Conquering Monkey Mind

[MyOwnWoman]

I've long heard that it is only our thoughts that hurt us. Circumstances may occur in our lives, but it is what we think about them that brings us pain.
Lately I've been working really hard to "get" this - not just understand the concept but use it.

I'm learning that, due to lots of abuse in childhood, my mind does all sorts of crazy shit. For instance, I'm convinced that I am widely and deeply disliked, and obsess about it all the time (although I cannot come up with any real reason why people would dislike me). Thoughts like this are habit for my mind. And they keep my in great despair. And they sabotage my attempts to quit drinking, again and again and again.

Due to living with a broken relationship these past couple months, my 'monkey mind' has been working overtime, and its making me crazy. So last night I meditated for a bit, to quiet it, which allowed me the space to reverse it.

All the time, regarding my relationship, my mind obsesses with thought such as "He lied to me", "He's using me", "He doesn't like me", etc etc etc etc. And each time the thought comes it HURTS.

So last night, after meditating, I brought those thoughts into my consciousness and replied to each one, to myself in my mind, "And the only thing about that that can hurt me is what I think about it." - - - He lied to me (many times). I thought the lies were what hurt me. NO - What hurt me was what was going on in my mind in reaction to the lies. This was a major event for me! I began to apply this to other detrimental thoughts - like my father's abuse. The only thing that can hurt me about it anymore is what I think about it.

Therefore, I have control over the effect any circumstance has on me!!
It has made such a difference to 'get' this, going from theory to experiencing the difference it makes in me. This morning I woke feeling much lighter, and more FREE.

How about that ... turns out I am my own woman after all....

[betty boop]

Conquering Monkey Mind

Well Done, sometimes we have to dig deep to feel better, but you're definitely winning ......

Proud of you ....

[slightlysuze]

Conquering Monkey Mind

That really resonates with me.........they're only thoughts.....and we can disarm them.

Thanks, MyOwnWoman

SS

[Guest]

Conquering Monkey Mind

I agree MOW,
Particular circumstances and particular people can only bring us down if we let them by our reactions to them. Us women (and you boys, of course!!! LOL) have the power to rise above whatever.

You`re turning out to be some woman, ima!!!........long may it continue!!!

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Conquering Monkey Mind

Awesome!

[meditation mama]

Conquering Monkey Mind

WOW, MOW!!!!!!! That is a major step forward.

Namaste,

MM

[Finding My Self]

Conquering Monkey Mind

WOW MOW indeed! You've put it sooooh well (as usual clever thing).

Thanks - I 'get it' occasionally too - very recent though! - and it's so freeing and spacious.

Your words help lots.

Love Finding x

[making it right]

Conquering Monkey Mind

we let ourselves b hurt by others opinions an actions, i hope all can gain the self rspect that every individual deserves, ima i read a lot of your posts an i really hope u start to realize what anincrdibly strong woman u r, 4 u and your daughter, keep going , xxx

[MyOwnWoman]

Conquering Monkey Mind

Thanks everyone. It's nearly the end of my workday, and I haven't been in tears all day! lol
Last night's work really had an impact on me, even though I haven't worked on it today.
Gotta love growth, eh?

[Determinatrix]

Conquering Monkey Mind

Ima,
Sorry I'm a little late in the day.
My mom used to tell me "it's not what happens, it's how we take it".
We get to control our reaction, one half of the dance.
That does not mean we don't feel pain or disappointment,
but we control how we express those feelings and what we do with them.
I find it very difficult to not bounce off other folks vibes,
but to just put my own out there and let them bounce off mine.
Congrats!
Dx

[uda]

Conquering Monkey Mind

Thank you so much for posting that MOW - I'm trying to 'get' the thought/belief thing and sometimes succeed - you're right, when you do it feels wonderful. I'm still learning.

[Flip]

Conquering Monkey Mind

The thing I find really amazing is how long some things take to "Know", even when you understand it on an intellectual level. This is a perfect example MOW/Ima.

Most of us understand that things only take on the meaning we assign to them and that if we change our way of thinking, then they no longer have the same meaning. But it is not possible to just make yourself instinctively KNOW it.

I've found this has happened a lot since I stopped drinking, just small things mostly, but suddenly the light bulb has gone on, and I finally KNOW.

Then I beat myself up for not knowing 20 years ago! lol Just kidding.

[satori]

Conquering Monkey Mind

MOW - cool - you "got" it - now it is just a matter of just practicing with it - you are well on the way to kicking that monkey's butt!

BTW - as I was reading your post, I was reminded of another technique that I sometimes find helpful.
Some of my unwanted thoughts come to me almost like "pictures" or imagined "scenes" rather than "words".

If I get some of these unwelcome or negative pictorial memories / thoughts , I imagine the "picture" being crumpled up into a ball and being thrown in a waste basket.

Sounds a bit silly - but I find it works quite well - I consciously "throw out" the negative image and bring my focus back to my meditation (or indeed daily life - or whatever else I am doing at the time the unwelcome thought intruded).

Just something to try - I find it works quite well for me.

Good luck

Satori
xxx

[MyOwnWoman]

Conquering Monkey Mind

That sounds like an excellent technique Satori - thank you.

Flip - I'm learning that there is definitely a difference between 'knowing' a concept with your mind, as in understanding it in theory, and Knowing it in your Being - through experience. And I don't think that kind of knowing can happen until exactly when we are ready for it.