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Flip's 12 step Program

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    Flip's 12 step Program

    1) I admitted that I was powerless over alcohol ? that it just jumped into my mouth without any assistance and suicided.

    2) I came to believe that there is no greater power than myself and MWO - and anyone who says differently will be bitch slapped.

    3) I made a decision to remove my will and my life from my Dog who just wanted to piss on the trees, sniff butts and crotches.

    4) I made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself and ended up in the nuthouse.

    5) I admitted to my Dog, to myself and to other faceless members of MWO, the exact nature of my wrongs. Sometimes I apologise for not making more.

    6) I was entirely ready for everyone at MWO rid themselves of their defects of character.

    7) I was humble enough to ask the MWO members to remove their shortcomings.

    8) I kept a list of all the MWO people who had harmed me and waited patiently for a chance to get even with them.

    9) I got even with these MWO people whenever possible, except when to do so would get me into trouble too. Even then I was tempted.

    10) I continue to take everyone at MWOs inventory and when they are wrong, which is all of the time, I promptly make them admit it and publicly humiliate them, unless they agree with me on all things.

    11) Sought through gossip and rumours to get my Dog, who doesn't understand me anyway, to see that my ideas are the best and I ought to have superhuman powers to carry them out and run MWO according to the world according to Flip.

    12) Having maintained my emotional problems with these steps I can thoroughly recommend them to others at MWO who don't want to lose their hard earned status, but wish to be left alone to practice neurosis in everything they do for the rest of their days.
    It always seems impossible until it's done....

    #2
    Flip's 12 step Program

    Am I supposed to "Amen" or is this one of those posts I'm supposed to ignore and let fall to the bottom?
    If I ruin my body where will I live? :ranger

    Comment


      #3
      Flip's 12 step Program

      Boy am I glad I am in the Flip fan club. (actually I think I established it.) I'm assuming we all get to keep our shortcomings.
      Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

      Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

      Comment


        #4
        Flip's 12 step Program

        Flip must be eating some of those sprouted grain recipes from the veggo thread.....

        Healthy eating brings healthy thoughts.
        If you do not live the life you believe, you will believe the life you live.

        Comment


          #5
          Flip's 12 step Program

          Flip, you are my hero! You just made me laugh hard!
          Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

          Comment


            #6
            Flip's 12 step Program

            where do disfunctional sponsors fit into this 12 step program?

            Comment


              #7
              Flip's 12 step Program

              What do I have to do so you never feel you have to get even with me? I'm scared shitless here.

              Comment


                #8
                Flip's 12 step Program

                Amen to the 12 steps!
                "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

                Comment


                  #9
                  Flip's 12 step Program

                  And for a comparison if you like here are the other one's

                  The 12 Suggested Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
                  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.

                  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

                  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

                  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

                  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

                  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

                  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

                  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

                  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

                  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

                  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

                  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
                  "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Flip's 12 step Program

                    Follow Rot's suggestion and let this thread float to the bottom please. Flip's head is getting a little too big these days.
                    I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Flip's 12 step Program

                      very well done ... cheered me right ... especially item #4 ... nice work Flip!
                      Cuckoo for Cocoa Puff!!!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Flip's 12 step Program

                        I'm sure the real ones work for some people. As to me? Emotional response to almost all of them would be guilt. I hate feeling guilty, so I drink to not feel.... As to higher powers - nope wouldn't work for me, though I do think belief (even if it's 'only' the belief that you are strong enough not to drink today) is really important.

                        Do love the spoof ones though am not sure how effective they are for people other than their originator. Ok, forget I said that, I didn't mean it, honest....

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Flip's 12 step Program

                          cute, flip (I now assume that 'flip' is short for 'flippant'?)
                          Hugs,
                          imatree

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Flip's 12 step Program

                            I think these are fantastic!!!

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Flip's 12 step Program

                              Please, for Dog's sake, take it in the spirit in which is was meant!
                              It always seems impossible until it's done....

                              Comment

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