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    #1

    Partypooping Star........

    I`m sorry........have been reading over the boards for a wee while and not felt able to reply to very much at all. It`s not that I don`t want to reply........you all mean so much to me........I just feel like I have nothing to give any of you tonight........I have nothing to offer.......I constantly wish you all strength, yet tonight I have none of my own.

    It`s all becoming too much for me.

    Maybe I am losing it.......maybe it`s that 3 days away from my first 30 AF stint I am feeling the pressure. And, why am I counting towards 30 days anyway ?.........it`s not like this is all going to be over when I hit 30 days.........there is no "over"........it`s neverending.

    I just want to cry, yet I know that makes me pathetic.
    Maybe it is that I am indeed, pathetic..........
    Tags: None
    #2
    Partypooping Star........

    What you are going through is perfectly normal. You are hitting a 'lul' right now. Just go with the flow. The first 30 are the most difficult and you will be going through a range of emotions. Just stay strong. It is OK to not feel 'enthusiastic' all of the time.

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      #3
      Partypooping Star........

      plz dont feel like that. I need U, we need u. yr imput is so valuable. take a breather get a good night sleep , then i wanna see u back! yeah?? huggs xxxMaxxx
      Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy

      Comment

        #4
        Partypooping Star........

        Its OK. I have not been posting. I have been reading. I am not on as much as I was.Sometimes I get overwhelmed with things I feel I need to be doing like posting daily. I get weepy too. You are not pathetic.You have given much support and are stronger than you think. Much love,bird

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          #5
          Partypooping Star........

          I was the same way, everytime I would come close to hitting a milestone I would get depressed about it. Just learned that each accomplishment needs to have another waiting in line behind it. You will feel better when you hit day 30, and on that day set a goal for yourself---to avoid the lost feeling.
          It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
          James Gordon, M.D.

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            #6
            Partypooping Star........

            (((Star))) You are a strong woman and an inspiration to me. Stay strong, things will get better.

            :l :h
            Marcie

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              #7
              Partypooping Star........

              Star you are probably one of the most insightful, helpful and selfless people on this site. But you are allowed to be in a bad mood sometimes. You are human and should not feel guilty about not being able to help us all every single day. That is not a burden you should put on yourself. Hang in there and let everyone here help YOU for a change! :h
              Sunny days, sweeping the, clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweeeet!!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to......LOL

              Comment

                #8
                Partypooping Star........

                Star,

                Happy Camper is right--don't be so hard on yourself! Who says you have to take care of us ALL THE TIME? You deserve time to be taken care of too, and you are entitled to your down days.

                AFM and Java are right, periodically we can hit a lull, whether it is getting near/achieving a milestone, or just for no apparent reason. This time around, I have had periods where I have felt very responsive to others, as well as some times where I had nothing to offer and didn't post for several days at a time.

                Take care of yourself and your sobriety. The rest will come along in good time, love.
                Hugs,:l
                Kathy
                AF as of August 5th, 2012

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                  #9
                  Partypooping Star........

                  Hey sweet Starlight ... you know this will pass as night becomes the day. Do not sink into it, float past it, cry if you need to, distract yourself, take a bath?, sip some tea?, whatever gives you comfort and, whenever you want talk to us, and take extra, good and gentle care of yourself. You need to replenish yourself, your energy and spirit. That will happen again with time. It's good to be patient with time (I need to remind myself of that frequently). Take good care
                  Cuckoo for Cocoa Puff!!!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Partypooping Star........

                    Star, you came here for help, just as we all did. It is perfectly permissible to have down days-we all do. Everyone has days or weeks where it all seems a bit much, and we aren't as responsive to others as we would like. Give yourself the same gentle hugs we are all sending your way, sleep on it, and look for the sunshine when you awake tomorrow:l :h :rays:
                    Life itself is the proper binge. Julia Child

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                      #11
                      Partypooping Star........

                      Hey hon-

                      It's what they call the end of the "honeymoon phase". You quit drinking and get over those first few hard days & realize "wow, so this is life without alcohol". You realize that life is indeed great without alcohol. You begin to truly live your life. You're feeling great about everything. Then, the honeymoon is over. Happened to me in my 2nd month. I was in a horrible, sad mood. I felt like "so this is it? What now?" But you know what, lasted about a week and things went back to good again.

                      Hang in there girlfriend-it'll pass. Trust me.:l here's a cyber hug from me.
                      :flower: Change a life; make someone feel important. ................. ........................ ..................... ........................ ................. ....... sigpic

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                        #12
                        Partypooping Star........

                        Star,
                        Sometimes we just don't have the UMPH it takes to help others. And what is MOST important is that you help yourself. So, if you have to make a choice, make sure you are helped first. if you have the strength after that to help someone else, do so. If you just don't have it that day...it is ok. Some days I just barely have the willpower to keep myself sobber, so posting good wills to someone else just has to take a back seat. it isn't that I don't wish them well or love them dearly, but I have to think of me and my family first. AND SO DO YOU. You an't help someone else if you are falling apart. So, take a day off, let us help you, tomorrow you will feel better and feel like yourself and be posting away again.
                        Also, you are right to feel upset that this does not end at 30 days...it is forever. And that is hard to think of that way and when you first start realizing that, it is hard. But, it is just a new life. A new GOOD life. Not a bad one...embrace it with happiness and one day at a time. Much love to you...

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                          #13
                          Partypooping Star........

                          Star,

                          If you are feeling drained, then don't post here. You do have to look after yourself first. And don't worry, we will be fine if you decide to take a break..

                          Ups and downs are a part of life and i guess when you don't drink, you begin to feel them. But it's better than a hangover eh?
                          One day at a time.. Sometimes it's one minute or one second at a time.. Most important thing is to look ahead and don't look back!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Partypooping Star........

                            Star, I remember this happening to me right about at 30 days too. And then several times again after that. You have done sooooo well. I have really been noticing you. Please keep on goin. Think about yourself.
                            Gabby :flower:

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                              #15
                              Partypooping Star........

                              Hang in there, Starlight. Take care of yourself. Turn the lights down, light a few candles, make a cup of your favorite tea...whatever calms and relaxes you. Tomorrow is another day. Sometimes the blues hit hard and fast, but can disappear just as fast. Be good to yourself.

                              Julie

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