Please help, I'm so unhappy

[nancy]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Hi bella

Sorry you are so down!

Maybe there is something natural you could take? Aren't you close to the end? you need to take care after birth to avoid post partum depression.

It's awful when depression creeps up. you feel like you are unhappy sure, but depression is an illness. sometimes you have these horrible feelings of doom and of seeing everything from an unrealistically negative point of veiw.I really urge you to talk to your doctor about this to see if there is anything you can do. Are you eating well? i wonder if the risks of drinking are worse than risks of taking anti-depressants.

about your husband,he needs to know about this too and I think what Cindi said is right, he needs to told concrete, literal things he should be doing to help.

also, you need family! Can someone come stay with you for a little while? where is your mom in all this? sister? or could you go visit for a few days? you probably need to be babied for a few days.

hang in there and keep posting.

[Guest]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella, you know we are here for you. Wish I lived closer, I would come rescue for the day and have a girls day out...lunch and shopping. ALWAYS does the trick for me. You come rant, rave, whatever you need, whenever you need!!!!! Whatever it takes to keep you sane and sobber!!!! We are here....don't ever forget. You are not alone!! NOT EVER!!!!

[Happier]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella,
This sounds serious and I would really advise you to talk to your Dr.
Nancy is right because you need to avoid postpartum depression after the baby is born.

Your baby already loves you and needs you! When women have postpartum depression they never bond with their babies. I know you didn't really mean it when you said that you didn't really want the baby anymore. That was just the sad Bella talking.
Your baby needs you healthy and happy so your baby can be healthy and happy too!

Don't be ashamed to tell the Dr. how depressed you are because this is a serious medical condition. Don't you think your baby deserves this?
Sending you hugs Bella xxoo

[Accountable for Me]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella, are you isolating yourself? Are you getting out at all? I know when I tend to hide out from the world and already very prone to depression I get more depressed. And as Beatle has said depression rarely goes away on it's own.

Can you make an appointment with your doctor anyway? Just to ensure you are OK. I know you don't want any more pills but the alternative really is your possible spiraling out of control and hitting the bottle hard.

Do you have a local recreation centre/pool... or are there any classes you can take for free for expecting mom's? I know here we have classes for women who are expecting and it is a good way to go and meet other women for free. You can even bring your other children.

Or can you take your son to a rec. centre for a couple of hours and go swimming?

You need to get out, love. :l

[Deilight]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella all I can say is you MUST TALK TO SOMEONE, ANYONE. THere must be someone out there who you can trust and talk to. DON"T isolate yourself- that's the worst you could do, answer the phone, don't feel ashamed that your'e unhappy, you're ALLOWED to be unhappy and you're ALLOWED to be angry. But PLEASE talk to someone. REALLY TALK!!

[betty boop]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

:l :l :l :l Bella love, You will get through this, I too suffered with depression and didn't answer the phone, I didn't open letters either!! It does pass, Have you thought about reflexology, It really worked for me .......

Sorry that I can't be more help ...

Love ya, BB xx

[Bella]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Hello. I'll be ok. I am isolating myself. Thats what I do. Everyone including my husband thinks everythings fine. I just carry on and slowly but surely I slip down. I can feel it happening. today I have spent the afternoon under a blanket. I try to sleep but I just can't and so I wallow in my own misery. Its like I cant help myself. I know I should go out but I can't. My son is playing alone and I tell him the baby is making me tired and I need to rest. I feel I probably should tell this to the Dr as before I was pregnant I was on medication with mod to severe depression but I can't bring myself to at the moment. I feel ashamed of feeling like this. Like I should pull myself together.
I don't have my mother or my sister living near and even if I did I would not tell them how I feel.

It feels good to tell you all this. I am okay really. I will be better tomorrow.

thankyou for all your wonderful words. I can not express how helpful you are to me.

Bella xxx

[lushy]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella, there is nothing to be ashamed about. I know it is so hard but please make the effort to call your doctor and see what he would recommend. I had such severe postpartum depression so I can relate to what you are feeling. It is the worst feeling in the world, but it is not your fault. It is a combination of hormones, life stressors, etc. The more you focus on the depression the worse it will get. You need a lift. I know easier said than done but please take care of yourself and the baby, okay? :l

[irishlady]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella, my heart goes out to you, BUT, you have to get some help now with this, you must speak to your doctor or midwife about your feelings, you owe it to three people, your son, your unborn child and yourself..

