Right now my maturnal mother is sleeping soundly in her room in my house, with my 2 naughty puppies that have decided that she is the bees knees. Normally the pups are religated to the kitchen in their basket to sleep. They can't sleep with me as Tabu my wild cat dominates my bed... and believe me a wild cat and 2 pups together don't work! So all is happy with the world.
It was quite emotional picking my maturnal mother off the KLM flight at Kilimanjaro a couple of days ago. I was on Remedy Rescue all day and very emotional, even though I couldn't/can't relate the complex reasons why. She was so obviously besides hereself being back in East Africa. All my close friends and close acqauintances knew of her arrival and I had calls and sms message all Friday day, leading up to her 8pm landing, wishing me the best etc. I was quite taken aback and emotional at the care. Being somewhat of an independent soul (my choosing and character) I was all the more surprised at them all reaching out. They seemed to know how scared and secretly emotional I was.
Flis (my maturnal mum) loved my house and garden, and as she sat on my back step watching the 2 pups chase after a byclycle tyre I was running with, whilst still in my pajamas this morning, she laughted and laughed. Later I took her down to the second half of my garden where I grow all my own vegetables, which is 'off limits' to the pups, because thats where 'Tabu' my African wild cat and I spend time together.
Rightly Flis had been warned by my friends who also greeted her, not to try and be friendly with Tabu too soon, because Tabu can be very wild and does'nt like to talk to anyone else but her soul mate ~ me. Well Tabu, having spent a few days sizing Flis up and getting very grumpy with me because someone else was around, suddenly walked up to Flis, circled Flis' legs and rubbed up against her. Tabu has never done that to someone else before. Flis was exstatic and I thought it was the best present Flis could ever have. Flis said that she felt Tabu knew she was ill and wanted to tell her that everything was ok. I believe that too and it was majic watching Tabu greeting her.
We've spent tonight talking about 'old times' in Kenya. About my young years when I got to know and talk to an elderly Beryl Markham, my hero, who inspired my flying days. Talking about safaris, my grand father and my Dad ... and the days when they (my parents) where young and when a T Ford was the lastest vehicle in Kenya!
Flis has read the first two chapters of my book and, like me understands it is not about me writing a book alone ~ its about a Kenya family writing individually about their existence, history and love story with East Africa.
Flis is full of history and both myself and my older sister so dearly want Flis to start writing again before she dies. Her memories, life and adventures are so important and she is such a gifted writter. Any writing abilty I have is passed on from her.
Anyway I never thought I'd be here, talking about Flis like this. Yes she is on morphin 3 times a day, plus a concoction of other tabs, and pain is a heavy pill for her to swallow on a daily basis, but she is obviously so happy to be here. She's free again ~ back on home ground. I was worried that my step mum (who brought me up and died of cancer so many years ago) spirit would feel deserted by me (although she remains always the most special person in my heart).... but today I knew it was ok. She, I believe is not angry with me.... she is confident in my undying loyalty and love and in turn is probably responsible in making this all happen. She always knew that fate dictated I meet my maturnal mother, it just took the guts, love and influence of her to make it happen.
I could go on.... but I've bored you all enough.
On a final note. Yes, I am drinking and have a drink beside me right now. But I am in control sitting here late after Flis has gone to bed. I periodically poke my head round her door to check she is ok. Both Flis and the 2 pups are blissfully asleep. I'm together, taking it day by day. I know difficult times are ahead BUT I believe my spiirits will help me as long as I listen to their whispers. I have to learn about all the drugs Flis has to take, learn how to take care of her, read the signs. I believe that the spirits of my closest family members gone are watching over my shoulder, and I believe that before it is too late I will learn and experience a lot more with my natural mother. Bad memories must be gone and under the bridge. And when the time comes that Flis dies, my dead step mother (who I will always call Mum) and my dear special Grandfather will remain here in spirit to make sure that Flis' passing will be a celebration of her life not death..... and that my sister's and I will not cry too much. We all, every one of us in this world belong to God, whatever name we give him or religion we follow .... its the same... we belong to something far more powerful. XX
It was quite emotional picking my maturnal mother off the KLM flight at Kilimanjaro a couple of days ago. I was on Remedy Rescue all day and very emotional, even though I couldn't/can't relate the complex reasons why. She was so obviously besides hereself being back in East Africa. All my close friends and close acqauintances knew of her arrival and I had calls and sms message all Friday day, leading up to her 8pm landing, wishing me the best etc. I was quite taken aback and emotional at the care. Being somewhat of an independent soul (my choosing and character) I was all the more surprised at them all reaching out. They seemed to know how scared and secretly emotional I was.
