Need a good swift kick

[happycamper68]

I was just realizing this evening, after many posts over the last several months regarding some pretty disgusting scary behavior on my part while drinking (in tub with clothes on, begged hubby to call 911 and take me to detox, and last night's episode) that no one ever yells at me. Why doesn't anyone here ever yell at me? I yelled at Macks today, Gabs did, Tawny did. Seriously guys I need someone to f-ing yell at me because all this softballing ain't cutting it. Stop being so nice to me I don't deserve it! I can't believe I am asking for it but I really do need it. I need a good smack.
Thanks in advance.

[Reenie]

Need a good swift kick

Happy Camper,

I've been forutnate to meet you in person, but if you really feel like you need a good kick in the a_s, then I'll cross the bridge and really give it to you. You were there for me when I needed sound advise in May of 06. With your's and Sunshine Brian's help, I finally came around and excepted my Dad's letter as a letter of concern. I thought at the time my Dad was kicking me in the a_s. You and Sunshine intepretted it much more differenlty. If you really feel you need a good talking to and a swift kick in the a_s, I'll cross the bridge and give it to you. Take all of your drunken incidents and learn from them. Drinking gets you no where. I finally see the light am and treating this disease such as it is. I can't live "that" way any longer, and am now determined more than ever to give drinking up for good. Today marks Day 34! I feel better mentally and physically every day. You must dig deep and turn your drinking habit around. There's more to life than all the nonsens and sever consequences drinking brings upon you. If you would like to meet up and get your kick before we all meet with Mags, let me know. I'm here for you. - Reenie

[toughintexas]

Need a good swift kick

Camper, I missed the whole thing, what'd ya do.....lol.....I kept trying to get on chat last night, and something was wrong, it kept kicking me out and then the whole site was asking me for my password and stuff again...weird...anyway, I'll kick yo butt if you'll kick mine when I need it....promise....I mean, what are friends for.....lol.....

[happycamper68]

Need a good swift kick

Tough,
I called a suicide hotline at 2:30 am and hung up on them. I also called the Mayor's office and was on the phone for 6 minutes. I also called one of my best friends- thinking I was calling a hospital, and once I realized it wasn't a hospital I hung up on her. I had to make up an insane story today to her. She bought it. I feel so guilty about lying to her because my lie involved another friend whose dad is in the hospital and I said I was trying to reach my "other" friend at the hospital and called the wrong number. Meanwhile my friend whose dad is in the hospital is very very very sick and might not make it and I used them as an excuse to hide my problem. I am disgusted with myself. I don't even know how I got the number of the mayor's office because it is unpublished- I had to pay $14.95 to day to even find out who I called because I was afraid to call it again. That was how low I went last night and I remember none of it. Belle PM'ed me and asked me if I was taking Ambien and I do, that is why I blacked out but the fact that I called a suicide hotline scares the shit out of me. I got a lot of very supportive PM's like I always do and I love everyone here but I really need some tough love right now because my husband isn't doing it and I have no one else that knows in my "real life". I am too ashamed. I called my best friend last week and would have told her because I was so drunk but she wasn't home.

[memarcie]

Need a good swift kick

Patty - Don't go there. Don't put yourself in that place you need to call suicide hotline! You never would have felt like that if you hadn't been drinking. What would Sophie do without a mom? What would that do to her? Can you imagine her having to grow up without a Mom? Next time you want to drink, you hold a picture of her up in front of you and you decide, is alcohol more important or Sophie? You know the decision, now you need to follow that.


It is the honest truth and I hope that is what you were looking for

:h :h

Marcie

[Reenie]

Need a good swift kick

Happy Camper: The incident you wrote about is frightening and I don't take it lightly. Maybe this "scare" is what you need to really seak help. You must feel so desperate right now and really need someone to talk to. Again, the offer is there.... If you would like to meet in person sometime this week for a heart to heart I'll be there. There's a lot of advise I would like to offer you, but if I were to share it with you now, I will end up writing a book. After my last drunk, I was really desperate to talk to someone. I actually considered ending my life. Thank God I didn't. I also thought of checking into rehab. I didn't, but if I screw up again, then I will refer to the numbers I have already prepared to call. I don't know if you have ever gone to an AA meeting, but it's worth a try. You can really dump your worries and fears right out there on the table. Members will open their arms to you and give you the compassion and "kick" you might really need. For the rest of the night, try to be good to yourself and not dwell on this episode. Things will get better in a couple of days. The scare you had might lessen, but won't go away... Try to learn from it.