When I had my daughter 34 years ago, I suffered with post natal depression for two years!!.. All that time ago no one really spoke about it, it was something to feel ashamed of, after all, here you were with this beautiful helpless baby and you felt DEPRESSED, so I buried the feeling and pretended, like you are now, that all was well.. Eventually I came through it but I firmly believe that those first two years stopped me developing a proper relationship with my daughter and the guilt of my feelings from 34 years ago haunt me to this day, I wish with all my heart that at the time I had had the courage to go and see my doctor, I would hate for you to feel the same in years to come, so please, get some help with this..

Lots of love, Louise :h

[Guest]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella honey..........I know things are difficult right now, but try to look ahead.........you`re guaranteed to have a better Christmas than all of us at M.W.O. put together...........you`re going to have your precious new-born son..........a baby for Christmas, Bella..........sure, some of us may get designer goodies and allsorts of beautiful gifts, but not one of us, save for yourself, are getting a Christmas baby boy..........the greatest gift of all.

Now, just tell that hubby of yours to curb the time he`s spending with "the boys" and start lavishing some extra special attention on his sweet wife, his son, and his unborn, or I`ll just have to fly over and tell him myself, and I can assure you, he wouldn`t like to have me to contend with!!! LOL

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[southernbelle47]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella..
You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Your hormones and your body are working overtime.
I'm glad that you came out and asked for help here. That is a very important step....knowing that you need it.. Is there a crisis hotline you could call in your country?
Just talk to someone person to person.
Sometimes (always.. duh) men don't know what to do to help it get better. They are made so different from women. You need to talk to women about your feelings and no it is NOT your fault that you feel sad.
Hug your son and get the phone book out and look for a "Hotline"....any kind will get you started.....Hospitals and health deptments ?
You are not alone.....
:l Nancy" Belle"

[memarcie]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

:l :l :l Bella,

Thinking of you

:l

[Mags]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella, my love, you know how much you mean to me. I hate to see you feeling like this. You are acting just as I did when I was in a very serious depression that I needed a lot of help from others to get out of. Please try to get some help. You need a GOOD psychiatrist or psychologist - a professional who not only will listen but will help you learn to deal with these feelings. There is nothing, nothing, at all to be ashamed of - we all need help at times and I think you need some help now. I want you to enjoy your baby and your life together with your children.

You should get in touch with a women's support group - maybe call the local hospital and see if they have a post partum depression group of some kind or if they have a doctor on staff who treats or can recommend someone who treats women's psychological problems. You don't just want to get a shrink out of the phone book. You need a professional who understands these uniques problems.

My midwife used to always say how terrible it was that society always made pregnant women feel like they had to act so happy and excited about the baby when actually most women are somewhat fearful and pregnancy is a time that brings to the surface a host of psychological issues that we successfully bury during the rest of our lives. It can be a tough time for many women. It was for me.

I hope that you can find a counselor who understands these things and who can truly help you. Please promise me (You know I'm your friend - You GOTTA promise me or I'll come whup yer ass) you'll look for someone and report back to me. I'll send you a PM.

:h :h :h :h

[happycamper68]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella, please call the doc. There are safe things to take while you are preggers. Find out what they are. How far along are you now. I know hubby problems suck but you have to get this child healthy and it won't get any easier after the baby is born. I hope you can get a handle on this so you are not a drunk mom like I was so early on after the birth. Good luck hon and please think of the baby. Do you know the gender, if you can give it a name it may help. :h

[julie001]

Please help, I'm so unhappy

Bella,
It's difficult to fight the urge of alcohol. I certainly know that. But you have a tiny little being that is counting on you to do just that. How you treat yourself during your pregnancy could affect your child's life forever (unless it's just an occasional drink once in a while). Be strong. Don't think about your hubby out drinking. Pregnant women really do just put there lives on hold.That's something men will never have to deal with, but that could be a good thing. Think of it as non-issue. You could have months where alcohol is not allowed to be a part of the equation. Be strong. Wouldn't it be nice to not be thinking about alcohol on a daily basis? That's what drives me to change. I don't want to wake up every day thinking about when I can have a drink. And you don't have to deal with the guilt. The fact that you are having this inner debate and sharing with us is telling. You want things to be different. Keep striving. Your can do this! Please, let us know how you are doing.
Julie