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    #1

    BACK TO BASICS

    I guess this system only works to the extent that you use it, so I'm posting an update. It's all part of 'coming out of hiding' for me. I have been made to feel so welcome here that it seems hard to believe I only signed up last Thursday ... This feeling of support was just what I needed. Lots of laughs on these boards too ... and international fraternity ... :l

    I sat in a D & A treatment group (SMART) yesterday, for the first time in over 2 years. Driving home, I was in a very uncomfortable state, yet seemed unable to put any feelings to it.

    Today I realise that I'm a bit dismayed to see addiction so prominently on the table again . It's a sinking feeling, like 'been here, nothing's changed' - a back to square one type of feeling, although rationally I realise I'm not back at the beginning. Even reading a little from the SMART handbook this morning was a reminder that quitting a harmful habit 'is not usually an event but rather involves going through a series of stages'.

    Last night on Austar they aired a US series called Intervention, about people confronting their addictions and getting help. What struck me was the lengths to which we go to escape, and the relief we feel when we realise we can choose help and support instead.

    I sat there in the dark, with my husband sleeping softly next to me, watching this woman on the show cry, watching this woman fall down drunk and thought: it doesn't have to be this way, for any of us. We can choose something different.

    I've ordered the book. I'm on some good supps. Can't wait to be able to afford the CDs. Still thinking about the meds.

    Hope this share wasn't too long.
    Thanks to all of you for helping me feel like I'm not in this alone.

    Kyna
    Kyna
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    #2
    BACK TO BASICS

    Hi Kyna-

    A plan & a goal~and all the strength you can muster. It's the decision to say either alcohol is in control of my life or I'm in control of my life. And that's the toughest since alcohol has been a crutch for many of us for so long yet we long to live the life we deserve and are afraid to let go. But the more AF days you get the more empowered you become.
    :flower: Change a life; make someone feel important. ................. ........................ ..................... ........................ ................. ....... sigpic

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      #3
      BACK TO BASICS

      Kyna, you seem so motivated and thoughtful that you are an inspiration to us all. In fact, I find an awful lot of inspiration in the posts from "newbies".
      Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

      Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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        #4
        BACK TO BASICS

        Kyna, I truely love your attitude and desire to get a handle on alcohol.. In the supps you do have I'm hoping that one of them is MWOs' Kudzu... It helped me soooo much ! I wish you luck and enjoyed your thread thank-you for sharing.

        ~ I hear a whinny on the wind~

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          #5
          BACK TO BASICS

          hi Kyna

          yeah, you don't want to be falling down drunk like the people on Intervention. None of us do.

          You sound great. Can you keep us posted on SMART recovery? I have heard about it and am wondering how effective it is.

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            #6
            BACK TO BASICS

            These sure are active boards. I posted my update yesterday and when I checked in this evening I had a job tracking where it had gone!

            Thanks Breeze, Beatle, Niblet, Nancy for your kind words and encouragement. To answer you Niblet, no, I haven't got on any kudzo yet, but am very keen to try it ... I had an appt. with my D & A counsellor today - very challenging ... but felt so thrilled to tell him about discovering the MWO site ... He was very interested, esp. as there are more than a few of us on his books who just can't gel with the AA approach ...

            Spent a couple of hours in glorious sunshine (summer's come early here) around town (beach area) ... and made a detour on the way home to my fave bookshop. Thrilled to find an 'Overcoming Addictions ' Hypnotherapy CD (by Glenn Harrold; a Brit hypnotherapist) - as I don't have a (clear) credit card to order the MWO ones just yet.

            Listened to the CD this afternoon and am VERY impressed ... this stuff may work!
            Feeling very encouraged, and so grateful that all of you guys are out there going through variations of this too ... Nancy, thanks for your interest in SMART - I'll post some details in a separate msg ...

            Kyna
            Kyna

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              #7
              BACK TO BASICS

              Sounds like you are doing really really well Kyna, so pleased for you. Yes, that realisation that you are (still) an addict is hard to deal with. I can't believe it happened to me!

              There is a saying (don't know where it originates) but it says' When you wish to learn, a teacher will appear' That is how I feel about my own recovery, at each stage or issue I face, something turned up to help me. Could all these things that have confronted you could be part of the things that you need to learn the lesson. ?
              It always seems impossible until it's done....

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                #8
                BACK TO BASICS

                Kyna, you sound great and I just want to welcome you because I haven't done that yet. You have a really good attitude and are so motivated and motivating to other members.

                I have been taking the Kudzu and L Glut and it really works for the cravings.

                PS I love the show Intervention as well and look forward to it every Friday night. It really is an eye opener.
                "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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                  #9
                  BACK TO BASICS

                  Kyna, sounds like you are getting a plan in place and you are ready to make a change. We are here for you!
                  Marcie

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                    #10
                    BACK TO BASICS

                    Thanks Beaches and Flip for your input ...
                    You put your finger right on it Flip, regarding the displeasure about being an addict.

                    Seems I keep coming back to this point, and I just don't want to accept it - even though all the evidence is there ... I keep trying to wish myself normal - keep trying to drink like everyone else. Must be a slow learner! I did this with dope for years and years - bargaining and relapsing - so I recognise the pattern. It's been over five years now since I gave up smoking (anything) - and that was the big one - so if I can do that ...

                    And yes, I guess all the teachings are there - no accident that Intervention was on that night ...

                    Kyna
                    Kyna

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                      #11
                      BACK TO BASICS

                      Thanks Memarcie ... just following my nose ..!
                      Kyna

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                        #12
                        BACK TO BASICS

                        Back to the first page

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