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7wks an 2days....AF..and I dont feel good

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    7wks an 2days....AF..and I dont feel good

    Hi my friends,

    Well I am where I am AF.......and I dont feel good.......u know why because im starting to feel the vibe of all my familys life.....the reality im starting to hear other opinions of life.....and dont like it......it seems bitchy to me......cuz i ent like that....drunk or sober.....and these opinions are from some people i look up too......I carnt mention names etc....becuz they may read.......basically ive realised ive been ridiculed more than i deserve......my son of 8 has been critisied and in my eyes as an aldult....seems pathetic....what im saying is as much as I have problem wiv drink....I am still...me.....and I know whats wrong an right.....even though im classed as a piss head....... Ive actually realised my family is abunch of people who dont believe in themselfs....and are av brought us up to think we are too.....does that sound wrong???..............I waz brought up thinking I waz ugly because of the comments i heard......well im gonna change that cuz i ent a loser im a kind person with lots of ambition......and my son......is very clever so im gonna break the family trait...I know this seems like shit but ive now realised why I drink .....soz guys had to vent cudda said alot more but i wont.......ps this pic is of me i do smile....xxxthanks for reading

    #2
    7wks an 2days....AF..and I dont feel good

    Hi Keepon,
    What we believe of ourselves is all that truly matters.
    I`m also regarded as "the drinker" in my family, but through time and us getting sober, others will lose that image of us.

    You`ve done really well......be proud of yourself.

    Starlight Impress x

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      #3
      7wks an 2days....AF..and I dont feel good

      keepon, being AF brings a lot of hidden feelings to the table. It is hard to deal with that! I was AF for 6 months due to medical issues, but now that I'm drinking in moderation(well not so much), I am seeing things that I knew were there, but blocked out by drinking. Stay strong and make sober decisions on how you want to deal with stuff.

      it ain't easy.

      :l
      Marcie

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        #4
        7wks an 2days....AF..and I dont feel good

        yeh, i can relate. you don't deserve it. you sound like you know that.

        there's a lot you can do, starting with the MWO program. You don't have to do everything all at once, just get a go on it.
        Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

        Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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          #5
          7wks an 2days....AF..and I dont feel good

          Hang in there hon. You are a beautiful woman by the way. I came to realize my family brought out a lot of the bad in me and also contributed to my drinking. I had to cut out each and every member for a short period of time so I could gain some self esteem back. I am still not speaking to my sister. It has been almost 4 months and the longest 'fight' we have had. But she is a hypocrit and a horribly selfish person.

          Focus on you. You and your son are your priority. You have made over 7 weeks of being sober so that has to count for something, don't you think. You only have yourself to prove anything to. Aren't you finding your confidence and esteem is coming back a little bit now that you are sober?

          Keep on truckin' down the path of sobriety. You are doing very well. Stand strong, be proud!

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            #6
            7wks an 2days....AF..and I dont feel good

            Keep believing in yourself. They probably do this because that is how they were brought up and may not feel good about themselves either. I hope you feel better soon.

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              #7
              7wks an 2days....AF..and I dont feel good

              Well Keepon, you don't look ugly to me. It is the hardest thing going against your upbringing to break the barriers and come out a different person and it sounds like you are detemined to do it. Okay, it may not feel good to be AF, but it must feel good to feel realistic and to know you can make these changes.

              Self belief is the most important thing.
              One day at a time.. Sometimes it's one minute or one second at a time.. Most important thing is to look ahead and don't look back!

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                #8
                7wks an 2days....AF..and I dont feel good

                Hey Keepon, First and foremost, I wish I looked like you - that is a stunning picture!! So whatever you have been 'taught' or felt about the way you look, you are way out of line.

                I know what you mean about seeing life in a different way when you become sober, some of it is OK to see and other parts are just downright painful. Unfortunately that's just how it is. When I did my first AF stint, I stupidly expected that just by not drinking, my life would magically become fantastic.

                It also takes a whole lot of mental strength to move past family 'patterns' and bad treatment. No one deserves to be ridiculed. I think that if your family or friends are doing that to you, it is them with the problem and not you.
                Stand up for yourself. You have a lovely, bright son and a good stretch of AF days under your belt. You have a right to feel good about yourself!! Rise above them.
                xx
                Amelia

                Sober since 30/06/10

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                  #9
                  7wks an 2days....AF..and I dont feel good

                  Omg, i have just had a BIG realisation. I know i have been saying it, but we are TAUGHT to think certain things about ourselves... OH MY GOODNESS...

                  *Big outward breath*. Now that i know that, i am going to make it my mission to get people to get to know themselves and shed what they have been taught
                  .
                  One day at a time.. Sometimes it's one minute or one second at a time.. Most important thing is to look ahead and don't look back!

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                    #10
                    7wks an 2days....AF..and I dont feel good

                    Exactly!!
                    Amelia

                    Sober since 30/06/10

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                      #11
                      7wks an 2days....AF..and I dont feel good

                      Keepon, congradulations in your awakening. we CAN fee ourselves of the horrible and negative programming that piles up in our mental hard drive. Well done.
                      nosce te ipsum
                      (Know Thyself)

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                        #12
                        7wks an 2days....AF..and I dont feel good

                        Do exactly as you Avator says "Keepon" We are soo proud of you !!! You little boy must be soo proud of his Mom too !! Hugs,

                        ~ I hear a whinny on the wind~

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