under the table.

I gave in and went out on Wednesday, I had a good time but suffered immensely for it. I'm lonely I guess, not having a job doesn;t help. I'm alone all day and being quite a social person i get ants in my pants for company.

Habits I guess. Must break the habit and make a few new friends. Maybe I'll even try curlers, hart, my hair used to be curly and now is looking a bit flat!

Thanks for advice guys. Anyone else out there who used to be a barfly/party girl???

[Flip]

Party Girl to Couch Potato Pooper

Sorry, But I wasn't a bar fly, more the anti social home drinker because I had kids, however, I had similar problems when I sobered up as I was suddenly awake, sober and BORED!!!! Drinking filled in my nights after work and my weekends. So much easier to sit around and DO nothing when you are pissed.

This lasted about 3 months and then after that I started reading, playing on here and started going to meetings (not AA but similar).

I also bought myself a motorbike and joined a club to ride with every weekend. I took more of an interest in what my kids were doing, was able to drive them places because I wasn't drunk and generally take better care of them (they are late teens so they didn't 'need' much but still needed "me"!)

I have now set my self the challenge to walk the Kokoda Trail in PNG next year to FORCE myself to get fit and eat better.

Set a few goals - write down all those things you wanted to do when you were young and start planning how you are going to achieve them. It really works!

F.

[satori]

Party Girl to Couch Potato Pooper

Hi Deilight,

If you can't do aerobics - try taking up Tai Chi

Much more of a workout than you would imagine and it actually strenghens your knees rather than damaging them further!

Are you musically inclined - take up a new instrument to play.

Got a practical streak - take up woodworking.
(or combine two of the above - I make the guitars I play! )

Take up dancing? But a motorbike, take up scuba diving (no impact on knees)
Take up swimming? Write a book? take up kayaking. Learn a language?

All depends on your inclination - the whole point is - the world is your oyster really! You now have the time and some more money to do whatever takes your fancy - think "out of the box" and take up something you normally wouldn't - even if you don't like it - you will have experienced something new.

We are only here once - so you owe it to yourself to EXPERIENCE life to the full!

Have fun

Satori
xxx

[Flip]

Party Girl to Couch Potato Pooper

Absolutly Satori! You said what I meant to say!! lol

[Benjammin]

Party Girl to Couch Potato Pooper

Deilight, struggling with that concept myself. The reality is that we're assuming that the only social scene is the one at clubs and bars. Certianly this isn't close to the truth, it's just what you know. Leaving that scene behind means leaving behind a part of yourself, a part of your ego no matter how healthy it may be for you. That is never an easy experience. Satori makes good suggestions. If you're still able to get out and about check for local meetup groups for activities that you may wish to participate in. There are websites that coordinate those type of things here in the States. Good luck in your discovery of new realities!

[Deilight]

Party Girl to Couch Potato Pooper

As I said in Pink Lady's thread- Welcome Benjammin.

I like what you say about ego, it is a bit like that, it's something you identify with and almost used to define it and now it must go!

At the moment my major problem is cash flow so that limits my choices quite a lot. Still grappling with depression and it's affecting my confidence to go out there and get a job I want! LIke I've said before, snake eating its own tail.

I DID NOT go out and drink last night, stayed home with movies and GF and had 2 drinks. I feel like I'm climbing on the horse and falling off every week! Keep trying I guess until I get it right.

[Change]

Party Girl to Couch Potato Pooper

Hi Deilight,

Learning new habits is hard, but it can be done. Somebody told me that it only takes doing something differently a few times (can somebody elaborate here?) and you have learned a new habit.

It is a good opportunity to go deep within yourself and get to know what you really like and what you would really like to do. For example, you may be creative and decide you want to draw. I believe those uncomfortable feelings we get when we don't drink are always going to be there regardless of whether we abstain or not, so until we deal with them, there is no escaping them.

Another thing is, once you feel stronger, you can go out with your friends and not drink perhaps. I have done this once or twice, although i am careful when i do it and only do it if i feel strong enough to say 'no'.

I am lonely too, but drinking is not the answer. It only makes it worse and the loneliness will be there when you decide to give up drinking the next time.

Maybe we are lonely because we do not really know ourselves. If we become acquainted with ourselves, we may suffer less loneliness.

It is worth a try.

[Deilight]

Party Girl to Couch Potato Pooper

Thanks Change

I like what you say about getting to know ourselves, I feel so disconnected from myself lately. I binged on saturday again and not feeling good about myself. I feel like I want to do this and can't! I almost feel like I don;t deserve to post on this site because I keep falling and can;t be a motivation for others!

I'll keep trying though. Sometimes I feel like my partner's mother and her "Eternal Diet". She goes on diet every monday and has done for years, never really accomplishing it.

Any, thanks to all who gave advice, Ive decided this week, I'm going to set goals everyday, small ones. Not very good at goal setting at all so should start small.

[Flip]

Party Girl to Couch Potato Pooper

Well done Deilight - baby steps!