so what age

[me145]

so what age

aww starlight, and all of you. doesnt it suck to just not be able to be a social drinker! yes, i feel like my alcohol problems are getting worse, and i think about it everyday. i went out last night and got drunk, not blacking out, but semi drunk, and felt hung over all day. i always said to people, "how do alcoholics do it? how do they grab a drink the next day when theyre hung over. I could never!" the reason i know im getting worse, is because.. i could pick up a beer tonight. i am def getting worse. plan on gonig AF for i dont know how long, havent read the book yet... but soon im going to start. and drag my alcoholic bf in with me. One of you wrote how you drink to number your pain, and u ate sugary stuff when you were little... same EXACT way i feel. i only drink and dont want to stop because when i stop i feel an overwhelming mental depressed sadness.. if i grab the next one my "happy" buzz stays pretty much. but that is dangerous and im realizing it. because in order to stay in tha happy state i have to really keep downing them. i know its all about my happiness. i dont know if its the same for you guys, but i know it for me. for example i had some painkillers from a toothsurgery, and took one while id drink a few times. i got the happiness from the painkiler, and had a few beers and didnt care to keep going and keep drinking. maybe you guys realize this, or maybe you dont because mayber its different for everyone. ok, ttyl!

[Guest]

so what age

I agree that many of us drink to mask underlying depression and to cope with all sorts of stressful situations in our lives.

The thing is, you don`t just automatically find that "everything in the garden is rosy" when you quit drinking, but you`re clear-headed enough to begin to identify and address the issues that caused you to seek solace in the booze in the first place.

Starlight Impress x

[IAD]

so what age

Me145,
I was an Army Brat...lived in Germany where booze was'nt a big deal. Had access all the time. that's where I started. Anyway thought I'ld share. IAD

[trixietrack]

so what age

Dear me145 from what you are posting, it seems that you are a candidate for alcohol addiction. It's good that you are aware of it and plan on taking the right steps to heal yourself. I think people who are genetically predisposed to alcohol addiction have a much harder time getting off the booze, than those who don't. you have all the signs there. I am so glad you are aware and at the early stages, not when it's too late.

I guess I am a social drinker, but have my ups and downs. haven't hit bottom and don't want to, so that is why I came here to teach myself to drink responsibly. Don't like hangovers or the depression and negative thoughts that comes with heavy drinking. not to mention the way I look after a bender. Yucky and puffy

[Beaches]

so what age

Good question.

At 25 I was I had moved to Atlanta and was really having a good time. It was my first time away from family with really no structure. I kind of went crazy. I found that my drinking really increased. I also decided at that time to start counseling which was the best thing that I could have done for myself. I was drinking on weekends and after work.

As I got older the drinking only increased so I think that it's great that you are recognizing a pattern now. The earlier the better. My drinking increased dramatically after I got married and had children. New stresses, different stresses that I wasn't equipped to deal with at the time.

Good for you

[Mags]

so what age

What a terribly interesting thread!!!

I am old enough to be your mother (at least) so will spare you the long sad biography.

I didn't drink at all in high school and drank very little in college (very serious student). When I was in my 20's I began to drink. It kept getting worse slowly over time. Actually not that slowly at all. I was never a weekend party have a good time drinker. I was always a stay at home, hide it from everyone, drink away your problems drinker. My drinking problems were better or worse over the next 20 years. Finally it got the best of me and almost destroyed me.
I am happy to say I have been (almost completely) AF for several years. That was difficult to say the least, but well worth it.

I don't think there is a specific pattern of behavior that leads to problem drinking. It is a very individual thing. The few things we all have in common is that it sneaks up on us and often fools us. And we know we are born with this problem. But that is no excuse for not dealing with it and gettting control over it. It should never be an excuse that this is just "genetic." Yes, some of it is, but we still have the ability to take that drink or not.

I think it is great that you are 25 and already starting to question your behavior. You are a very mature 25 year old. My best advise is to ask yourself if you are

- getting totally wasted when your friends are just getting happy
- drinking alone
- drinking not to have fun but to ease pain
- unable to have one or two drinks and then walk away from the bar
- hiding your drinking from yourself and others

I am not a professional in this field by any means at all. Just trying to offer some suggestions and responses to this thoughful thread. I would recommend that you read as much as you can from the MWO website - our stories, etc. The experience of many others can teach you much more than I can.
Please hang around and let us know what's going on.

[me145]

so what age

Thanks guys! And yes Mag's I know what you are saying about it being genetic but its our decision if we cannot moderate our drinking, than to abstain from it. I remember when I went to NA ( I had the beginning of a cocaine problem a few years ago but I do not anymore) a few times one of the things they said was " Its not our fault we are drinking out of control, that is in our genes, but it is our fault to not do something about it" Maybe not exact words, but something like that. And its true. Ok, yes It is very good that I am aware of this at a young age, im not sure how i am and most others my age are not. because I am right at the point where if it gets worse its going to be very bad. i havent hit that point yet. But it is getting there, im seeing negative consequences. I am not sure how others who drink do not realize they have a problem. i think they are not educated enough about alcoholism and how it basically has stages, an before ya know it, ur doing it everyday and before ya know it, ur body becomes physically and mentally addicted to it. then your like, " oh, shit! "
Im definitely trying the AF thing beginning september. im waiting for my book to come. i went out last night to get pizza and had two glasses of wine with my gf, and then sheslike yeah lets go to the bar for an hour. (the only friend of mine who likes to go out and drink and goes out just about as often as me, and drinks as much as me when we go out. Shes maybe a tad bit behind me, i dont think it runs in her family as much as mine either, butshes just aboutas bad as me, yet i havent suggestedshethink about her drinking, and i know she doesnt THINK she is in any beginning alcoholic stages.. why? i dont know! )so we did, and i didnt care to drink really. i had two beers, but really did not want the second one at all. the reason i had it was because i am in a relationship where my bf is controlling and i can barely see my friends and go out like we used to, so i wanted to make the best of the night. but for some reason i really wasnt having that "gotta have one more" attitude. it was morelike ugh, why did i agree to even come here. im not sure if that feelingof not drinking was because the night before last night i was drunk. so i felt hung over all day. i know it sounds like im drinking a lot. thats what i mean, i used to jsut drink like twice three times the most a week. now its more often because its summer, i have no school or real work, and my boyfriend drinks everyday. and im ALWAYS with him because he s possessive, which is another problem i have in my life, but i wont get into it. And mags, i used to grab Mikes lemonade and bring it to my bfs apartment or whatever, but now i dont really do that anymore. im getting more knowledgable on alcohol, and how i use it to feel happy, to relieve boredom, but after i drink those six mikes, im more miserable. No, i dont think im someone who drinks to "ease the pain". for some reason im not. if im really upset about something i usualy just sit and contemplate life and how it sucks. im takin glutamine, which may or may not be helping with say like last night wherei didnt want to drink anymore. but that really could have been because i was tired and hungover. usually in the pastthough, it doesnt matter how tired i am, if i take that onedrink i just want to keep going. ok this post was long. have a good day guys. good luck, and good job with your af days. its amazing.. this book must be good to help all of you. i hope it works for me... that ., the supplements, and my own willpower....ttyl