I learned a bad habit years ago.

[paraniod]

I am still struggling with the party time type of drinking. I thought that if I learned to just moderate then I would not have to deal with these horrible feelings and memories after drinking. Anyway, I did it again. I truly hate it. But I let it happen. Once again I was with people that are of the "party pooper" mindset and I honestly don't want people to think that I care if they party. I just fall in because I want to fit in. I am too old to worry about this, but I seriously don't want to be the wet blanket. I chalk a lot of this up to when I was younger I learned to deal with social situations by drinking.
I am once again hating myself.
Oh well, I need to get over it.
I did it to myself.

[Bella]

I learned a bad habit years ago.

I know exactly what you mean Paranoid. I am the same. I also learnt to deal with social situations by drinking. When I decided to stop drinking, I had to avoid the parties, the big boozing nights. I knew I would never be able to moderate on those occassions. Its hard. But if I was to change, I had to change certain situations. I don't go on these drinking nights anymore.

Don't hate yourself. Just try again. This was never going to be easy.

Keep going. Bella xxx

[paraniod]

I learned a bad habit years ago.

Thanks Bella, it is such a hard position to be in. But just tonight my husband and I talked about it and he for once actually sat and talked for a while. We talked about the same kind of thing, of me feeling like a stick in the mud if I don't join in when actually I really don't want to. I am the kind that is happy with a magazine or book or kayak jaunt. I like quietness. But anyway back to the problem he still really doesn't get it, but I think he is trying. He said that we were going to a friends house in Sept. and all I could think of was sitting intheir kitchen and all the bottles of booze sitting on the island. That is what they do, and me sitting there trying to ignore the bottles and join in the conversation when I really just want o be at home in bed with a good book. I guess I really am boring. No wonder people prefer me drunk.
Anyway, I finally told my husband that it just isn't fun when everyone is sitting around laughing and telling stories about the night before when you actually don't think of it as funny.
Thanks Bella I needed some kind words.

[slightlysuze]

I learned a bad habit years ago.

I hope this doesn't sound ridiculous.....but I wonder if you could be at those 'sitting around, drinking' things more easily if you had something to be doing, like needlepoint or crochet? You have to be sober to do that! And maybe you wouldn't be so bored - ok, your friends might have a bit of a laugh at you, but at least you would be 'part of the gang' if the situation is unavoidable, like that September visit? Sorry if this sounds stupid!


I mean....drinking sessions in friends' homes....not in bars LOL!

[beatle]

I learned a bad habit years ago.

Hey, that's a great idea slightlysuze! I am just like Bella and Paranoid... bed and a good book beat parties and booze. But at parties, I feel completely at a loss without 1) a drink -- ok, of course you can drink something non-alcoholic, and 2) keeping up as drunk as the others so I don't feel uncomfortable and unable to join in.
But having something to do with my hands and also something to concentrate on, would be a great help.

2 problems:

1) I can't knit or crochet or anything close

2) I wonder if that would seem rude?... like you are not interested in the company of others and have better things to do. Or they are not worth your full attention.

[YoungAtHeart]

I learned a bad habit years ago.

I wonder if many of us aren't a bit like this when it comes right down to it--even those people who are drinking and yucking it up? I mean let's face it, if everyone was having such a great time getting together without the booze, who would need the booze?

I have found myself to be more shy in social situations without alcohol, even though I am fine with people 1:1. I'm actually enjoying my time alone more than I used to.

At parties, (not that I go to many) I bring along AF wine and drink that. I find that I feel better and it doesn't stir up cravings for me. I will say that I get impatient when people start to get really tanked and it is no longer fun to talk to them. That's when I leave.

Good books beat just about anything for good entertainment!

[hart]

I learned a bad habit years ago.

That really is a hard one. But I find if my hubby resists in a social situation I can to. And someone here posted a while back how interesting it was to see people drinking or drunk when one was sober.....very, enlightening the gist of it was. Maybe we should all just try it to be enlightened. HEY THINK OF THE POSSIBLE BLACKMAIL OPPORTUNITIES!:H

[hart]

I learned a bad habit years ago.

I'm helping BB so bump

[slightlysuze]

I learned a bad habit years ago.

beatle;1829882 wrote: problems:

1) I can't knit or crochet or anything close

2) I wonder if that would seem rude?... like you are not interested in the company of others and have better things to do. Or they are not worth your full attention.

2) Yes, I did wonder about the rudeness aspect....eg reading a book would be really rude, but an elderly lady I used to know was always knitting and she took it everywhere with her and no-one felt offended as it was just 'her' ....the thing is, you can still carry on conversations with people while you do it but it stops your hands from holding a glass LOL

1) Oh dear...that's where this plan falls on its face:upset: :H

Sorry!

[Deilight]

I learned a bad habit years ago.

Hey, I can knit and pay attention at the same time (women are capable of this miraculous act)

Paranoid, I wrote a poem the other day, I'll post it, it's much to do with this.