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Day 11- Let things get to me

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    #1

    Day 11- Let things get to me

    Well I blew it-

    1)Hubby had job interview today which he did not get- would have changed our lives a lot because he would have had normal hours. I was very upset about this for obvious reasons. Plus I think he sucks at interviews, the way some people suck at taking tests, because he was totally qualified. He has no self-esteem at all. He sent them a freaking thank you e-mail before I had a chance to ask him to send them an e-mail so that he could "resell" himself".
    The ONE thing he did too fast! THANKS FOR NOT HIRING ME! So now we are fighting and hopefully he isn't smoking a cigarette but I am thinking he has had a bit of something at work since he is closing the wine store tonight.

    2)One of my best friends I found out today had a miscarriage at 11 weeks (turns out the little one has been "gone" since 7 weeks, like her last pregnancy, she is a mess, had to have D & E). She had a rough time of it, went for her 12 week ultrasound and found out there). Ugh...

    3)Got a package today from the in-laws for my upcoming b-day. Bottle of wine MIL knows I love was in there along with other thoughtful gifts (they have no idea hubby and I are lushes).

    I know these are all excuses and I need to figure out a way to deal with stress like this, but I didn't expect a bottle of wine to be delivered to me on same day. I wish I had the strength to dump it. Honestly it was too good to dump I should have given it to my neighbor. I think she may be a boozer in the making too which is not good either though.

    Well you know the rest I guess. Back to it tomorrow. Oh and Pansy tried to stop me earlier. Love you xoxo
    Sunny days, sweeping the, clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweeeet!!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to......LOL
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    #2
    Day 11- Let things get to me

    (((Patty)))

    I'm so sorry you had a rough day. I hope you approach this as a minor blip and you get back on track tomorrow, you are doing very well. Hang in there things will get better.

    :h
    Marcie

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      #3
      Day 11- Let things get to me

      Have to learn that stressful situations does not equal booze. Otherwise I will never get over this. My life with Sophie will always be stressful but I have been so happy to be a more "there" mom over the last 10 days.

      That wine delivery was like an invitation and I accepted it. Big mistake.
      Sunny days, sweeping the, clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweeeet!!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to......LOL

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        #4
        Day 11- Let things get to me

        Well if that isn't like the DEVIL himself showing up at your door. So sorry HC! Start again tomorrow. Are you not taking anything to help you along? I would have NEVER been able to go AF on my own.

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          #5
          Day 11- Let things get to me

          Okay, I am going to get on my annoying "positive thinking" bandwagon which I have not done for a while. Happy, I know you are mad at yourself for having the wine, but really, you just did 10 days AF. I have always thought moderation was your goal. If true then a bottle of wine, which in my opinion (and I know many might disagree) is four glasses, you are still doing awesome. Be proud of your 10 days. And if your desire is to be AF then get back there tomorrow. And on top of those 10 days I know you have crammed a lot more AF days in there this year.

          I am sorry hubby did not get the job either but will cross my fingers something opens up for him soon.
          I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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            #6
            Day 11- Let things get to me

            Luv,
            I have plenty of AMMO. I am probably one of the more lucky ones. Supps, Campral, Naltrexone, sleeping pills, etc. Once that package came though, I thought "maybe I'll have this on my b-day", which was wrong. Then all the other shit happened. I know it sounds ridiculous, but if I didn't have all this AMMO I WOULD have to go to detox. I feel like a weak brat because I have all this crap and I still drank. I think the birthday thing in my head just stayed, I think I had already decided I was going to have it then.

            I know you all have done this at one point or another, you think the night before work or something else you don't want to do, wouldn't it be nice if I called in sick and had the day off. Booze or no booze. Once you put it in your head usually you do it. Right?

            That's what happened today and I must get stronger.

            Oh and Lush, I have crammed in maybe 20 other days this entire year. I just saw your post.
            Sunny days, sweeping the, clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweeeet!!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to......LOL

            Comment

              #7
              Day 11- Let things get to me

              Well happy, am Day 20 AF now and I really feel for you...........a favourite btl/wine sent over to your door...........well, who`s to say I wouldn`t have sank a btl tonight if one had arrived at my door either???

              Have been lucky enough to have had no wine in the house these last 20 days..........just can`t trust myself to have it under my nose yet.

              Any of us early AF could so easily succumb if put in your position.

              So, forget it...........be happy with your 10 thus far and get "back to work" tomorrow!!!

              Love,

              Starlight Impress x

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                #8
                Day 11- Let things get to me

                HC

                I have been reading your posts for a while. You are working and trying very hard and making definite progress. If you had not been sent that bottle of wine, you probably would have stayed AF tonight, despite the stress. It was the wrong gift at the wrong time. That sucks. But you know life is just going to do that sometimes. We can never draw a straight line to sobriety. But we can move forward.

                Don't beat yourself up, kiddo. That is a path to feeling like failure and you are most definitely not that. Be proud of what you have done so far and be resolved to keep moving forward.

                Love ya, hon
                Rest in Peace, Bear. We miss you.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Day 11- Let things get to me

                  Star,
                  My MIL is funny this way, she does NOT have a drinking problem at all, she bought a case of wine LAST July 2006 while we visited them in Canada for a week (some members may remember this horrific visit). My hubby and I had gone to a winery and shared this one bottle with them that same night. The fact she still has any is astounding.

                  The wine is called "TWISTED" (not the brand) which is very fitting for my MIL who went and bought a case the day she dropped us off at the airport and we had to stay in Buffalo overnight (weather problems) because they would not come back and get us and my hubby had to walk a mile and back to get my little Sophie food because the hotel by the airport sucked and she was starving.

                  Try to imagine buying a case of wine last July and still having any of it. She won't even let her own husband drink it (They make their own and call it plonk don't ask but only he drinks it and my hubby's 90 year old grandfather). That's how I know she likes me even though she is a mean beeeaaatch and sucks. It's also how I know they have no idea we are boozers.
                  Sunny days, sweeping the, clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweeeet!!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to......LOL

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Day 11- Let things get to me

                    Likes you happy???..........don`t be absurd...........the woman absolutely adores you!!!! LOL

                    Starlight Impress x

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Day 11- Let things get to me

                      HC, You have been so strong and supportive to everyone here. Don't beat yourself up too bad, a little bit maybe, but not too bad. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and get back up on that horse. You had a lot of things thrown at you at once and The Beast jumped at the opportunity. Unfortunately he was one step ahead of you. What matters now is what you do tomorrow. Start over and be even more resolved and aware the next time the SOB sets you up. We're here with you and for you. Have a good nights sleep and check in with us tomorrow. Don

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                        #12
                        Day 11- Let things get to me

                        HC: I'm delighted to read you went 10 days AF. That is such a great accomplishment. I'm proud of you. - Reenie
                        September 23, 2011

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                          #13
                          Day 11- Let things get to me

                          Happy, you are doing so well. This is not a huge deal. Get back on the horse tomorrow.

                          AND to be perfectly honest with you, if I had a delivery of my past favourite beverage show up at my front door, I more than likely would of drank it. Even with all of my AF days this year!! We are all vulnerable. I would of looked for a reason to drink it even if I didn't have one already. Yeah, sad but true. After almost 8 months of 98% AF days, it would be that easy. So don't feel bad.

                          Hang in there. You had a great string of days going. I will send you and your family some 'new, well paid, employment' vibes. Keep strong!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Day 11- Let things get to me

                            xoxoxoxoxoxo to all :h
                            Sunny days, sweeping the, clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweeeet!!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to......LOL

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