the way we look at giving up things more positively

[Determinator]

been mulling this over in my head and not sure this will come out in a tangible manner but here goes anyway:

when we are kids we wanted things and we are very materialistic. The idea of getting things makes us elated but giving is a horrid thought. Untill of course we mature over the years and realize finally that giving can really be more rewarding than receiving ever could be.

segway now to going alcohol free for any given period of time. It appears at first that we are bing stripped of something dear to us....that now we are coming up short somewhere in our self assesment. An inexplicable sense of lonliness or sadness can come to us. Then as time goes on we realize what we have gained by giving this substance away. We have gained a gift of immense proportion. Every day we wake up feeling clear I like to think there is a huge and beautifully wrapped present with a bow on top. It signifyes my day. I gleefully open it up. The next day I get another present and it's even a little bit bigger! wow! that may sound silly but it's these visualizations that can help us see how much we are gaining by letting go of something that we hoarded like a dragons lair. It stands to reason by this logic that if we give away a little something we should feel good, and if we give away something huge we should feel really amazing. therefore giving away this huge thing shouldn't make us sad...it should cause us to celebrate! just a matter of how we look at it. Enjoy your gifts!!!

Be well friends.

[Finding My Self]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

Hey Deter.... that's really good! I so agree - now!! I don't think I thought I'd ever feel this good having 'given this thing up'... Proud of my improved self-control but so good? No. But I do and pride has long gone in the face of huge gratitude for this feeling!!
Thanks for this one - good thoughts!
Here's to the beautiful present with a huuuuuge big bow!
Finding x

[lushy]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

Wow D, great analogy. Gave me much to think about. Thanks!

[Flip]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

I stopped saying "gave it up" a while ago as it is such a negative way of expressing it. These days I say "I stopped". This is a really powerful and positive statement. And damn, doesn't it feel great!

[Guest]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

Yes, I like a simple "I stopped". "I gave it up" sounds like we had to wrestle it from our vice-like grip. And when I stopped, I stopped wasting my life.

Starlight Impress x

[Flip]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

Or even better, how about "When I stopped, I started living"

[maxman]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

the wise one has spoken!

[vinophile]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

I loved this post Determinator!!!!!!!
Thank you!!!
Janet

[Flip]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

Not to hyjack this thread, but the same thing applies to weight loss - everyone says they have lost weight, or going to lose some weight, but it sounds so negative - like we lost a friend!

How about "I have rid myself of excess fat?"

Any better suggestions?

[lushy]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

How about "My ass looks less hideous with these pounds gone?"

Sorry D, Flip started it.

[Flip]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

We need to talk about your unwillingness to accept responsibility Lush.

[xtexan]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

About those excess fat lbs.

Being the engineer, I could say, "Yes, I am altering my gravimetric vector, along the negative Z-axis, by a mass to energy conversion equation. This will result in a total positive Z-axis delta!"

......or something along those lines.:H

Neil

[Flip]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

yes, but being the Public Servant that I am I would say

"It is proposed that the Department introduces new incentives to achieve the expected outcomes through the implementation of a healthy lifestyle policy. This policy, once implemented will encourage the public to use Government incentives to rid themselves of undesirable results, brought on by the overeating of unrecommended substances. This outcome is the result of the previous government."

[karma7171]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

this is what I needed to see

This was the perfect message I needed to see tonight. I need to focus more on what I get from giving something up...rather than what I am missing. Does alcohol give us something? In a way yes, or we never would have continued to do it. For me it gave me an escape from everything. I had nothing to really escape...but it was nice to just escape from it all...and alcohol was an easy way to do it. I wish I could afford a weekend house to escape....but I don't really need that or alcohol for that matter to do it. When I went abs for an extended time before I did see many of the bonuses I got from being abs. But I always felt like something was missing. And it was. I still never could figuire out who the hell I was. I was trying to be something I was not. When you do that it won't last. It was when I drank again to a much lesser degree that I could see things more clearly. And now where I stand I see things even more clearly. What I mean is that I don't regret one step of this journey...I needed it all to fully come into myself. I feel like I am about to release alcohol for good...but because it fits me...rather than me trying to just conform and be something I was not. If that makes any sense. This time around just feels natural...and not a struggle. I am still finding what will work best for me.

[nancy]

the way we look at giving up things more positively

Thanks for the positive post Determinator.
There are a lot of parallels between giving up drinking and growing up.

when you are younger, you are more inclined to act on impulse and less inclined to sacrifice for longer term goals. those things have to be drilled into us by adults. is there anything more impulsive and short-term than escaping with alcohol? if there were not so many intelligent, deep alcoholics one would swear it's a disease for the immature, thoughtless and greedy. the posts on this site prove that this is not true though... so we are walking paradoxes.

what does it take to value those long-term goals and to decline to satisfy impulses? i guess all of you AFers know. I have been moderating, mostly successfully but with some slips. one slip is too many because bad things can happen, though they haven't in my case.