Another rock bottom

[Mackeral]

Another rock bottom

Now..you've either got a really long leg...Or..My arse is huge..

[gabby]

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Hey Macks,

You know I have always been connected to you and Lisa in a really special sorta way. I love you guys.

But I couldnt agree with Tawny and Kathy more. You know its right. We have talked to much about this.

You gotta stop. And thats all there is to say. Except for I love ya again.

And for everyone else....stop foolin yourselves. You know right now - this very moment if you can do mods or not.

If you can then good. But deep down....you know the answer. You dont need to try and then try again. Why waste the time. Why waste your families time. Your precious childrens time. And their little hearts. Waiting and looking at you - while you are drunk yet again. Meanwhile like Tawny said....they are growing up and growing up. And before you know it....and before you finally figure it out....your 60 fuckin 5. And they are grown up and gone. And they have their opinions of themself, of life and of YOU. And its to late.

So stop sugar coatin yourself and do what you need to do. And what your here for. And stop drinkin.

There comes a time when ya gotta quit bein soft on yourself and get your head in the game and just stop drinkin.

Sorry I got on a little rant there. And I am gonna go before I get people pissed at me. So bye.

And PS....I love ya Macks.

[Mackeral]

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Thankyou Gabbs,
You know i have got better friends here than i have at home..It is 9.50pm here..i am sat at home sipping coke in the dark and typing here wishing i had 14 months af behind me..
My wife and kids mean the world to me..more..

[happycamper68]

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Gabbster Abbster,

I for one needed that BIG time. Thank you. :h

[gabby]

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Macks, I know you love your kidlets - so so much. Never doubted it. Happy too. Life sucks sometimes. Drives ya to drink we all know it. I struggle too. Don't mean to come off righteous. Sheese....I wouldn't be here if I had it all under control myself.

[Guest]

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Thanks for your no nonsense post Gabby............you talk such sense.

I knew I was kidding my a*** on shouting how I could do mods.
But, I "know" I can do AF, and am a lot happier now that I`ve accepted mods is way too risky for me.

Starlight Impress x

[happycamper68]

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The very last thing I want to do is mess up my kid. I've got to get a grip on this.

[trixietrack]

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Mackeral;175002 wrote: Now i have got a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throut..
We have all sat down today and talked..I have apolagised to both lisa and the kids...And i have made promises to them and me..
What hurts me is that they are all so forgiving. Its a love i wont test anymore..

I am just gonna give you a big hug. :l be strong

[irishlady]

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Macks, its all been said. You know where you're at and you know what you HAVE to do... Taking those first few steps, its easy, I know, I've taken those first steps so many times over the last ten years, but when the road gets rocky and you are in pain from the effort, DON'T GIVE UP, it does get easier, a craving will not kill you, giving in to it and continuing to drink WILL..

Right, you have your plan, you have the tools and all the support you will ever need, NOW START TO REBUILD YOUR LIFE..

By the way, I had a father just like Tawny's, he worked in a brewery and came home late every night pi**ed out of his brain, he died of liver cancer at 63, and he fucked my life up so much its only now at the age of 59 that I can come to terms with things in my life..

I wish you well Macks.

Love to you, Lisa and the children,

From Louise xxx

[Finding My Self]

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Mackeral - I'm just sending this to hope you're doing ok. Wow, you got some buddies here haven't you?! What wonderful honesty. Painful but true. Justing sending prayers to you and your family (and everyone else in MWO, too). 'JFDI' as is said...just ******* do it!!! You CAN. One day at a time < 14 months (I hope too!! One day I can do - 14 months too daunting so I'll not look further than going to bed sober which means I'll have to wake up sober...yea! Let's all wake up sober together tomorrow?)
FMF x

[Beaches]

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I just read through this thread. Very powerful.

Macks, I just want you to know that I am sending my love to you, Lisa and the kids. You know that Ab's is what you need to do. You know that the children and your wife are the most important things to you in the world. The last thing you want is your children growing up and growing away from you. My father drank a lot when I was younger and I couldn't stand it when he was drunk. That was the only time he showed affection towards us kids and argue with my mother. Then he left us and we were left to sort out all the crap.
Get it together and be happy. You can do this.

[Hawk]

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Macks - Thinking of you and Lisa. Its tough and it stinks but you know what you have to do. And I know you can. You have a lot worth fighting for.

[Accountable for Me]

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Macks, my friend. You need to commit to ABS 100% now more than ever. You have come to a cross roads. Choose the road that will bring you a fulfilling, healthy, loving life over the alcohol.

One thing I have noticed is when you disappear from the boards for a while you end up drinking excessively again. Why not try to log on once a day to keep your motivation up? Just like going to an AA meeting (only better). Holding yourself accountable and being honest and true to yourself will really help you.

Much love to you, Lisa and the kids. XOXOXO

[IAD]

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Mack,
Carry on !!!
You can do it ! IAD

[Preciouspinot]

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I know I am a little late in the game posting here but, I have you both in my thoughts and wish you all the best life has to offer. You guys will survive this as well.