Well, this is just about the 4th time I have tried to write this tonight. I could say I keep getting kicked off, but I think it is more like likely that I hit the wrong key from time to time.
I don't want to bore too many people here, but I can say that I have been dealing with a serious driniking problem for about 30 years. I have gone abs and AF in the last few years, but always felt that this was terribly fragile and temporary. Like I was always missing something and somehow being deprived and unhappy. But I managed to do it.
I think my problem was that I always felt very alone. I often thought I was the only one on this planet who was an alcoholic. I honestly think the word alcoholic is too generous a term for my behavior at many times - I progressed to being a disgusting 24/7 drunk for a few years. Very unbecoming a professionaol - but we can often hide it well - for only so long.
This is a story of hope, and I hope many of you listen to it. I was the worst drunk on earth - I almost lost my job and my familly - I actually don't think my family would have left me but I wouldn't have blamed them if they did. I definitely would have lost a very good job which I love if I had kept up with the driniking. Believe me, I started out slow and "innocent" and then did great harm. I was lucky. I dodged some bullets.
I never had faith in my ability to overcome my drinking demon for good until I started meeting my friends at MWO. Until then, I had been AF for a good while, but I always felt that this was such a terribly fragile state- like I was ready to go back to my drinking days at any time. I felt so very alone. Now I know that there are people who are much more nuts than I am, and who can help me laugh about the demons. I feel like I can and want to do this forever!!! Thank you to all my friends. There is hope for me, I know there is.
I don't want to bore too many people here, but I can say that I have been dealing with a serious driniking problem for about 30 years. I have gone abs and AF in the last few years, but always felt that this was terribly fragile and temporary. Like I was always missing something and somehow being deprived and unhappy. But I managed to do it.
I think my problem was that I always felt very alone. I often thought I was the only one on this planet who was an alcoholic. I honestly think the word alcoholic is too generous a term for my behavior at many times - I progressed to being a disgusting 24/7 drunk for a few years. Very unbecoming a professionaol - but we can often hide it well - for only so long.
This is a story of hope, and I hope many of you listen to it. I was the worst drunk on earth - I almost lost my job and my familly - I actually don't think my family would have left me but I wouldn't have blamed them if they did. I definitely would have lost a very good job which I love if I had kept up with the driniking. Believe me, I started out slow and "innocent" and then did great harm. I was lucky. I dodged some bullets.
I never had faith in my ability to overcome my drinking demon for good until I started meeting my friends at MWO. Until then, I had been AF for a good while, but I always felt that this was such a terribly fragile state- like I was ready to go back to my drinking days at any time. I felt so very alone. Now I know that there are people who are much more nuts than I am, and who can help me laugh about the demons. I feel like I can and want to do this forever!!! Thank you to all my friends. There is hope for me, I know there is.
c: :heart:
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