Am I evil?

[memarcie]

So my hubby found a glass of wine last night that I had on my desk. I have not been hiding wine from him, even if he's mad that I bought wine, I put it in the fridge. I recognized the glass from last weekend when he decided to put it on the bathroom counter late last night where I would see it in the morning.

I feel like it was, see I knew you had been drinking tonight story, even though I hadn't been last night, but was acting silly. So now I feel like I should hide(not so well), several glasses of wine around the house so he can find all of them.

He never said anything about it, just had asked me earlier in the night(during a silly moment) if I had been drinking and I said no. Ok to put it in perspective, I do the same stupid silly crap all the time, Like randomly dance while I walk though the living room etc.,but this time it was a night when he had been at work for several hours.

I used to hide wine all the time(in much more creative places) and he would find it, so it isn't anything new, but now that I've started drinking a bit again he's back to feeling like I'm hiding something from him. I can't excuse what I've done in the past, but with all I've been through with him(I've excused his prior indiscretions), I'm angry.

I want to hide random glasses with wine all around the house that I know he will find to get my point!. So I feel like making a point, is that bad?

[gabby]

Am I evil?

I don't think so. I would for sure talk it out Marcie before it grows.

[Beaches]

Am I evil?

No, you are not bad and your feelings are normal. I would have a talk with him though before hiding all the wine and let him know what's going on with you. If that doesn't work then off you go and hide it in good places too.

[beatle]

Am I evil?

I agree with beaches. But one thing, remember that alcoholics do crazy things when they are drunk, and he just doesn't know whether he can trust you again or not. Is that so weird?

But I like the idea of hiding glasses (hey, why not bottles?) around... just for fun. (Be sure he gets the joke, though).

[memarcie]

Am I evil?

I a bit tired and fed up with feeling like "its all my fault" it is starting to feel like a game to me. That's how he approaches it, so displaying a glass full of wine on the counter that I forgot about is supposed to be some type of confrontation? UGH!


I was AF for 6 months and now that I've started to drink wine again he assumes that I'm going back to the same place I was before. It is frustrating. Should I assume that he is cheating on me like he has in the past every time he leaves the house? I guess these are things I need to talk with him about if I want this marriage to continue(I'm not 100% convinced of that)

[Accountable for Me]

Am I evil?

It sounds like the two of you really need to sit down and discuss all of this. It sounds like you both have some trust issues (alcohol/infidelity) to work through.

I have to admit I read your original post and had to laugh at the thought of you hiding glasses of wine around the house to make him look stupid.

But honestly, it sounds like you both need a good heart to heart. Make a reservation to a fairly descent/quiet-ish restaurant and get to the bottom of it. You want this marriage to work and it sounds like there is still a chance for that. All the best Marcie!

[morrison]

Am I evil?

You could really be silly and hide grapes around the house. Would he get that?

[Hawk]

Am I evil?

I laughed out loud at your idea of hiding glasses all over. A glass in his underwear drawer....Imagine him finding them in all the strangest places.....then I thought about it some more based on my own similar experience. Trust is a very hard thing to rebuild. An open, frank, and honest discussion about where you are and how you are dealing with having wine again might serve you better in the long run.

Hate to be a downer - just my opinion.

[gabby]

Am I evil?

lol morrison....love your humor

[Guest]

Am I evil?

Fermented grapes of course, morrison!!! LOL

Starlight Impress x

[memarcie]

Am I evil?

ok, off to the store to buy grapes, :H

[gabby]

Am I evil?

Did ya get the grapes Marcie? I think ya should put some in his undie drawer. Right by his cup....if he has one.

[wwbarb]

Am I evil?

How about raisins in the undie drawer? This will really make him take a second look!!

Sitting down and having a talk would be more sensible, but I'd probably do it your way. No one ever accused me of being sensible.

Honestly, though, it would probably be a good idea to get the issues on the table. One way or the other, I would want to know what the future held.

[Newyear]

Am I evil?

barb- now that made me laugh
I would really freak out if I found raisins in my underwear drawer. eek.....
super big mouse!!

[YoungAtHeart]

Am I evil?

It's good you have kitties, Lisa!

No really, Marcie, the best thing to do would be to talk, although your anger is very understandable. He is scared and is not handling it very well at all.

I love your idea, though, and everyone elses, they are funny, but would probably make him feel foolish or angry, which probably wouldn't get you what you want.

Good luck!:h

Kathy