Thanks for the re-welcome everyone. (sorry I didn't post earlier - don't have any privacy at home)
I'm reading - no, I'm Studying - How to Heal the Addictive Mind. Basic premise is that we fall into the addictive thought system (of trying to fulfill ourselves and find happiness with things outside of ourselves) due to a lack of believing that we are whole and complete just as we are, a lack of knowing that we have everything we need for peace of mind inside ourselves, that we are love and are worthy of love.
Working iwth this book is helping me to understand myself. As I read I'm writing key points and journaling, to do a sort of self-therapy. I thought about seeing a therapist but I have so much pain right now, I can't bear the thought of opening it all up to share it with someone else.
I came up with username "MyOwnWoman" a few nights ago, when I was trying to banish the incessant fretting about what everyone around me thinks of me... does he love me, does she approve of me, if they knew this about me I'd be out, etc etc etc. I tried finding a positive affirmation ... and came up with "I am My Own Woman". It surprised me how immediately effective the statement is. It helps me to feel grounded, and to come back home to my own soul, little by little.
Love to you all, thanks, wishing you well.
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