I`ve learned a great deal since stumbling upon M.W.O. and getting to know you all, and have learned even more since going AF, 23 days ago.
Perhaps, most life-changing shall be the fact that I`ve finally learned my personal "why" in all of this.
I now know why I spiralled down into a life of alcohol abuse.......very simple, actually...........the alcohol temporarily soothed all the dashed hopes and dreams of my youth.
I am not about to wallow in self-pity.......futile exercise, if ever there was one.
I am about to tell you about what happened to me, or rather, what I allowed to happen to me. Perhaps, this is also what happened to some of you.
My life evolved in such a way, that I became nothing more than an "appendage" to all those dear to me, past and present.
I have been "somebody`s daughter", "somebody`s sister", "somebody`s mother", "somebody`s lover", "somebody`s partner", "somebody`s friend", "somebody`s advisor", "somebody`s confidante". Indeed, I have always been called upon to be "somebody`s rock".........
Sad part is, that throughout all of this, I somehow failed to notice that........
I WAS, AND AM "SOMEBODY" TOO.......
My life to date, has turned out very differently to how I imagined it would..........I had such great aspirations..........very little of which I have accomplished...........life simply became too demanding........all the "somebodies" became too demanding.........
I don`t regret being there for most of the "somebodies".........I was there for them out of love, duty, compassion.........because I wanted to be there for them, really.
I only regret being there for those for whom I was blind enough to allow myself to be "somebody`s fool".
I shudder to think just how I`ve allowed myself to be drunk for 14 out of the last 24 yrs. No point in dwelling on that though, is there?........."No use crying over spilt milk", they say.........so very true.
Am 42 now, and thankfully sober, and as such, I very much look forward to indulging in all that makes this "SOMEBODY" tick..........
Love to all,
Starlight Impress x
Perhaps, most life-changing shall be the fact that I`ve finally learned my personal "why" in all of this.
I now know why I spiralled down into a life of alcohol abuse.......very simple, actually...........the alcohol temporarily soothed all the dashed hopes and dreams of my youth.
I am not about to wallow in self-pity.......futile exercise, if ever there was one.
I am about to tell you about what happened to me, or rather, what I allowed to happen to me. Perhaps, this is also what happened to some of you.
My life evolved in such a way, that I became nothing more than an "appendage" to all those dear to me, past and present.
I have been "somebody`s daughter", "somebody`s sister", "somebody`s mother", "somebody`s lover", "somebody`s partner", "somebody`s friend", "somebody`s advisor", "somebody`s confidante". Indeed, I have always been called upon to be "somebody`s rock".........
Sad part is, that throughout all of this, I somehow failed to notice that........
I WAS, AND AM "SOMEBODY" TOO.......
My life to date, has turned out very differently to how I imagined it would..........I had such great aspirations..........very little of which I have accomplished...........life simply became too demanding........all the "somebodies" became too demanding.........
I don`t regret being there for most of the "somebodies".........I was there for them out of love, duty, compassion.........because I wanted to be there for them, really.
I only regret being there for those for whom I was blind enough to allow myself to be "somebody`s fool".
I shudder to think just how I`ve allowed myself to be drunk for 14 out of the last 24 yrs. No point in dwelling on that though, is there?........."No use crying over spilt milk", they say.........so very true.
Am 42 now, and thankfully sober, and as such, I very much look forward to indulging in all that makes this "SOMEBODY" tick..........
Love to all,
Starlight Impress x
c: :heart:
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