Just wanted to let you know that I'm ok. I'm safe now, and been thinking of you all. Been a while since I last posted and by having a quick look there are loads of new members, so hi to all you newbies.
I've been doing alot of soul searching lately, in particular trying to change my negative outlook on life. I have suffered from depression and anxiety all my life, to the point of attempted suicide, but I seem to have had a little Epiphany lately and alot of things have clicked into place.
I went home to my mom for a while, then moved into my new place, and whilst in her study I found a book called "You can heal your life" by Louise L. Hay. I was bowled over by some of the things she had to say. I haven't even really read a fraction of the book, but I came across this statement in the first few pages and it helped me so much. Louisa says:
"The only thing we are ever dealing with is a thought, and a thought can be changed"
So much of my life has been dictated by what people have thought about me, or rather, how I perceive people have thought about me. I now realise my negative thoughts have been really detrimental to me. I accept now that I cannot change the past. Yes I've been mean whilst drunk and I've let myself and my friends and familly down. But I really feel that if I want to break the cycle I have to "let go" of the past. Not condone my actions, or anyone elses, but just simply let it go.
I have also been reading some of the "Women for Sobriety" literature, where again they speak of negative thoughts. The second statement in their "New Life" program is this:
"Negative thoughts destroy only myself. My first conscious sober act must be to remove negativity from my life"
Anyway, I'm trying, got 9 days af under my belt again and hoping for more.
I don't like to name names because you are all soooo fab, but just a little hi to my mates in the daily abs thread, the "Newbies in Need" guys, Doggie Girl and her interminably long posts (lol, just joking) Lilac, Mellissa and Scoobs. There are many more of you, I wish I could list you all.
I've missed this little family and I'll read, read, read till I catch up.
Hugs,
Kitty
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