Everybody Hurts...

[Finding My Self]

Everybody Hurts...

Neil - thanks again. Good to hear your ideas for weekend - hows it going/gone? Sounds like a 'growth spurt' to me.....hope it's good on the other side of it...as in even better than now... You've got a whlie under your belt now haven't you? Perhaps the intensity is jsut living life on all cylinders - noticing everything and not being in that fog is quite freaky at times I find!! Wonderful but more like being 'on something' more that I ever felt ' on something' for real!! Spookily amazing!
Good luck to you anyway - thinking of you and again, thanks for the words.
F x

[satori]

Everybody Hurts...

xtexan;186067 wrote: Sometimes, I just get so darn intense on this sobriety thing. I mean all the things I've been doing for myself. Absolute intensity, without a let-up.

It just sort of felt like maybe I should rest or something for a bit. Not anywhere close to wanting or needing a drink, but I've been working on this thing so long, so hard.

Maybe just a little battle fatigue that's all.


Neil

Neil - I already can relate to the "battle fatigue" thing - and I am only 7 months in - (moderating at first) with only the last 41 days AF.
Been craving recently and it sometimes seems like it might just be easier to give in and have that beer.
(I didn't BTW! - I WILL beat this SOB!)

I kind of assumed it wd get easier by 600+ days!

You are an inspiration to us all - you lead - we follow - your strength inspires us all!

But I think I may be a little depressed now!



Satori

[beatle]

Everybody Hurts...

Losing My Religion

I heard that in the south of the U.S., "losing my reilgion" means going crazy (like "losing my marbles"), which changed the song's meaning a bit for me, though not too much.

Anyone can confirm this?

[SK8RGRL]

Everybody Hurts...

Satori you are doin so so well and I always love your posts. This is what scares me with this"problem" we have. it doesnt matter whether you go a week, 2 weeks, a month, 6 months, it will always controll. us and invade our thoughts. It really never gets better / easier does it. I know that at least coming here its in the fore-front of our minds and therefore we are better able to deal with it but I do get dispondent when I think it will always have this hold. Stay strong satori xxxMaxxx

[Flip]

Everybody Hurts...

That's just simply NOT TRUE Maxine!!!

Everyone is different and that is xTexans experience. mine is very different to his. I'm nearly 9 months sober and I hardly ever think of drinking, and I don't struggle any more. I do think that sometimes I might be tempted in the future, but I try not to think about that and work on the "one day at a time" theory. IF that problem arises then I will deal with it then.

[satori]

Everybody Hurts...

Thanks Maxine - LOL - I won't give up on this - but it DOES take effort.

Flip - I too go for days without a care in the world - no thought of drink - then BAM - big time craving!

I usually just do something else and it goes away - but the beast is getting a bit more insistent the last few days!

I may have to start up the Kudzu again if things don't improve!

Love

Satori
ccc

[xtexan]

Everybody Hurts...

Hi y'all:

I'm afraid some of you misunderstood where my head is at here.

I still feel great physically and mentally. There is no craving here at all, and in fact the thought of alcohol makes me a bit sick to my stomach right now.

No, this is more of a emotional state where I need to stop and "smell the roses" as it were. Don't get me wrong, I was amazed that I had that reaction when I heard that song. This just tells me that something deeper inside may be healing now. Very deep. Something that many may not be able to understand just quite yet in their journeys.

I do have a couple of email friends, who don't post so much on the forum anymore, that have more AF time than me. They know what I am talking about with this. The healing happens in cycles, up and down. The lows are not as bad, and the highs are not as high. The cycles begin to get longer and longer in duration. But the even ground is what we seek. The still waters.

Satori, do not get discouraged!! Maybe I took a little dip there, but it's miles above where I was at 7 months. Miles and miles. Not struggling at all with the demon right now, and firmly committed to finding new growth.

Someone on this forum once wrote that the first 3 years of sobriety are hell. There are books out there that go into the different things that happen over the first years, so I am not discouraged at all!! In fact, I glad that I'm experiencing these things, because it tells me I'm on the right path to total recovery. Remember Mel Gibson? Years and years of AF, and then BOOM!! That is because I believe he did not root out the core psychology of the problem. That is hard excruciating work, and that's what I was referring to. Maybe a little break just to enjoy things for a bit before continuing on.

Please know that I am good here. But this is the truth of things as best as I can describe it.

Be well.

Neil

[Accountable for Me]

Everybody Hurts...

Neil, glad that you are doing OK. The battle does not only involve the actual fight against putting the alcohol to our lips but it is indeed a psychological one as you described. Years and years of suppression of these feelings. Of any feelings really.

It is good to be in touch with what is going on emotionally. Take some time like you said and do the meditation, and such. There will be highs and lows for sure. I read as well the first 3 years are he**. The same with quitting smoking my father tells me.

You are doing so well my friend!

[Cinders]

Everybody Hurts...

Neil,

Thank you so much for sharing.

For those of us just starting out on this path to wellness, it is good to hear and know that our travels will take time and patience and hard work are necessary for a long time to come. I will keep your words in mind as I go work through these same issues.

I wish you much continued physical, mental and spiritual healing.

Cindi

[Deilight]

Everybody Hurts...

My best friend in high school wrote that song out for me, she used to irritate me SO because she was always happy, and I mean ALWAYS.

[southernbelle47]

Everybody Hurts...

Beatle..
"loosing my religion"....
In my south means to give up your salvation (from eternity in hell)and worship "other" gods. Or put someone or something in the place reserved for the one true living God.
Different denominations have a variety of view points on the subject.

Neil.....I knew you were ok.... but glad that you came back and shared some more.
I know when we get sober "feelings and emotions" that have been "stuffed" down begin to come back up and I do think that is a healing thing and an ongoing process.
If they all flew back up at once, we wouldn't be able to deal with them.
Some very good thoughtful post here!
Thanks guys.
Love.
Nancy

[Happier]

Everybody Hurts...

Alcohol just consumes your mind and takes over all your thoughts.
I took my dog for a late walk last night and looked up at the sky and the moon was just beautiful. It was almost a full moon and the clouds were just flying by and I thought, "why me?" "When did alcohol become the grim reaper in my life?"
I don't even like the taste of it so why do I drink it? Since MYO I really, really cut back and now my goal is AF. Actually yesterday was my first day. But I always have those first days.
I always have to pick out the perfect sounding date. 8-27-07 sounds like a good number.

Oh and then I have that song in my head all morning when I am getting ready for work "Everybody hurts..........

See ya Grim Reaper!