Has anyone gotten help without telling their partner?

[MyOwnWoman]

Has anyone gotten help without telling their partner?

Ooh, I like that one - blaming it on peri-menopause. I'm only 42 but seem to be experiencing it early. So I don't sound like an idiot if I use this one... what does alcohol do to bother women and their hormones?

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Has anyone gotten help without telling their partner?

Finding My Feet;191093 wrote: Hi Cat. Welcome!

I'm not sure of yoru age and I don't want to insult!..... but in case...I use the, "Just doesn't agree with me any more since the (peri) menopause..." It really was the case for my Mum (and I think me even if I did go on drinknig the stuff...?!?!) and as there are so many of us women that join here at about 45-50 I think it's a good enough reason! (And most blokes don't want the explanation to continue after the 'menopause' word!!!!!) (We do lose a huge ammount of the enzyme that deals with alcohol as we get older so..... )

Sorry if you're a lovely young 25 year old.....................um!!!! But even as 'woman' - just blame hormones!

Good luck to you big time!!!!

Looking forward to reading about your journey and sharing your news.

Love
Finding x

What is the enzyme thing? Where can I purchase replacement enzymes?

I have always been honest with people that are close to me that I feel I am drinking too much. Nobody knows I have been on this site or ordered the book etc, but should they find out, I could care less. What are they going to do criticize me for trying to get better? So many times my attitude is "fizzuck the world"...hence the antidepressants and alcohol

I think a lot of us here have unmet needs, hormonally or otherwise and/or a genetic predisposition. We are all here to be the best we can be, who can fault us for that? Only somewone we wouldn't want to be around.

Hold your heads high and be strong, we are good people

[bassgirl]

Has anyone gotten help without telling their partner?

"No thanks. I have a rowing lesson (am meeting my running partner) at 7 AM tomorrow!"

"Even one drink is enough to give me a headache/hangover."

"I'm a lightweight. Wine puts me right to sleep."

I didn't really discuss quitting with my partner. It's not that he's not wonderful and supportive; rather, I don't enjoy admitting vulnerability. I just up and did it, and told him once I was on sure footing.

[beatle]

Has anyone gotten help without telling their partner?

drenched in wine: such great sentiments-- I mean really, WGAF? We are the ones with a problem we didn't ask for and we're dealing with it, FGS!

Still, that's not always how we are perceived, so bassgirl's suggestions are excellent... going running tomorrow, I like that one but ha ha nobody would believe that about me. I could however say the kids get up very early cause they do, but that never stopped me before.

I'm sticking with my allergy medication for tough spots, but actually I have found it to be rather easy to just refuse without explanation. I simply told my friends the other night I'm not drinking-- and nobody even questioned me (I guess they might have guessed my problem, I don't know, but it can be rather easier than you suspect).

As drenched says: Hold your heads high.

[tawnyfrog]

Has anyone gotten help without telling their partner?

Isn't it interesting how we worry about how to tell friends that we're not drinking ... how we need to make up legitimate-sounding excuses.

We never gave a rat's arse about explaining why we were legless, belligerent, aggressive, non-sensical, repetitive, ... plain bloody obnoxious.

"Oh, sorry - got drunk and ugly - and I can't remember what I'm supposed to apologise for ....."

It can and DOES get better ...... Keep working it, guys.

[42cat]

Has anyone gotten help without telling their partner?

Thanks for the super replies. Those "no thanks" excuses are great to keep in mind for sure. Of course, I normally drink at home as opposed to parties, etc.... but I'm going to use the diet one for cutting back I think .. at least for starters ... with DH. I hope to confide more in him at some point, but for now I have to get my head on straight(er) and do some good thinking.

Oh ... and age .. I'm 42 too! Not sure if perimenopause has set in, but there have been some monthly changes for sure. I didn't know that affected how alcohol affects us. Interesting!

=(^..^)=

[YoungAtHeart]

Has anyone gotten help without telling their partner?

Well, Cat, we don't process alcohol as well anyway as we age, so I wouldn't worry about being precise. Also, perimenopause can start 10-12 years before real menopause sets in, so you may well be telling the truth!

Good luck!

[Hannah]

Has anyone gotten help without telling their partner?

Cat, good to see you back on the boards! I agree w bassgirl and a few others who say that you have to do what you feel comfortable with - and I think the idea of telling your hubby once you feel you are on sure footing is a good idea. Until then, the diet or perimenopause thing sounds good, and the medication thing in a pinch.

I am on 48 days AF now, and no one knows I stopped drinking except my hubby, but even he doesn't know quite how much I was drinking. I do intend someday to tell people "Oh, I used to drink" when I have more time under my belt. I guess I'm still afraid of slipping and then being made to look like a fool. But as I get more AF days under my belt, I am feeling more and more confident.

Good luck to you in whatever strategy works for you!

[MyOwnWoman]

Has anyone gotten help without telling their partner?

Ah - that's a good point Hannah. I too avoid telling some people because, what if I'm not successful and want to drink with them in the future? Jeez...