Please help, I'm so unhappy

[Bella]

Hi All.

I'm sorry to post when I'm feeling this way. I just wanted someone to say something nice. I'm not in the best way at the moment. I am not getting on with my husband. He goes out drinking with his friends and I'm feeling more and more alone, especially alone in my head. I can feel myself pull away from everything and its scaring me. I find it hard to talk about my feelings so I hide them and pretend all is very well. I am drinking a bit but not too much and I'm pregnant. I've got the 'Black Dog" (depression) coming back to me. I can feel it. My life is not good at the moment. I feel like I'm slipping down into a hole and I'm not feeling like helping myself.

I log onto MWO every day and I can't post replies to anyone as I feel I've got no help to give. So I just read and read. I don't want to pick up the phone when it rings and that is a sure sign somethings up with me. I hate my husband. He says such cruel things. I don't even want this baby anymore. I just want to get drunk. That is how I have dealt with this in the past. Please help. I can't go to the Drs as he will just give me pills and I'm not getting back on them in my condition.

Thanks for listening.

Bella xxx

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Hi Bella,

My husband drove me to drink too. I put up with it for about 15 years, sober during both pregnancies and well always sober. Then one day, I just cracked, it was either kill myself or start drinking....and drink I did. I know how words can wound and scar, the pain is awful. And sometimes these sociopathic types "charm" the world but with those they are intimiate with...those are the ones that know the real deal....Hell on earth.

My advice, since you are pregnant, would be to check into a hospital my dear. Ya gotta protect the innocent baby from all the stress and anxiety and self medication.

I know how much it hurts, I really do.


Luvya,


Myheart:heart:

[SK8RGRL]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella, I wish I could help. I have lots of issues like you and I think depression and low self esteem go hand in hand. The more depressed you feel the lower your self esteem and confidence becomes until you feel like nothing. have you tried talking to yr husband. probably a stupid question. You have to talk to someone. I really think you should go to the doctors. he cant make you take the tablets he may be able to offer an alternative.I took antidepressants for years and decided I didnt want them any more( I was just as much a nutcase on them as I am off them) . You also need to talk to your husband again and tell him how you feel regarding the baby. Its his baby too, and if it means anything to him, he should listen to you. If you cant do any of these things, be sure to keep coming here. I had a bad time a while ago,(BF issues) and whilst I felt unable to do anything about it at the time, the responses and the help I got here really did help me see things in a better prospective. PM me too any time, just let us help. xxxMaxxx :hug:

[Flip]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella, don't know what to say sweetie. Just know that you are loved here and have our support for whatever you decide to do.

[Beaches]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella, I hope you start feeling better soon. Once depression gets it fingers curled around you it's hard sometimes to see the other side. I agree that maybe just talking to your dr would be good, I know you don't want to go back on medications because you are pregnant but there must be another alternative.
Wish I had something more constructive to say. Just know we are here for you.

[beatle]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Poor Bella, how awful I feel for you. I have been through those "not-answering the phone" days.

Have you had a fall-out with your husband, or is this an ongoing thing? Do you think it's related to the baby? (Some guys crack over that, with subconsious feelings of fear).

It is so sad to not want your baby. Maybe it will help to think of it as YOUR baby, who you will have, with or without your husband. Just an idea.

I also think you should see a doctor. Depression rarely gets better all by itself. As others say, maybe there are alternatives to pills. I heard tryptophan (or 5-HTP) is just as good to ease depression as SSRI antidepressants.

And please try to open up and get your feelings out, yes to us, but also to your husband and anyone you can trust. And keep coming here and telling us what's up.

Sorry that't the best I can do.
We are all here for you.

[Guest]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella,
My dear friend....try and remember when you first found out you were pregnant...you were so happy. I personally did not enjoy being pregnant...I LOVE my children and love the baby when it gets here but actually being pregnant, I hated. Some women love it, I didn't. Try to focus on the end result...a happy, healthy baby. You have done everything within your power to ensure that.
As for hubby, maybe he needs a swift kick in the butt. Tell him how you feel. He may not have a clue. Tell him how hard it is for you to see him having a grand ol' time while you are struggling. He helped make this baby, he needs to make sacrifices with you to get him here healthy.
Much love to you ...hugs!

[Breez]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella-

Just want to give you a big cyber:l Hang in there.

[Bella]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Thankyou. I can barely see the screen as I'm trying really hard not to sob. what an arse I am. I have tried to explain to my husband that I'm finding it hard at the moment but after ranting on he ignores me. I hate not talking. I think I just have to talk to you. My son is in the other room and I don't want him to see that I'm upset. I have to get a grip. I hate feeling so alone. Thankyou for being kind. Bella xxx

[SK8RGRL]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Yes! talk to us . we wont ignore you. My BF can be the same he will listen, nod in all the right places, then go upstairs on his X-Box! I think its in their genetic make up.

I take 5HTP and have just started on GABA. not sure about the 5htp but GABA sure hits a spot. you will have to see if its ok to take them, but must be less damaging than the drink. xxxMaxxx

[CAPRICORN1]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Hi Bella

Keep coming here. Yes, we will not ignore you. I know the feeling all to well as i am in one of those relationships and feel the same as you described...ignored, not validated or important, and like anything i have to say about anything must be wrong. It is awful for the sel-esteem...being pregnant alone would make me feel bad enough. I feel for you as i am not pregnant, but know what kind of mind-games a man can play and the effect it can have.

Bella, try to be good to yourself. I try to always remember that things always seem darkest before the light. And they usually do, sweetie.:l

cap

[Cinders]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella,

Yes, keep coming on and talking to us!!

I feel so badly because you are feeling so blue. :huggy

What would make you feel better? Do you know what you want from your hubby in a concrete way? Men tend to be literal types. Perhaps if you tell him concrete steps he can take to help you, he might listen.

Nonetheless, take care of yourself, Bella. You have a beautiful little one inside just waiting to burst out and add joy to your life!!

:h
Cindi

[Niblet]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella Hon, you're not alone... We are all with you.. And love you very much... Hope that today is a great day for you... Many Hugs to you,

[AMELIA]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Hey Bella, yep we are here for you if you want to rant at us.
You do sound a little depressed and isolation will only add to that. I know you don't want to answer the phone some days, but maybe that's the best thing that you can do.
Why can't your man take you out to the movies or something to get you both out and about?
Thinking of you

xx

[meditation mama]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella, Stay with us... I know you are sad right now, and that you feel like you are alone in your house, but you have to get strong for yourself and for your children! If it takes going to the doctors,or going to a tharapist, a women's support group, maybe just get out for some fresh air. It is that important. And I know you don't want to be drinking while you are pregnant. I remember how happy you were when you found out you were pregnant -remember those thoughts.. You and your children come first and you need to do whatever you need to do to keep yourselves healthy. Your husband is his OWN person, he is an adult and will do whatever he does. His actions should have nothing to do with how happy you are - that is up to you. Sounds like he is being an arse! We are all here for you. We love you!!

Stay close...

MM