a letter to my old sponsor

[happycamper68]

a letter to my old sponsor

Hi Karma,

I think everyone has the same opinion here, you sound very happy based on your letter, so file it away. No need to drudge up anger to the sponsor if you don't care to go back to the meetings. No reason to upset this sponsor even though she ticked you. If you have unresolved anger maybe you should find another outlet.

Be happy and let it go, and yes, this website is not a forum for trashing other methods for sobriety, just because you tried AA it and it didn't work doesn't mean it won't work for others. I am not an advocate of AA personally but my dad hasn't drank for over 20 years and my stepmom hasn't for over 25, and they stopped going to meetings about 8 years ago ( they are AA robots though) . Everyone has to make their own way so file away your personal letter. Sometimes just writing is down helps, it can be very cathartic. I've done that with my family and also made a mistake when I mailed something. Just think before you send it. If you are truly happy there is no reason to send it because you won.

[karma7171]

a letter to my old sponsor

you guys really touched me

Thanks to everyone who responded. All of you are right...there is no sense in giving it to her. She is one that went really went into the hole with booze...literally on her deathbed and I have no right to disturb what she believes is true...because it did save her life. Part of me just wishes that she could see that other things are true for other people...but that could be dangerous for her.

I guess part of my reason for the needing to write it out was the fact that she predicted my demise. That this is the way it is...and no other. But she needs to believe that in order to stay sober.

I do believe the power of suggestion is very strong. And for me to suggest otherwise to her could have a have a bad outcome. I have nothing to prove to her, but I know it came out that way. Her and I had a special bond for awhile. We liked the same things and all that...but when I started to question some of AA...and just honest questions...all bets were off...THIS IS THE WAY IT IS! End of story for her.

It is sad to me that so many walk out of those rooms because of that mindset. Then they feel like they are left with nothing to hang onto. So they go on and drink more for awhile...which is what I did when I had first walked into the rooms in 2004.

I don't care how anyone gets well...just that they do. If its AA or standing on your head 2 hours a day. In a way I do feel sad for her....only because she is such an awesome person...but literally seems to have no passion for life in any compacity.

Does AA help people? Yes...some. But the overwhelming majority relapse....and many never go back and then are left with nothing and no one. We are privilged to have access to the internet and this site...many don't have that and are left with no options. Drink or die and that breaks my heart.

Funny after last night I decided to hang onto "As Bill See's It"...it is a good book regarding spiritual...and maybe after everything I have read I could use it more than her. I don't ever seeing myself in a meeting again...but it doesn't mean that I think AA is all wrong about everything.

Thanks to everyone....

Karma

[n2itiv]

a letter to my old sponsor

Christopher Columbus

We each have our own internal compass and truth.

My black & white engineering brother has often said I live in half-truths. My gray world response is "No, I live my own truth, not yours." Neither of us are right or wrong.

[karma7171]

a letter to my old sponsor

I just read back through this thread

So many great responses...and thanks again to everyone.

I have found that in life that no one is wrong and no one is right. We are all comprised of experiences that have had effects on us. That is why there is not one single person in this universe like me or like you exactly. Just because I believe something, it does not make it true for another. I actually debated with my sponsor's partner on this once. He was telling me the word "believe" was shit...the only truth was to "know". I responded that I preferred to "believe" because that meant it was what I "believed", but didn't make it true for everyone.

AA does not allow for that. But I guess if they did the whole thing could get mucked up with all sorts of thinking, so they stay strong to their beliefs and I respect that. I could not live in that box.

I remember when people would leave, the group would pray for them and all predict that person's doom. Especially if they didn't come to their senses and return. Some days it scared me to the point of just staying because as I said the power of suggestion can have huge effects.

I guess my point of the whole thing was that I think that it unfair to just leave people with no other option. Doc's do this and so forth. MikeUpNorth and I spoke about it becoming a self fulfilling prophecy with AA. And it did happen to me. When I did pick up a drink...all those suggestions would fill my head and I would think that there was no use in even trying. Which led me to some very dark nights.

We are all blessed to be here. Even though at times I really questioned MWO...I do know that what I do like is that everyone here is so open to just about anything. What works for one, may not work for another. The wealth of info here is incredible and I have yet to find another place that is open enough to allow all this info in.

Karma

[SKendall]

a letter to my old sponsor

Hi Karma, thank you for the post. My experience with AA was not a happy one although I know there are great groups out there and I applaud those who have found sobriety there.

My self esteem was never lower, my outlook on life never more hopeless. Any group that wants you surrender mind body and soul is not for me. Life in AA was the worst thing, I went on binges, etc.

My group was a small town group and it denied me life's liberty because the people were hounding me all the time. Something with many year's "sobriety" used to go into the liquor store with great regularity, I mentioned one time that I had seen him and he told me he was buying lottery tickets. LOL

[nancy]

a letter to my old sponsor

I really like the reponses to this thread, including the one that asked to think of the sponsor's feelings.

Seems like AA elicits a lot of negative and positive feelings. I am glad I am not alone in not wanting to be part of an organization that believes alchoholism is a horrible progressie disease and everyone is going to hit some horrible bottom some day. In my experience, it is a symptom of depression and other mental lillnessess. Maybe some day people will tease out the causes and behaviors. However, let's also remember AA is free worldwide and that is so amazing. Maybe we will see some modernization in the future?