Flis (my maturnal mum) loved my house and garden, and as she sat on my back step watching the 2 pups chase after a byclycle tyre I was running with, whilst still in my pajamas this morning, she laughted and laughed. Later I took her down to the second half of my garden where I grow all my own vegetables, which is 'off limits' to the pups, because thats where 'Tabu' my African wild cat and I spend time together.
Rightly Flis had been warned by my friends who also greeted her, not to try and be friendly with Tabu too soon, because Tabu can be very wild and does'nt like to talk to anyone else but her soul mate ~ me. Well Tabu, having spent a few days sizing Flis up and getting very grumpy with me because someone else was around, suddenly walked up to Flis, circled Flis' legs and rubbed up against her. Tabu has never done that to someone else before. Flis was exstatic and I thought it was the best present Flis could ever have. Flis said that she felt Tabu knew she was ill and wanted to tell her that everything was ok. I believe that too and it was majic watching Tabu greeting her.
We've spent tonight talking about 'old times' in Kenya. About my young years when I got to know and talk to an elderly Beryl Markham, my hero, who inspired my flying days. Talking about safaris, my grand father and my Dad ... and the days when they (my parents) where young and when a T Ford was the lastest vehicle in Kenya!
Flis has read the first two chapters of my book and, like me understands it is not about me writing a book alone ~ its about a Kenya family writing individually about their existence, history and love story with East Africa.
Flis is full of history and both myself and my older sister so dearly want Flis to start writing again before she dies. Her memories, life and adventures are so important and she is such a gifted writter. Any writing abilty I have is passed on from her.
Anyway I never thought I'd be here, talking about Flis like this. Yes she is on morphin 3 times a day, plus a concoction of other tabs, and pain is a heavy pill for her to swallow on a daily basis, but she is obviously so happy to be here. She's free again ~ back on home ground. I was worried that my step mum (who brought me up and died of cancer so many years ago) spirit would feel deserted by me (although she remains always the most special person in my heart).... but today I knew it was ok. She, I believe is not angry with me.... she is confident in my undying loyalty and love and in turn is probably responsible in making this all happen. She always knew that fate dictated I meet my maturnal mother, it just took the guts, love and influence of her to make it happen.
I could go on.... but I've bored you all enough.
On a final note. Yes, I am drinking and have a drink beside me right now. But I am in control sitting here late after Flis has gone to bed. I periodically poke my head round her door to check she is ok. Both Flis and the 2 pups are blissfully asleep. I'm together, taking it day by day. I know difficult times are ahead BUT I believe my spiirits will help me as long as I listen to their whispers. I have to learn about all the drugs Flis has to take, learn how to take care of her, read the signs. I believe that the spirits of my closest family members gone are watching over my shoulder, and I believe that before it is too late I will learn and experience a lot more with my natural mother. Bad memories must be gone and under the bridge. And when the time comes that Flis dies, my dead step mother (who I will always call Mum) and my dear special Grandfather will remain here in spirit to make sure that Flis' passing will be a celebration of her life not death..... and that my sister's and I will not cry too much. We all, every one of us in this world belong to God, whatever name we give him or religion we follow .... its the same... we belong to something far more powerful. XX
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