[happycamper68]

Need a good swift kick

Reenie,
:h
I cannot do AA, I just cannot- my dad and stepmom are in AA- I hate what it is as turned them into. I could never go to a local meeting anyway because as anonymous as they say they are my family would find out. I'd have to go to Manhattan - and anyway that is just not the route I want to go. The topa gave me eye issues, that was the drug that helped me the most. But Sophie's diagnosis has just destroyed me, I feel weak and unempowered and trapped. I can't find a f-ing job, I am consulting which has no stability, and have a husband that has a shitty ass job with no decent benefits- he works at a wine store and he has developed a problem too. We are hanging by a thread.

I HAVE to stop feeling sorry for myself and be grateful for what I have but I just cannot seem to get there. I am just too f-ing depressed and lonely. I have no real time to get into the city except for when I am working because I have to be home when Sophie gets off her bus. My life revolves around her and this little stupid job. I work 16 hours a week and make more than my husband!
I need a massage. I need a day to myself. I need to get the f out of this house!

[happycamper68]

Need a good swift kick

Marcie you are right I need to look at her little face ALL the time. Thank you.
They say 85% of couples with autistic kids split, that scares the crap out of me too.

[memarcie]

Need a good swift kick

Patty,
I'm sure those statistics are realistic. Maybe you and hubby can get some counseling now to talk about and work through autistic issues as they arise? Try to deal with things as they happen instead of building up anger and resentment due to the extra attention Sophie needs. You can do it, you both love her, you just have to deal with it in different ways than other parents might.

BTW, 85% seems high I wouldn't think its 85% in addition to the general population that get divorced. Figure how many parents with children without autism divorce, it must be like 50%(guess),maybe 15% more divorce than without children with autism? So yes, there is added pressure for you and hubby to work through Sophie's problems together. Do you have any counselors in your area for children like Sophie?

I'm sure it isn't easy Patty, but if you guys put her ahead of alcohol and other issues, you will succeed.

:h

[lucky 2.0]

Need a good swift kick

Camper-

I just sent you a LONG PM to kick your ass privately instead of in public but I do not think you got it because my system crashed after I had typed out a 15 min response to you. Will do it again later. Going to gym now so that I can stay abs tonight.

[n2itiv]

Need a good swift kick

HC,

I'm going to be blunt rather than kick your butt. What, if anything, parts of RJ's program are you doing??? Obviously the message board support which is huge! Bare minimum you need to do the supps, CDs and kill the sugar in your diet.

Over a month ago, in a drunken stupor I wondered what I had to live for and wished I could switch places with my friend who died. I just finished 30 days AF last weekend. My life has turned around significantly for the better! I have done AA and that is not for me. MWO is a piece of cake WHEN YOU DO IT!

Nuff said.

PS Just read your b-day on the star sign thread HappyCamper - this is a ONE year for you, so you have great new beginnings. I know you will figure out how to turn this around!!!

[magic]

Need a good swift kick

Sometimes life sucks, for all of us, but drinking isn't going to fix anything, it only contributes to the sh*t. Your life isn't any worse than a lot of others.

You have to play the hand you're dealt, the best way you know how. I know that you know better than this.

Things look so much clearer, less complicated when your brain is healthy, when your body is nourished and rested properly. Sophie deserves and needs her mother at her best.

You do have to stop feeling sorry for yourself! Not much is going to change until you sober up!

I quit drinking almost three years ago when I thought I might lose my kids. Scared me enough. Think about Sophie's future.

magic xxx:heart:

[Accountable for Me]

Need a good swift kick

Happy, it is time to get your shit together. I know your life has been chaotic the last several months, but enough is enough. You have to go and see your doctor and get him to get you on something pronto.

I know nothing about how the States deal with parent's who have an addiction and those who call the suicide hotline or the mayors office etc... I know here, in Canada, if they decided a child was endangered social services would be at the door ready to apprehend the child - no if's and's or but's. Anonymous only goes so far unless they feel a child is in trouble. I am not implying your child was in danger, but if you are getting this messed up it is high time you get your butt down to your doctor.

I have no clue as to what it is like to have a child with special challenges. I imagine, after watching Oprah the other day it is very tough. But the bottom line is she is your daughter and you won't be much good to her unless you give up the alcohol. She needs you. She doesn't have anyone else in this world (other than your husband) that can love her, support her, teach her and show her a fairly normal life.

I am so far from preaching, so please just take this as love from a friend. You need to go to your doctor like tomorrow if you can. Your husband needs to kick the booze too as it isn't helping you or him.

I love you Happy. Please go and get help before it really f's your life right up.

[Flip]

Need a good swift kick

HC, Since I'm on the other side of the world, why don't you PM me and I should be here when you need. I'm going to send you my work email address so you can reach me anytime.

You simply have to tackle this.

[IAD]

Need a good swift kick

Happycamper !
If you want abuse you need to see Madame La Rue ! She can tie you up & all that other stuff ! Sorry, I was being facious ! We like to be friendly in our suggestions. Carry on, and do all you can do to take care of your self. IAD