Need a good swift kick

[gabby]

Need a good swift kick

Me too Happy.

Hi Kath.

[happycamper68]

Need a good swift kick

Hi again,
Very drained (big flooding in NYC this a.m.- had to take car service to work because subway wasn't running) and tired to post anything too long (I slept very badly last night)- my husband is working late so tonight will be harder than last night because I will be bored so I will go to bed early, but we are both off from work tomorrow which is good. I am taking my Campral, Naltrexone, L-Glut, Kudzu, and Klonopin for sleeping and hard cravings (oh and the sleepytime tea extra that had valerian root in it with a couple of teaspoons of Calm powder).

As far as AA goes-just out of question- It has nothing to do with anything that anyone said on the site but some stuff confirmed the beliefes I have always had. My dad left my mom for someone he met in AA while my mom was dying and I had to take care of her until she died when she was only 52 and I was 24. I have been to countless meetings since my childhood as well as Alanon. I don't like the way it has made my dad- he is more selfish and self absorbed than before he quit.

I cannot do AA- I hated it there and I hate what it did to my family. I never would have looked for this site in the first place if I were open to an AA environment. Getting up in front of a bunch of people is just not something I will do. I don't agree with a lot of its principles, the powerless crap. I do believe in one day at a time but I don't need a meeting for that. I need to find other more productive things to occupy my time that I used to spend drinking.

But for now- just trying to get through day 2! Thank you all! :h :h

[gabby]

Need a good swift kick

Thinkin about ya Happy.

hugs.....

[happycamper68]

Need a good swift kick

Thanks I am off to the drinktracker!

[Guest]

Need a good swift kick

Camper, I am with you on AA! Hate It!!! for many of the same reasons. Keep taking your sups baby! You can do this!
Hugs
Mar

[chrysa]

Need a good swift kick

Hi Camper,
OK...
To be honest after how you handled the aftermath of the tub incident & the accident miscarriage I realized there was nothing I or anyone could do anymore. I am slow that way. I have been just hanging in the Subscriber section.

I believe you need professional advice. I believe the alcohol is one issue but the ambien and any other pills are just as much contributing problems.

I understand about AA. Given your relatives go there, I wouldn't do it either. What about starting with a private alcohol & drug counselor?. Just an idea.

PS..Funny Monday night I dreamt I got drunk and was in a blackout. I have never been in a blackout. I hope this does not mean we are psychically connected. little LOL

[chrysa]

Need a good swift kick

"I HAVE to stop feeling sorry for myself and be grateful for what I have but I just cannot seem to get there."

That's where God comes in. You actually have a beautiful life in comparison to 99%. God has a plan for you. Difficulties are part of the path to becoming who you are meant to be.

[lucky 2.0]

Need a good swift kick

Amen sista!

[happycamper68]

Need a good swift kick

The pills stemmed from a really bad anxiety attack in had in 2002- more than likely rebound anxiety from alcohol but I wasn't aware of it at the time at all. I was not managed properly by my shrink I found back then- he gave me too many pills and I have ALWAYS had difficulty sleeping. No excuses- I took them, but benzos are really addictive and I've weaned to taking half of what I took a year ago. I'm trying but one thing at a time. I do need professional help no doubt- and not the drug pusher I have now.

I started getting some perspective yesterday when I got some bad news about a couple of my friends, one of them had a stroke (had a two year old daughter) and the other's 4 month old baby is in the hospital having constant seizures and they haven't been able to figure it out. I know I am lucky in so many ways.

[GinaCA]

Need a good swift kick

Hi HC,
I think you know my history with pills. Got hooked on Xanax with a pusher (psychiatrist who spent less than 5 minutes with me and said I was just "stressed" right out of detox). It is PAINFUL weaning from the crap bigtime, but SO worth it. You have been so terribly mismanaged, it PISSES me off big time! Wean slowly! You can do it! There is so much freedom to be had at the end and you deserve it! Exercise and supps have helped me big time getting off the final psych med...Celexa..as of recent. My last remaining vice will be the Trazadone I keep on hand for nights I absolutely need to sleep but can't. I wish I could report your crappy doc to the DOH or Medical Association...he should lose his license for the lives he is screwing up! :h g

[happycamper68]

Need a good swift kick

Beana,
Don't report him quite yet I still need him!
He is awful he only sees me every 6 months and the rest of the time I send him self -addressed stamped envelopes with a co-pay. I somehow managed to find the WORST shrink in Manhattan (as bad as Anna Nicole's) but he was the one that could see me soonest after my panic attack after calling a whole bunch desperate, and yes the visit was only for maybe 10 minutes for even the very first visit. A total hack.

[Beaches]

Need a good swift kick

Happy just wanted to let you know I am pulling for you!

[GinaCA]

Need a good swift kick

I know that feeling, but eventually you will be able to put the guy out of business once you get stronger!! I called my old pusher in a state of desperation earlier this year, and found that he was no longer in private practice only working with psych hospital patients. His answering service was very protective and questioning of me...he must be in trouble! I did file a complaint on some of the bills I received.. Hopefully it contributed to his fall. Will never know! Have an ultra-conserv psych now who is helping me wean from the meds! Sometimes I wish I could sway him to give me what I want, but for 95% of the time I am grateful he isn't. Keeps me on the path of FREEDOM!! Hopefully I won't even need him soon. Love you!! G

[happycamper68]

Need a good swift kick

Yes,
It sure is hard after 5 plus years of getting whatever I want to let go of it. I'll get there. Thanks guys. :h

[IAD]

Need a good swift kick

Camper,
AA was to much for me...Sponsers, group meetings, Bar-be-que's, bull roast, conventions !
Hell I did'nt want to jion a club, I just wanted to get sobber ! Keep on with this track. Though we fail from time to time....eventially we will win ! IAD