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    #31
    Please help, I'm so unhappy

    Hi Bella,
    I just read this post and I know just how you feel. When we're pregnant we try to carry on as if nothing has changed when in fact your body and emotions can be all over the place. We feel like we're not doing enough for others when what we really need is to be looked after some of the time. If your husband won't talk then shouting and screaming may be necessary to get him to see you need him. When I'm not pregnant I deal with tough days either by drinking or running and its tough when you can't do these things. I've been drinking too, not much but it still makes me feel bad and then I think constantly about alcohol, I guess thats why I haven't been on here much. So if you can find away to stop it completely then that would help as I know very well that whilst one drink may not lead to the next whilst pregnant the desire and the battle to not have it is still there.
    Someone else mentioned swimming, thats a good idea especially if someone could have your son whilst you swim for half an hour, thats what I've been doing and it makes a big difference.
    Are you taking a prenatal multi vit? Try that with some extra vit B complex, its good for mood and also to replace any destroyed by alcohol, same goes for omega 3's, good for your brain and also the babies. Lots of fruit and veg too, I tend to have bad days when I go for too much wheat and dairy.
    In my last pregnancy I was helped out of my depression by a homeopath, she works online from India and is excellent. Her website is Welcome to Homeopathy 2 Health
    Take care of yourself, take some you time, it won't hurt your son to play on his own for a while.
    Keep in touch, much love
    Suz
    Suz
    Happy to be sober since 07 Sept 09.

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      #32
      Please help, I'm so unhappy

      Bella,
      I was just checking in to see how you are feeling.

      Hope you are doing better.:huggy

      Happier

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        #33
        Please help, I'm so unhappy

        Hi, Bella.. Just thinking of you and checking in.. Post when you can to let us know how you are feeling, OK?

        Namaste,

        MM
        Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

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          #34
          Please help, I'm so unhappy

          Hi Bella,
          I don't really know your situation. Pregnancy can be tough. You really want everything to be perfect for the baby and of course more often than not it isn't. And you may look at your life and feel that you aren't were you should be and that maybe the man you are with isn't the one you wanted to be the father of your child. And than there is alcohol who at least lets you forget for a short while that you don't like this situation. But that doesn't mean you don't like this baby.
          You are in a tough place at the moment and I know you say you don't like pills. But why not? John Lennon once said, whatever gets you through the night. It's pretty good advice, you know. You are depressed, my dear. Antidepressants can at least make you feel a bit better and help you deal with things at this time. They will not solve any problems, but at least you will be able to interact with people, family and friends, who maybe can help you. And it might help give you the confidence of tackling things with your husband.
          How far along are you with your pregnancy? Unless you are in first trimester I am sure any GP would be happy to prescribe an antidepressent for you.
          Do let me know how you are getting on.
          This blackness is awful. I know, I have been there, still take Prozac every day.
          Take care.

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            #35
            Please help, I'm so unhappy

            bella hope you come out of this darkeness soon. be strong. hope you get better.
            Please keep us posted.

            trix
            You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

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              #36
              Please help, I'm so unhappy

              Bella posted a thread on the 17th in General, titled "This puzzles me...".

              She`s doing very well now and very excited to be meeting her new baby boy just before Christmas.

              Starlight Impress x

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                #37
                Please help, I'm so unhappy

                Hi Bella,

                Hope you are feeling a little better since you posted. If the old "black dog" is really coming back - clincally - you should really think about antidepressants even though I know you don't want to- I know at least 4 women who took them during (and after) pregnancy to treat their depression and also to lessen the chances of post-natal depression (been there done that!). You don't want to be depressed during or after your pregnancy, especially after. At group therapy after I had Sophie they kept telling us "post-natals" that a happy mother (well relatively, you don't have to be cloud nine-ish!) makes a happy baby. And that is so true. If you are panicky and distressed you baby will pick up on that. If you are calm (most of the time - sleep deprivation takes it's toll obviously) your baby will pick up on that. You are more likely to be able to get yourself and baby into a good routine if you are well. Doctors and midwives (well not all but the ones I saw) tend to deal with the pregnancy and not tell you about what happens after the birth of your child. PND is horrible, be prepared, read up on the warning sighns, and don't forget that you can take antidepressants if you need to - they are less harmful than alcohol during pregnancy - and they will allow you to enjoy your time with your baby after it is born. I can't remember the first 6 months of Sophie's life due to depression. Don't let that happen to you - it's such a precious time, and you will want to be well for it.

                I'm still posting this here cause I don't want anyone I know to have to go through what I did. You really need to look at the facts about the risks of post-natal depression in those who suffer depression at other times in thier lives.

                Lotsa love

                Cashy

                PS Don't mean to frighten you here - it's just a fact that those who suffer from depression are more vulnerable to post-natal depression - talk to your Dr and weigh up the risks and benefits of treating your depression now. And take care of yourself first and foremost. That way you will be able to take care of your baby.
                "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans" - John Lennon

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                  #38
                  Please help, I'm so unhappy

                  Oh and....

                  Having post-natal depression does not mean that you never bond with your baby - I am living proof - you do, it may take more time than others, but you do, believe me Bella....
                  "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans" - John Lennon

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                    #39
                    Please help, I'm so unhappy

                    Bella, Sweetie, thank-you for allowing all of us into your world.
                    We all here want what is best for you and lil' peanut that will be here soon... I remember how those last couple of months felt physically, and hope that your hubby can try to bite his tongue... You need support and love.. a cuddle to feel safe and special in your world... We are all here and care deeply for your wellbeing... I hope that your days begin to brighten for you sweetie, cause we care and love you very much We will always be here whenever you need us.. We understand how you feel. Hugs to you and I want you to feel special and safe... xxx

                    ~ I hear a whinny on the wind~

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